#also i keep seeing people thirsting over him. like… he’s 13 he can’t even get a drivers license 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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recently got back into the TAWOG fandom and GOD Rob has gone through some serious shit despite barely being in highschool
#the amazing world of gumball#TAWOG#rob tawog#tawog rob#also i keep seeing people thirsting over him. like… he’s 13 he can’t even get a drivers license 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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a love that endures | Yoongi
→ summary:
“Oh come on! Just go say hi to him already,” Seokjin huffs. He wiggles his eyebrows, striking you with the urge to shave them off in retaliation. “I could feel your ‘God, I miss his dick’ vibes from across the room!”
“I do not emit dick thirst vibes,” you respond hotly, swatting him in the tit. You pause, considering. “Wait, but do you think he misses my p—”
“Say no more,” Seokjin interrupts, a wicked smirk gracing his lips. His gaze is fixed somewhere behind you, but you have a sinking suspicion you know why he looks like he’s won the lottery. “Speaking of the devil, look who’s coming over to say hello!”
{or alternatively: Yoongi and Y/N. Y/N and Yoongi. High school sweethearts that were never meant to last, until a reunion ten years later manages to reignite a flame that never quite burnt out.}
→ genre: high school reunion!au, exes to lovers, fluff, humor, minor angst → warnings: shy!yoongi and shy!oc live rent free in my brain, mutual pining is poggers, hoseok and seokjin aren’t evil for once in a cinnaminsvga fic, implied smut so it’s pg-13 because i’m a wimp → words: 14.4K → a/n: SHE’S ALIVE!! this is dedicated to @himbeaux-joon who commissioned this piece ages ago. thank you again for requesting this because this was honestly so much fun to write. i’ve been in a bit of writing slump these past few weeks but this fic came out so easily and got way longer than expected (perhaps because it’s about yoongi and he’s always been the easiest one to write for me). enjoy!! ;o;
The mere sight of him is enough to knock the wind out of you.
Your body freezes, the hand curled around your paper cup filled with punch tightening ever so slightly. It isn’t like you’re surprised that he came; you aren’t supposed to be. Of course, you should have expected his arrival, but you’ve been hoping all night that he might have been too busy to attend.
He isn’t even on time—it has almost been two hours since the event started and you had been filled with a false hope that perhaps he had RSVP’d and decided he couldn’t make it.
You had seen Hoseok, his best friend from your younger days, standing outside the entrance of the ballroom before they had started letting people in. The moment Hoseok saw you, he immediately came over to sweep you into a tight hug, his infectious laughter ringing in your ears. He had greeted you happily, expressing how much he missed you since high school, but never once bringing up the elephant in the room.
It wasn’t like you were going to bring him up first. No, that would be weird on your part. Nevermind the fact that going to high school reunions was a recipe for reliving past traumas and seeing all your childhood friends either married or pregnant—you weren’t going to be that person who asked where their ex was. You refused to be the person craning their neck to spy on the entrance every two minutes, hoping to catch sight of an old familiar face.
The problem is that you are that person, and you kind of hate yourself for it. However, it is also the reason why you are probably the only person in the entire ballroom who notices his quiet arrival.
He has never liked causing commotions, which is often apparent from the way he conducts himself. He walks into the room just as a loud round of applause breaks out; an old schoolmate of yours is walking up to the podium, probably the person who had arranged the get-together in the first place. It is a perfect distraction for him as he slinks past the door, keeping near the wall so as not to be seen by anyone just yet.
(Except he has been seen—he just doesn’t know it yet.)
You do not know for how long you stare at him, just that it takes you a moment to realize you haven’t taken a breath since he stepped foot into the same space as you. You take a deep, shuddering breath, forcing your racing heartbeat to calm down. You swallow thickly, throat so unbearably dry that even drinking from your lukewarm cup of punch doesn’t seem to do anything.
But the undeniable truth is there, standing only a few meters away from you, and nothing on earth will be able to wash away the nerves flooding through your system.
After ten years of radio silence, Min Yoongi is in your orbit once again.
In the grand scheme of things, ten years wasn’t all that long. Four years in university had passed by in a blur, and the absolute chaos that ensued right after you graduated as you scrambled to secure a job and move out of your hometown had made the days seem shorter than they actually were. You had not even noticed that time was passing until you found that cream envelope waiting for you one day after work, your alma mater’s school crest painfully recognizable even after all these years.
During all that time, the world around you shifted without you noticing, and that meant people were changing too.
Yoongi is 28 now. And so are you, after many months of denial. You have not seen each other since you were both 18—both of you far too young to know about any of the things you would experience in the next ten years.
He might have grown a little taller since then, something you are sure that your brother will find amusing. His hair isn’t dyed like you remembered, as he has opted to keep it his natural dark black that you have not seen since you were both in middle school. It’s styled differently too: combed over and gelled back, with his bangs pushed back and his forehead exposed. When he turns his head to the side, a gasp spills past your lips before you can stop it.
“Is that a fucking undercut?” you mutter in shock, your eyes straining out of their sockets as you try to drink him in. Even under the dim lighting of the ballroom, his new haircut is hard to miss. No one else seems to be undergoing the same mental collapse as you, judging by how everyone’s attention is still fixated on the person speaking at the podium. How the hell is no one else losing their fucking minds to the sight of Min Yoongi with a fucking undercut? Some questions are impossible to answer, you surmise.
When you decided to attend the reunion, you had not once thought about how Yoongi would look like. Somehow, you had developed this stagnant picture of him in your head, even after all these years. To you, he will always be the boy with the stark blonde hair, the mismatched eyelids, the pouty lips, the dumpling cheeks. He is the boy who can’t wear his own contact lenses to save his life, the boy who sometimes wears his favorite leather jacket to sleep, the boy who only drinks Americanos like it was water.
Gone are those days, you realize. That image of him has been smashed to pieces, instead replaced by this dashing (and incredibly hot) man—a stranger. A stranger with unbleached (and healthy) hair, a jawline sharp enough to cut glass. He has his glasses kept away, and there is no leather jacket in sight.
But you can see him, if you look hard enough. The same spark in his eye, the same curve of his lips. You catch him smiling for a second, and his cheeks still puff up like dough. Maybe it’s just hopeless thinking, but you see him. It’s still him. To you, he will always be your 18-year-old Min Yoongi, the one who would greet you with a sweet kiss on the forehead every time you would—
Raucous applause breaks you from your train of thought, and you blink rapidly in surprise. You have to forcibly pull yourself out of your Yoongi-induced trance, clapping alongside everyone without really knowing what was going on. All of the extra noise sounds like buzzing in your ears, especially when it is drowned out by the roar of your blood rushing to your head all at once.
“Once again, I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight. We will begin the program right after dinner, so please feel free to help yourselves to the buffet! Cheers everyone!” You faintly hear your old schoolmate speak, before her voice is quickly overrun by the commotion of people walking over to the extravagant display of food. It takes a moment for the crowd of heads to disperse, so when you can finally look back to where you last saw Yoongi, he is no longer alone.
Hoseok has his arm slung around Yoongi, his infectious laughter loud enough to be heard over clinking plates and silverware. The two are as different as night and day, with Hoseok practically bouncing from excitement and Yoongi rolling his eyes from annoyance. But it is easy to see that his pout is nothing but a ruse; you can already catch the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips.
You feel your own seams breaking, unwittingly sporting a grin of your own. It is nice to know that Yoongi hasn’t been alone all this time, that he still seems close with his old best friend. You cannot count the number of friendships that you have lost over time, and you still grieve many of them during your quiet moments. Alas, it was often never even anyone’s fault, the strains of adulthood often being the biggest deal breakers in your relationships.
That is, of course, except for one.
“Enjoying yourself? I didn’t think we’d share the same voyeuristic tendencies,” says a voice, creeping up behind you. Now, normal people would not usually expect other sane people to invade your personal space and breathe directly into your ear, but that’s just your humble opinion. What you do know is that one certain individual enjoys breaking the mold when it comes to societal norms, and it is none other than…
“Jesus fucking Christ!” You shriek, nearly sucker-punching the offending degenerate in the face. You hold back your fist from connecting with his face, but your resulting irritation remains. Whether that irritation is because you regret holding back or not will unfortunately also have to remain unanswered. “Oh God, it’s you.”
“Oh, no need for that. Most people usually call me Seokjin,” he snickers, thoroughly enjoying your flushed face. Kim Seokjin pats you on the shoulder, his trademark “pretty boy” smile still as radiant as you remembered. It does nothing to quell your urge to raise your fists again, however. “Hello, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here!”
“The feeling is not mutual,” you snort. Much like how Yoongi was with Hoseok, your derision is nothing but a rouse. As much as you want to kick Seokjin in the nuts, you also cannot ignore how much you want to hug him the slimy bastard—but you definitely will not be the first one to admit it. So like the tsundere that you are, you decide to insult him instead. “Why are you here? You’re not even from this class. Don’t you have other things to do? Or rather, people to do?”
“My heart! You wound me,” he gasps, grasping his chest as though he’d been shot. “How could you say that to your best friend in the entire world? Don’t you know how much I missed you?”
“Easy. I do it because the only other alternative would lead me straight to prison,” you shrug, but your grin betrays you.
This time, you don’t jolt away when he closes in for a hug. “And I guess I miss you too,” you say, your words slightly muffled into his chest. Like always, he sees through your prickly act because as much as you like to pretend, Kim Seokjin is kind of amazing—loose bolts and all.
“It’s nice to know that your tongue hasn’t lost its edge, though I suppose I wouldn’t be intimately knowledgeable in that area. After all, I still am very much a raging homosexual and pussy isn’t really my forte,” Seokjin guffaws, his volume causing a few nearby guests to raise their heads in alarm.
You bow at them, sheepishly apologizing on his behalf before grabbing him by the collar.
“Will you stop being embarrassing for just one second? I swear, I thought I retired from my babysitting job when I graduated high school,” you hiss, but the way his mouth curls up with mischief is answer enough. God, you missed this son of a bitch.
“Unfortunately for you, being a pest is part of my DNA,” he smirks, carefully plucking your hands off from his neck, as though your nails were not mere inches away from ripping his trachea into pieces. “Though, I am offended by your assumption that I am still the same slut that you knew. I’ve grown up a little, you know! I’m a changed man!”
“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you of all people have settled down,” you laugh, not missing the way Seokjin’s perfectly stenciled brow raises slightly.
“I know we haven’t seen each other since Christmas, but come on Y/N! You of all people should be applauding me for my improved behavior! You must have noticed how much I changed when I visited.”
“When you visited me last Christmas, you immediately insulted my taste in kitchen towels, went on Grindr to find a hookup despite my numerous pleas, and promptly desecrated my guest bedroom that no housekeeper or priest is willing to exorcise to this day,” you gag, shuddering at the memory. “And then you ate all my ice cream and proceeded to clog my toilet!”
“Um? Aren’t you forgetting that I also bought you that dress you wanted? Rude,” Seokjin retorts, not the least bit remorseful. “Well, that’s what you get for agreeing to be my best bitch for life. You know that I take pinky promises very seriously.”
Unfortunately, he does take his promises seriously. It is probably the only thing he’ll ever be serious about, as much as the man enjoys parading his depravity. “Okay, whatever. I’ll bite. Who’s the unlucky man you’ve managed to deceive into a relationship?”
“Oh, it’s someone we both used to know. I’m his plus one for tonight,” he says, supplying you with the most useless non-answer imaginable.
“Seokjin. We’re at a high school reunion. We know everyone here. That could be anyone!” you exclaim.
“Well, isn’t that fun? Then we can do a scavenger hunt!” Seokjin grins, clapping his hands together excitedly. He pulls you in front of him, forcing the two of you to survey the crowd. “Okay, hold your arm out like this—” After a few seconds of you failing to resist him, he manages to get you to unfurl your finger as if you were about to order something from the dollar menu at McDonalds. Unfortunately for you, the tall twink is stronger than he appears. “—and just keep pointing around until I tell you that you’re getting warmer!”
“Seokjin, I don’t think this is very—” you start, but Seokjin is already moving your arm for you. Like a hurricane, Kim Seokjin listens to no one but his own homewrecking whims.
“Park Chanyeol? Close, but not really. You should know that I don’t double dip with past flings,” he says, shifting you to the left. “Kim Namjoon? Now that’s a hunk of meat that I wish I’d taken a bite of, but unfortunately he’s as straight as a ruler. Pass,” he hums, continuing to move you bit by bit.
You’re both getting uncomfortably close to where Yoongi is, and Seokjin doesn’t appear to be stopping any time soon. You did notice that Yoongi had come dateless to the reunion (a fact, by the way, that you did not rejoice over when you had noticed), but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s single. You have known Seokjin for more than a decade at this point, and despite your odd friendship, you are sure that he would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.
Though, that does beg the question… How far does his dick thirst really go? Maybe you’ll finally find out today.
“Warmer, getting warmer…” Seokjin inches you closer and closer to where Yoongi is standing. You feel frozen in his grasp, unsure if you wanted to know anymore. If Seokjin really is dating Yoongi, then what? It’s not like you were dating him anyway… What difference does it make if it’s Seokjin?
(It makes all the difference, but you refuse to think about it.)
“Nope, not Wonho... A little bit to the left… Bingo!” Seokjin declares, stopping your finger right on— “No, Y/N! Stop moving! You’ve gone too far to the wall! I was pointing at him.”
“H-Hoseok? You’re dating Hoseok?!” You squeak, an avalanche of relief flooding through you. You don’t even have the energy to pretend to be composed as your entire body starts untensing involuntarily, your shoulders slumping as though a weight has been lifted from you. “Why couldn’t you have just told me like a normal person? Why must everything be tortuous and dramatic when it comes to you?”
“I am a naturally insufferable and theatrical person. Sue me,” he shrugs, greatly enjoying the exhausted look on your face. “What? Were you actually scared that I was dating your sloppy seconds? What do you think I am? An asshole?”
You stare at him. “Is that a rhetorical question?”
Seokjin scoffs. “If I wanted to get roasted, I would approach two tops at a gay bar.” He pauses. “Wait, are you seriously not going to congratulate me for finally snagging a boy who has a functioning moral compass?”
“Define ‘snagging.’ Did you, like, tie him up and blackmail him to become your boyfriend like those terrible One Direction Wattpad fanfics, or—” You stop halfway, giggling at your friend’s unamused pout. “Okay, okay. Yes, Seokjin. I am very proud of you. Congrats on finally becoming an adult. Your hoe days are over.”
“Who said they were over?” He snorts. Noticing your alarm, Seokjin rolls his eyes in exasperation. “Oh, don’t give me that look! I’m not into infidelity and you know that. I just meant that I’m still a hoe with significantly fewer options.”
“How did that even happen in the first place?” you say, jabbing your thumb in Hoseok’s direction. Thankfully, the man in question is still busy talking to Yoongi, though you don’t know for how much longer. If Seokjin isn’t lying, then there’s a high chance they’re going to walk over to say hi and you’re not sure if you’re mentally prepared to go through the five stages of grief all over again.
“Believe me, I’m surprised as well. I started dating Hoseok after he asked me for help with his sister’s wedding gift. He asked me to help arrange an itinerary for her sister’s honeymoon in America,” Seokjin explains with a dreamy smile. He sighs, holding a hand up to his chest. You can physically see the heart emojis circling his head like a halo. “We hit it off from there and dare I say… Not only is he the only person who can keep up with my high maintenance lifestyle, but dear Lord, he could totally be recruited into the NDA for his astounding dick game—”
“Ever heard of TMI? Gross,” you interrupt, your face crumpling in disgust. You shove him away when his loud cackles start rattling your eardrums.
“You were scared though, right?” he says through his giggles. “When you thought that I was dating Yoongi?”
Of course Seokjin had noticed your mini-mental breakdown, judging from the shit-eating grin on his face.
“N-no,” you stutter, but your heated cheeks and averted gaze give you away. “E-either way, I wouldn’t have cared if you did!” you say. You know, like a liar.
“I bet you don’t care that Yoongi got significantly hotter in the past ten years too, huh?” Seokjin teases, snickering loudly. Under the harsh lighting of the fluorescent chandelier lights, you might have mistaken the boy in front of you for the devil instead of your best friend of almost twenty years.
“I sincerely rue the day I introduced myself to you in the third grade,” you hiss, sipping from your cup to hide your humiliation.
“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re all embarrassed,” Seokjin coos, pinching your cheeks with the gentleness of an ape. You slap his hand away, unable to think of any retort.
“Cat got your tongue? You didn’t even deny it when I accused you,” Seokjin laughs. He claps his hands jovially, acting as though he’s enjoying a show at the circus. Given your performance tonight, that statement isn’t all that far from reality.
“I don’t need to defend myself from you,” you say, puffing your cheeks indignantly. “I just… think he looks handsome. Is that illegal or something?”
“Certainly not. Though, you might want to dial down the pining a teensy bit,” he singsongs. “That’s how I found you in the first place. I sensed your pining from a mile away and came as soon as I could!”
“I wasn’t pining!” you exclaim. “I was just… admiring the plant beside him.”
“Right, sure,” Seokjin says, arching an eyebrow in challenge. You feel your hackles rising at his smug expression, your ‘Seokjin-is-about-to-ruin-your-life’ alarm ringing in your ears. “So, you wouldn’t mind if I brought you over there to say hello? After all, my boyfriend is over there and as much as I enjoy pestering you, I also want to be with him very much.”
You whistle lowly, impressed. “Wow, that’s actually kind of sweet of you.”
“Yes, I know. Kim Seokjin’s heart grew three sizes that day, yada yada yada.” Seokjin says sarcastically, but his lovesick smile ruins the effect. When he opens his mouth once more, the mirage instantly disappears. “But you would understand if you saw how much he’s packing—”
“Shut up, I didn’t ask—”
“Fine, then let’s ask the man himself! Besides, you know you’re being ridiculous, right?” Seokjin tuts, annoyed. He fixes you with a glare, making you feel like a scolded child. “It’s just Yoongi. You and I both know he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and probably would love to see you after so long.”
You wave your hands around helplessly, almost sloshing your drink onto a nearby bystander. After muttering a meek apology at your harried classmate, you turn back to Seokjin with a defeated sigh.
You know that he’s right, and you absolutely hate him for it. “Jinnie, I’m a mess! I can hardly think with Yoongi standing meters away from me, much less if he were to stand right in front of me! I’m just going to embarrass myself,” you lament, holding your head in your hand.
“That’s true. You will definitely embarrass yourself,” Seokjin hums, nodding sagely. He shrugs his shoulders. “All the more reason we should do it. Relax, I’ll be your wingman like old times! All we have to do is remind him of all the fantastic, mind-blowing coitus you had in your youth and he’ll be a goner for sure.”
“If by goner, you mean he’ll be gone from my life permanently this time, then you’re right,” you groan. You have a half a mind to dump the remainder of your disgusting punch all over his expensive Bottega Veneta coat, though you also don’t want to spend the next three months receiving packaged turds from Seokjin in your mailbox. “Please, just let me suffer in silence for the remainder of the night, okay? Is that really too much to ask?”
“Oh come on! Just go say hi to him already,” Seokjin huffs. He wiggles his eyebrows, striking you with the urge to shave them off in retaliation. “I could feel your ‘God, I miss his dick’ vibes from across the room!”
“I do not emit dick thirst vibes,” you respond hotly, swatting him in the tit. You pause, considering. “Wait, but do you think he misses my p—”
“Say no more,” Seokjin interrupts, a wicked smirk gracing his lips. His gaze is fixed somewhere behind you, but you have a sinking suspicion you know why he looks like he’s won the lottery. “Speaking of the devil, look of who’s coming over to say hello!”
Swiveling around, you see that your intuition is right: Yoongi and Hoseok are swiftly making their way through the crowd, one of them appearing to be more enthusiastic than the other. You swallow thickly, your palms growing damp as they get closer to where the two of you stand.
"Seokjin, we gotta go!" you hiss, but your panic goes largely ignored as your best friend leaves you to envelop his lover in a dramatic embrace.
The two men exchange teary and heartfelt touches, acting as if they had been separated by years of war instead of the meager minutes they had spent apart to greet their long-time friends.
"My honeybunch! Oh, how I've missed you so much!" Seokjin cries, nuzzling his nose into Hoseok's neck. You might have mistaken him for a vampire with how aggressively he sniffs Hoseok's skin. Had Seokjin been 5% more unhinged, you do not doubt that he might have started suckling on his boyfriend like a leech.
"Oh, hyung. It's barely been an hour, but why does it feel like it has been forever?" Hoseok sighs forlornly, jaw clenching as though he's in pain. He croaks out a sob, lifting Seokjin in the air and spinning him around. "My love, let us never part again!"
You take a few steps away from them, trying to make it apparent to all the bewildered onlookers that you have nothing to do with homosexual Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
"What kind of shitty production is this? I want my money back," you murmur, fake-gagging behind the two of them. The lovesick fools pay no mind to your disgust; in fact, they seem to relish in it. Their efforts double, their theatrical kissy-smoochy sound effects causing goosebumps to form on your arms. "Seriously, I've had enough of this and I've only been forced to witness it for two seconds."
"Tell me about it," says a voice to your left. Startled, you nearly let out a shocked gasp when you realize that Yoongi had found his way by your side, his own disgusted gaze fixed on the bumbling buffoons still lost in their world. He glances at you for a second, quirking his lips into a small smile. "Hey, Y/N."
In just six words, Min Yoongi manages to make time grind to a halt. You gape at him, your brain ceasing in function. It takes you a full minute to realize that the man standing beside you is not a figment of your imagination. You had been so caught up in the absurdity of the situation that for a moment you had forgotten that Yoongi is a real person.
It's Yoongi, your first love. The person you haven't seen or spoken to in years. The man who has haunted your dreams for over a decade. He's standing right beside you, and he's smiling at you. He's here, he's hot, and he's saying hello.
Like the incredibly eloquent and profound person that you are, you reply: "Yellow!"
You had meant to say "Yoongi, hello!" like a normal person, but your brain had amalgamated your words during its rebooting process. And so, you are left standing there silently, frozen by your embarrassment. You swear you can hear a pin drop as you beg for the earth to swallow you whole.
Unfortunately for you, the floor remains painfully tangible beneath your feet, forcing you to clear your throat and expound on your mystifying exclamation. Yoongi watches you with curious eyes, patiently waiting for you to speak.
"W-what I meant to say is, uh," you stammer, your cheeks heating up to an alarming degree. "Those yellow streamers are pretty tacky, don't you think?"
Nice one. In terms of comebacks, you would personally give yourself a C for effort. (Note: C stands for "Can I please shove a fist up my ass and crabwalk the fuck out of here?")
Yoongi contemplates the tacky decorations in question, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I guess. They pretty much look like the stuff we'd make in elementary school during Arts and Crafts." He points to your mutual friends, grimacing in annoyance. "Them, on the other hand? No child should ever come into contact with those heathens."
"You're right," you snort, shaking your head.
There is a long and awkward pause. Yoongi clears his throat, swaying from side to side while staring at his shoes. You aren't any better, twiddling your thumbs as you will your cheeks to stop flushing. Your senses are practically screaming at you to run away and hide forever, but your limbs feel disjointed from the rest of you.
It's like we're at the zoo on a date and the monkeys won't stop fucking each other, your mind unhelpfully supplies, offering you an image that will permanently make its home on the backs of your eyelids.
Desperate to break the silence, eventually you say, "Hey, Yoongi—"
Right at the same time, Yoongi says, "Hey, Y/N—"
Another pause, but this one is slightly less tense. The two of you share a nervous laugh, though yours sounds a little bit more hysterical. You motion for him to speak first.
"I, uh... wanted to say that you look great. Yeah. Like, you haven't aged a day at all. N-not to say that I don't think you've matured or..." Yoongi stumbles over his words, his voice cracking.
Instead of feeling relieved that he's just as nervous as you, his anxiety only exacerbates your own. There's a reason you have never been good at public speaking, and this is a good example of why:
"No! I get what you mean, don't worry about it," you laugh, on the verge of a mental breakdown. What the fuck is this conversation, even? "You look exactly the same too. Umm... Of course, except for the, uh, hair?"
"Oh, you mean the gray hairs?"
"No, no! Of course not! I m-meant your hair looks really hot—I mean good! It looks GOOD," you repeat, frantically emphasizing the last bit. You had instinctively panicked, your voice rising in pitch. If your cheeks weren't flaming hot already, then they're definitely redder than Seokjin's ass after a Friday night of fun.
The apples of Yoongi's cheek match your own flustered state, though you can imagine that you’re probably at least a hundred times worse. “Well, thank you. I was actually feeling self-conscious about my hair, so hearing that from you is really… nice,” he says, brushing his hair shyly. “I’m kinda done with bright colored hair for now, so seeing my hair in its natural state is still kind of weird.”
“I seriously doubt that Y/N was talking about your hair color, Yoongi,” Hoseok interjects, magically reappearing behind you when you don’t notice. You flinch in surprise, causing him to let out a hearty chuckle at your jumpiness. It seems that today is “Let’s scare the living shit out of Y/N” day with how many people have crept up on you in just one night.
Beside him, Seokjin looks like a bomb ready to explode, his fist jammed up his mouth to keep his guffaws from slipping out. “God, this is even better than the cringe compilations I watch on Youtube,” he wheezes, wiping a stray tear.
“Don’t be so mean to them, hyung! Don’t mind him,” Hoseok says to you, bowing apologetically. He smiles cherubically at Yoongi. “See, Yoongi? I told you that Y/N is even hotter up close!”
“God, fucking kill me,” you hear Yoongi groan.
“So, have you guys caught up yet, or have you just been fumbling around each other like a couple of horny teenagers?” Seokjin snickers, narrowly avoiding your heel stomping his foot.
“We’ve only just said hello. Leave us alone, jackass,” you huff.
“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Well, Hoseok and I can go on our merry ways if you wish—”
“Yoongi! Did you tell Y/N about your work back in Seoul? I bet she’d love to hear about it,” Hoseok interrupts smoothly, saving you from further embarrassment (courtesy of his infuriating goblin of a boyfriend.)
You blink in surprise, turning to the man in question. “You live in Seoul now? Did you move there after finishing university?” you ask.
“Well,” Yoongi starts, clearing his throat. He’s permanently pink at this point, not that you mind in the slightest. He always did have the cutest blush (and once upon a time, you used to love teasing him about it.) “I sort of dropped out of university early. Decided it wasn’t really my thing, you know?”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Yoongi. You were a fantastic student. I’m sure Y/N remembers how smart you are,” Hoseok says, winking inconspicuously at you.
You force out a laugh in response. You know perfectly well what he was trying to do; Hoseok isn’t slick in the slightest, though you do admit that you are intrigued to find out what Yoongi had done over the years.
It isn’t like you haven’t been keeping tabs on him. In your defense, it’s hard to stay away from news about Yoongi when he’s such a big deal. So what if you’ve watched a couple of his interviews and streamed all of his songs? He’s always been talented with music, and all the radio shows seem to agree. You couldn’t get away from him if you tried (and it’s not like you were trying very hard, anyway.)
Yoongi shrugs, rubbing his neck bashfully. “E-either way, I decided to tough it out, you know? Follow my dreams and all that, even if it nearly killed me.”
“And now, he’s working in a famous idol company as one of their head producers,” Hoseok finishes for him, chest puffing up in pride. He slaps his best friend on the back, not noticing that he had inadvertently caused Yoongi's spine to cave in from his strength. “Yoongi is so cool, and humble too! He’s been working behind the scenes for a bunch of big names and never got greedy for attention even though he totally deserves it.”
“Damn, so no street cred? Bit schewpid, innit? Imagine all the chicks you could’ve landed, bruv!” Seokjin says, imitating a terrible British accent. You make a move to hit him in the groin, but for once, Hoseok beats you to the punch.
“Nope! Yoongi-chi is super single, aren’t you?” Hoseok says with a sweet grin, ignoring the pained groans of his lover on the floor.
“No need to rub it in, Seok-ah,” Yoongi grumbles defensively. He coughs into his fist, grinding his foot into the floor. He throws a glance your way. “Just been… too busy, I guess.”
From the floor, Seokjin holds up a hand, grasping at Hoseok’s pant leg to hoist himself up. “What a coincidence. Y/N is super single too. In fact, her pussy is so dry that there’d be no chance for any yeast infections to develop—WAIT, DON’T HIT ME AGAIN I PROMISE I’LL BEHAVE!” Seokjin is on his knees, holding his arms up in surrender as Hoseok’s boot is about to connect with his stomach.
“I know I said I was into BDSM, but not like this!” Seokjin says, faking a sob.
“Then behave, darling,” Hoseok replies, eyes lighting dangerously. When he returns his attention to you, you and Yoongi back away instinctively. “Sorry about him. We have an… arrangement,” he says, waving his hands vaguely.
“Understood,” you both say, not understanding but also not wanting to.
Seokjin manages to straighten up eventually, his skin slightly paler than it was before. “A-as I was saying,” he exhales, still gingerly cupping his crotch. “Y/N has been single for so long, but I don’t blame her. Not after that awful disaster of a boyfriend, right? God, Sungjae fucking sucked ass, and not even in the sexy way.”
“Um, yeah…” you say hesitantly, avoiding eye contact. You can feel Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s eyes trained on you, but you’re not confident enough to know that you can keep your face neutral.
With your gaze averted, you don’t notice the way Yoongi’s posture tenses. “Is that so,” he says carefully.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Hoseok says. You can hear the genuine sadness in his tone, and you chance a peek at him. He pats your shoulder gently, giving you a soft smile. “Honestly, I feel you. I’ve definitely been there, done that. That’s why I’m grateful for Seokjin-hyung, believe it or not. He’s been really good for me.”
“Hah, I told you I’m a good person!” Seokjin says. Again, he goes ignored.
“It’s fine. It’s all water under the bridge,” you say, shrugging. You can still feel Yoongi’s persistent gaze on the side of your head like a brand. You’re kind of afraid to see what sort of expression he has despite the curiosity burning inside of you.
You are still in the middle of debating if it’s worth explaining or not (and to a lesser extent, why you feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone), everyone’s attention is caught by the onslaught of waiters bringing in a fresh batch of food to the buffet. Your stomach growls in response, and you are reminded of the fact that you haven’t eaten since breakfast in preparation for tonight’s event.
“Hold that thought, Y/N,” Hoseok says, holding up a finger. “Hyung! I saw a platter of tuna belly and I know that shit is gonna disappear in two seconds. Let’s head out!” He tugs Seokjin in a hurry, the elder’s gangly legs flying about as he trips over himself to keep up. Seokjin yelps and hollers for him to slow down, but the hangry Hoseok train stops for no one. They run off, leaving Hoseok-and-Seokjin-shaped dust clouds in their wakes.
“Wow,” Yoongi says, dumbfounded. “Did we just get ditched by our two self-proclaimed best friends in the world?”
You nod, equally dumbfounded. “I guess we did.”
He shakes his head. “Fucking traitors.”
And just like that, the conversation dies.
Without your friends acting as buffers, the pair of you return to your painfully awkward states. You rack your brain for a conversation topic, anything to keep the tension at bay. You don’t feel nearly comfortable enough to ask him about his love life, even though you want nothing more than to shake the details right out of him. For perfectly sane reasons, of course.
Lucky for you, Yoongi thinks of a solution. “Um, I guess we should go grab our food as well? I’m assuming we’ll be sitting together since our friends are... you know. Unless you don’t want to, then that’s also perfectly fine with me. I can find somewhere else to sit.”
“I’d love to sit with you,” you say, cringing at your choice of words. Love to? What are you, desperate?! your brain screeches at you, and you mentally beat yourself in the coochie.
Deep down, you know that you’re overreacting, but you can’t help acting like a blushy teenager talking to your crush when you’re around Yoongi. It’s almost as if you’ve reverted to your high school days, back when you’d both started to notice your feelings for each other and the steady flow of butterflies erupting in your stomach had felt less like a burden and more like a revelation.
After tossing your disgusting drink into a nearby bin, you and Yoongi line up behind the rest of your classmates for the buffet, the scene reminiscent of having lunch at your old high school cafeteria. You’re still mildly distracted by Yoongi’s proximity, not looking at what food you were getting and randomly scooping and hoping you don’t dislike all of them.
From the corner of your eye, you notice that Yoongi’s plate is steadily piling up, probably with enough food to feed two people. You’ve never known Yoongi to be much of a heavy eater, but you suppose that free food is still free food at the end of the day.
“So,” Yoongi says after a beat. He pulls you from your trance, and you catch the small smile on his face that tells you that he figured you had been distracted. “How is Jungkook, by the way? He graduated from university a year ago or something, right?”
You pause, your hand stilling on the metal tongs. “How did you know he graduated last year?”
He shrugs. “Well, assuming that he didn’t take any gap years, I did the math and figured he should be at the age where he’s looking for a job.” He turns to you with a sly grin. “Plus, I’m still his friend on Facebook.”
“That’s surprising,” you comment. You backtrack a little, “And I mean it’s surprising in the sense that… All his posts are reshares from dank meme pages and I thought you wouldn’t be into that.”
Yoongi laughs. “I’m not. But… it’s nice to know how things are back home, I guess.”
Do you wonder about me, too? you think, but you internally shake your head. But why would he? He doesn’t owe you anything.
“And your dad? I heard he got hip surgery last fall,” Yoongi says.
“Wait, Jungkook has been posting about our dad’s surgery on his Facebook?”
“Oh! No, not exactly.” Yoongi clears his throat, suddenly nervous. He heaps a big portion of kimchi, some of it staining his sleeve. “I… called him a few days ago, to catch up.”
You’re staring at him, and you dimly register the people lined up behind you huffing impatiently. “You… called him? You have his cell number, too?”
“No, I just… happen to still have your home telephone number memorized and hoped that you guys hadn’t moved,” he says, a little guiltily.
You’re silent for a moment, thoughtlessly scooping more bean sprouts onto your plate than any sane person would be comfortable eating. The two of you inch along the buffet display as you attempt to process his sudden confession.
On one hand, you’re slightly betrayed that your own brother hadn’t thought to mention that your ex had called him, but on the other hand, what would you have done if he did? Ask if you could say hello? The Y/N from last month probably would have laughed if she had known that Min Yoongi still cared enough to call and check on her family, much less have her landline memorized even after all these years.
He still cared.
Unbeknownst to everyone in the room, your heart skips a beat at the thought. You cradle a hand to your chest, urging your nerves to quell. Keep it together, you beg your stupid, naive heart. You can survive one night without falling in love again, can’t you?
...can you?
“I…” you stammer. You swallow thickly, desperate for something to say, anything to stop your mind from going in the wrong direction. “They miss you, you know? You have no idea how many times my parents ask if you’re coming home for Christmas, or—I don’t know.”
“Yeah, my parents are the same. They always wanna know if I’m coming home for the holidays, and they,” he hesitates, swallowing thickly, “They always ask about you, too.”
Oh.
“Oh,” you mutter lamely. Your cheeks feel like they’ve been lit on fire the moment you got here, and you haven’t even visited the bar yet.
You finally make it to the end of the long buffet table where there is a large chocolate fountain just begging for you to ravage if only your stomach wasn’t besieged by butterflies. Yoongi glances at you, his own hands too full to get any desserts, but he still pauses as if he’s waiting for you. When you make it apparent you aren’t interested in the mouthwatering cakes and pastries (a big fat lie, but you also don’t want to vomit in front of him and your hundreds of schoolmates), he raises a brow as though he’s surprised.
“What? I’m not that much of a sweet tooth,” you scoff.
“This is coming from the girl who broke into her little brother’s piggy bank to buy some ice cream from a passing street vendor?” he teases.
“That’s the old me. Now, I make enough money to buy my own sweets,” you say smugly.
He rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say.” If you didn’t know any better, you might have thought he looked endeared.
The pair of you search for Hoseok and Seokjin, only to find that the couple had somehow found a table for all of you somewhere near the back. With one last longing glance at the wondrous chocolate fountain, you walk away with Yoongi in tow. You have to push through throngs of people, a few old familiar faces stopping to say hello before they notice the precarious situation on Yoongi’s plate and let you through. You wave at them, promising to greet them later before turning to Yoongi.
“Isn’t it kind of weird to see all these people again? Not gonna lie, it’s almost hard to recognize a few of them.” You note some of the crazy hair colors and drastic fashion choices that you never thought you’d see a decade ago. An even stranger sight, however, is the occasional schoolmates with little ones attached to their hips. You recognize one of the new parents, your mouth dropping in shock.
“Wait, is that Seulgi? And is that her—”
“Her son? Jesus Christ,” Yoongi mutters, equally as bewildered as you. “Damn, I did not expect her of all people to be one of the first to have a kid. I’d always thought it’d be Sooyoung.”
You nod in agreement. You observe the little boy tug roughly at her skirt, his tiny fists making grabbing motions at the cookies on her plate. “Yeah. I always thought I’d have a kid before Seulgi, at least. What a surprise.”
You speak before you think, and it takes longer than it should have for you to realize your mistake. By then, Yoongi’s expression had already morphed into astonishment, his eyes bugging out as he chokes on his spit.
Your cheeks are burning, your mouth opening and closing as pure panic seizes you. You cannot believe that you just said that! No fucking way! Did you eat lube this morning or something? Why are words just spilling out of your mouth at an unprecedented rate?! You’re begging your brain to come up with something, anything, to control the damage, but alas your thoughts remain resolutely frozen.
If aliens were to choose to study the human race right now, they’d be sorely disappointed to find the lack of intelligent lifeforms. No complex thoughts going on over here! Not one goddamn neuron firing in this bitch!
“O-oh, well, that’s…” he trails off. He clears his throat, his jaw clenched as he awkwardly tries to feign composure. “I didn’t know you were, um, interested? Well, n-not that I think you were averse to the idea of having kids, since I remember you mentioning it when we were, um,” he pauses, struggling to find a word other than dating, or together, or in love, or not painstakingly careful around each other, like every conversation topic was a fucking minefield.
“Younger?” you supply. A safe, neutral word. Yay for you! You deserve a snack from your animal care keeper right about now.
“Right,” he nods. He looks down at his shoes, revealing his flushed neck. He’s frustratingly adorable like this, but it does nothing except distract you. “Were you, um, planning on having a kid with your ex-boyfriend? Before you broke up?”
Ex-boyfriend? Why is he bringing him up all of a sudden? You stare at him in confusion for half a second before realization strikes you. Thankfully (or unthankfully), it seems that Yoongi misunderstands the implication behind your words and has taken your little slip-up the wrong way. For once, you are so thankful that Yoongi almost failed Math during the 10th grade and never learned to put two and two together.
“Definitely not,” you bark out a laugh, but it sounds incredibly forced, even to your own ears. You stare at the plate of food in your hands, a wave of unpleasant memories washing over you. “I doubt he’d ever want kids, anyway. Seokjin used to make fun of him and call him the world’s biggest toddler.”
Yoongi winces, his brow furrowing. “How long were you together?”
“Like, two years?” You shrug. “It felt longer, to be honest. Even if we dated for so long, I could never imagine myself having a family with him,” you say.
It was almost the truth, but not quite. While your ex-boyfriend had undoubtedly been a pain in your ass, he wasn’t completely bad, especially in the beginning. You had enough self-respect that you would have ended the relationship earlier if he didn’t have any redeeming qualities. The main problem was that he had a tough act to follow, and you don’t think any man on earth would be able to live up to your lofty expectations at this point, not when you’d constantly be comparing everyone to—
Yoongi speaks up again. “Seokjin seems to really dislike him. Was he really that bad?”
“Seokjin has never really liked any of my past flings,” you admit, rolling your eyes. (You fail to mention that Yoongi has always been the only exception.) “Despite his own disgustingly high body count, I can’t say he was wrong. Sungjae was a self-centered prick who never gave me the time of day. Hell, I was almost thankful when I caught him cheating. It was the final push I needed.”
Even though it’s been so long, the pain of seeing your ex-boyfriend locking lips with a stranger he had randomly picked up from the street still throbs inside of you. It wasn’t like you were particularly sad or surprised to find out, but you’d always been a bit sensitive to people who kept secrets from you. Plus, it kinda sucked to know that they had fucked on your favorite Egyptian cotton sheets.
“Fucking bastard. If I ever saw him in person, I’d definitely kick his nuts ‘til he’s left with a concave crotch,” he seethes, eyes narrowing.
You laugh. You have to confess that the mental image is satisfying. “You don’t even know what he looks like though!”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m sure Seokjin would tell me if I asked,” he huffs. He mutters something else after, but his volume drops to a whisper and you have to step closer to properly hear him.
“What? Sorry, I missed that,” you say, but you could have sworn he said something like “I wouldn’t have done that if it were me” but you couldn’t be completely sure.
“N-nothing,” he stutters, waving off your confusion. He tacks on a smile, but you can tell that he must have been embarrassed by whatever he’d said. If it was anything like what you thought he’d said, then you could understand. It wasn’t like he was wrong, anyway.
He makes a move to rub the back of his neck, but he greatly underestimates the weight of his platter and nearly drops everything. Something deep inside of you kicks in, and your body instinctively moves to hold his plate with your free hand, saving him from a very messy situation. However, that also means that your hands are now touching each other, your fingertips grazing his knuckles.
Instead of letting him go like a normal person, your ape brain makes the first move (as per usual).
“Your hands are still cold,” you say dumbly. You had wanted to say more, like “your hands are still as cold as they were from when we were younger,” but bringing up your past together, even for something so harmless, still feels taboo. You keep your hands where they are, your eyes locked on his. It feels like you’re in the middle of a dramatic TV show while I Will Go To You by Ailee plays in the background. You can almost imagine the numerous ads for random Korean cosmetic products framing the two of you in slow motion.
Yoongi chuckles, reluctantly pulling away from you. You already miss the sensation of his skin on yours. “I guess some things never change, huh?” he says, wavering slightly. He stares at you for another moment before shaking his head, as though he’s pushing away some unwelcome thoughts. He turns away, leaving you behind to make his way to your table.
Despite the unbidden emotions bubbling up your throat and threatening to spill over, you have no choice but to follow.
At the table, Seokjin and Hoseok speak mutely with each other, though the exaggerated expressions on both their faces tell you that they had been in the middle of an argument. When Yoongi takes his place beside Hoseok, the couple pauses in their bickering to greet you.
Hoseok looks at Yoongi’s overflowing plate. “Dude. I know I teased you about being a skinny twig a while ago, but I wasn’t implying that you gorge yourself.”
Yoongi jolts in surprise before staring back at his plate. Weirdly enough, he looks just as shocked as Hoseok to find the amount of food he had gotten, as though he hadn’t even noticed.
Perhaps he was just as distracted as you had been? you think, staring at your own meager pickings. Oops, you definitely didn’t get enough food to fill your ravenous appetite.
“That’s fine. I can share with you guys,” Yoongi says.
Seokjin peers at your plate, smirking knowingly. “Oh, yes. I’m sure Y/N would love to get some of your food. It seems like the two of you either over or underestimated how much you’d eat.”
“Aww, cute!” Hoseok coos, pinching Yoongi’s cheek. “You still have the habit of getting food for her. That’s so sweet that you still remember that about her!”
You had been in the middle of taking a swig of your water, but Hoseok’s comment nearly causes it to spew out from your nose. You cough harshly, beating your chest as your nose burns, among other things.
“Hoseok!” Yoongi scolds. He hits his friend on the shoulder, but Hoseok’s giggles refuse to stop.
“Oh shit, you’re totally right! Remember all those times when either one of us was forced to third-wheel with them?” Seokjin guffaws. “Y/N always orders something gross whenever we eat out together, and Yoongi ends up having to share half of his food with her when she starts moping.”
“I did not mope!” you retort vehemently.
“You kind of did,” Yoongi mutters under his breath, but you catch him this time.
You cross your arms, scowling. “Did not!”
Yoongi covers his mouth to fake a cough, but you can tell he’s smiling from how his eyes start to crinkle.
“You guys are so cute,” Hoseok sighs, squeezing Yoongi into a hug. Yoongi paws at him weakly, but you know that he enjoys skinship too much to push his friend away. Still, he pouts cutely, his cheeks puffing up like a pastry.
“Anyway, why were you guys arguing a while ago?” Yoongi asks, changing the subject. “Seokjin-hyung is kinda red in the face.”
“Oh, we weren’t really arguing. Hyung had gotten some wine from the bar but he forgot to get me some,” Hoseok says. He glares sharply at Seokjin. “Bastard.”
“You just said we weren’t fighting!” Seokjin whines. He stands up, raising his arms in surrender. “But fine! I’ll go get your damn wine,” he sulks, groaning when he stretches his back and a few worrisome pops resound from his joints.
“Damn, hyung. I know I told you that I hope you grow up well when we were kids, but I didn’t think you’d take it that literally,” Yoongi jokes, earning a sharp laugh from you. Yoongi glances at you then, visibly proud when he catches the wide grin on your face.
Seokjin gasps, offended. “I am not old! I’m literally a year older than you guys! And here I was, about to get you both drinks as well! It sucks to be the nice one in a friend group,” he sniffs.
“Yes, we are eternally grateful for your service,” Hoseok says sarcastically. “Oh, and remember to get some drinks for Y/N and Yoongi-chi too!” Hoseok adds, slamming his palm on Seokjin’s sore back.
Seokjin yelps, before biting his lip. “Owwie, that hurt,” he moans, winking salaciously.
As the closest person to him, you make it your right to jam your heeled foot onto his gelatinous and push away with a shout of disgust. “Leave, wench!” you snarl, but you’re unfortunately drowned out by his cackling. Even so, he does make his leave, affording your table some level of peace.
“So,” Hoseok starts, a twinkle of mischief in his eye. He cradles his chin with his hands, smiling innocuously at the two of you. “How’s it goin’? Are you both having fun?” he says, laced with meaning.
Ah, you had forgotten; peace was never an option.
Though he is undoubtedly less annoying than Seokjin, you still don’t trust the way he’s staring at you, like he’s waiting for one of you to jump into the other’s lap and recreate his favorite porn scene.
(A terrible thought to have, especially when you’d probably be as begrudging as you should be if you were swayed sufficiently.)
“It’s going fine, thank you very much,” Yoongi responds, giving his best friend a stern look.
You nod wordlessly, unable to trust yourself to keep from stammering and making your frayed nerves apparent (if they aren’t already.) You grab your glass and busy yourself with your drink to delay answering.
You don’t notice that you had taken Yoongi’s cup by accident until you’ve already gulped a third of his water, dropping it with a loud clunk. “Oh shit, sorry! I didn’t mean to drink from yours,” you say sheepishly.
Yoongi smiles at your concern. “No worries. It’s just a cup.”
“Sharing cups too? Damn, what happened while Seokjin and I were away?” Hoseok laughs. Yoongi flicks him lightly on the wrist in retaliation.
“It’s just a cup,” he repeats before turning to you. “Sorry, I think he’s a bit drunk.”
“Haven’t had a single drop of alcohol but whatever,” Hoseok says, shoveling a large piece of tuna belly into his mouth.
The sight of him eating reminds you of your own hunger, your food slightly colder now after talking to Yoongi and your friends for so long. You take a spoonful of chicken, the taste not terrible but not as good as you would like. Your face must give your disappointment away because you hear Yoongi chuckling beside you.
“Bad food again? Guess you really are the same,” Yoongi says, low enough that Hoseok wouldn’t hear. He pushes his plate towards you, carefully nudging some of his bulgogi onto yours. “This tastes kind of sweet, so I’m not really into it. But you prefer it sweeter right?”
All you can do is nod in agreement, watching as he piles your plate with his food. His sleeves, which had already been stained previously by some stray bits of kimchi, become even more saturated with sauces and oils. Now that you see it up close, his sleeves seem a bit too long for him, his palms half covered like sweater paws.
Without thinking too hard, you place your hands over Yoongi’s wrists, his entire body freezing as he waits for what you will do. Gently, as though you’re approaching a frightened kitten, you fold his sleeves until they’re no longer dangling into his food. The gesture is more intimate than you had intended, his proximity allowing you to smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne.
Paco Rabanne, your mind reminds you. Of course.
You pull away, trying your best to appear as unfazed as possible. You clench your hands and dig your nails into your skin to keep them from trembling. “If I’m the same, you’re no better. You always used to forget to pull back your sleeves before eating.”
After a beat, Yoongi returns from his stupor, licking his lips. “My hands were cold,” he explains.
“I know.” You lick your lips too, suddenly parched despite all the water you have drunk.
A forgotten treasure trove of memories resurrects inside of you, things that you had thought had been buried too deep for you to find again. You are filled with this odd feeling, an awareness. An old wound has resurfaced, one that you thought had healed long ago.
That wound throbs, still.
It’s so strange, being with him like this. A piece of your past that has come to your present, both the same and different as you remember. He knows parts of you that no one else will, as do you with him. But those parts were only ever supposed to stay buried: memories, after all, aren’t supposed to be tangible.
And yet, here he stands: real, alive, close.
It leaves you feeling emptier than before.
The atmosphere grows somber after that, neither of you offering much to the conversation. Hoseok is more than happy to pick up the slack, filling the stark silence along with the occasional hums from Yoongi. When Seokjin returns, he makes no note of the change in mood and focuses more on eating and talking with his partner. It allows the two of you to remain deep in thought.
You are pushing your remaining bits of food around your plate when the soft instrumental music playing on the overhead speaker stops abruptly, and the sound of a microphone being tapped prompts everyone to turn to the front of the ballroom. The host of the event announces that the next part of the reunion will begin shortly and encourages all the performers to head to the sound booth to prepare. A couple of your schoolmates rise from their seats, most of whom were the students you remembered being part of choir or band.
You half-expect Yoongi to stand up as well, but he stays rooted to the spot. Apparently, Hoseok is wondering the same thing.
“Yoongi? Didn’t you say that the organizers asked you to perform some of your songs?” Hoseok questions.
“They did.”
“But?”
Yoongi brings his fingers to his teeth, biting on them anxiously. Your hand makes a move to pull them away, but you think better of it. No need to supply your friends with more teasing ammunition. “But I changed my mind last minute. I felt kind of embarrassed to be performing my own songs. I’m more of a producer, not a performer.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Yoongi. You’re poggers, as the kids like to say,” Seokjin pipes up.
“I wouldn’t put it like that, but he’s right. A lot of people like your music and think you’re a great performer,” you assure him. “And I like your music, too,” you add shyly.
Yoongi’s hand drops from his mouth, eyes glittering with disbelief. He looks like he wants to disagree with you, but eventually decides to just smile in gratitude. “I didn’t know you listened to my music,” he says quietly.
Before you can reply, Seokjin chooses to interrupt with his migraine-inducing cackle and ruin the moment (as he is prone to do.) “Oh bitch! If you only knew how much this girl loves your music. She even buys your physical CDs AND collects your photocards.”
“I do not!” You scream, flinging a piece of bread at his head. You refuse to peek at Yoongi.
“Don’t worry, Y/N! I collect his photocards too. Wanna trade sometime? I’m missing the one when he still had mint hair,” Hoseok giggles.
“Will the two of you stop? God, it’s like you both had been planning to embarrass us as much as possible,” Yoongi exclaims, incensed.
When neither of them responds, you and Yoongi whip your heads towards them only to find two self-satisfied, smirking shitheads.
“Why watch reality shows when you can make your own?” Seokjin says in lieu of an answer, pointing finger guns. He blows you a kiss with a wink.
You clutch your chest, pretending to wince in pain. “Augh! Poison damage!”
Seokjin scoffs. “Swagever, man. You’re just mad because you’re angry,” he retorts, sticking out his tongue.
While you were occupied bickering with Seokjin, you had not seen that one of your old schoolmates had invited herself to your table. She sandwiches herself in the space between you and Yoongi, bumping you roughly enough to topple you out of your chair.
“What the fuck?” you yelp in surprise, holding onto the table to balance yourself. After straightening back into your seat, you find that your view of the world has become obscured by asscheeks the size of beachballs.
“Hi Yoongi,” she purrs seductively. Or at least, what she thinks is seductive. To you, her voice sounds like nails grating on a chalkboard.
“Hello?” Yoongi says, but it comes out sounding more like a question. It’s clear that he doesn’t remember her name, as he searches your eyes for help. You shrug unhelpfully; you deleted almost all the names of everyone that you had gone to school with right after graduation. Besides, her horrendous plastic surgery makes it even twice as hard to discern her identity.
“Hi Hyejin,” Hoseok speaks up, answering your unspoken question. Oh, right. The name does ring a bell, somewhat. You don’t recall her looking like a cartoon character before, but you suppose beauty standards are meant to be subjective. Maybe she wanted to look like a One Piece character.
Hyejin purses her lips into a tight smile but doesn’t return his greeting. She turns back to Yoongi, bending forward until her boobs are practically smooshed against his face. You wonder idly if stabbing her chest with your chopsticks would cause them to burst like a balloon, or perhaps drain like a puss-filled pimple. Both, you surmise, would be very entertaining to watch.
“It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other, hm? I heard you’ve been very busy ever since we graduated from high school,” she says, batting her eyelashes.
“Uh, yeah? Some of us have jobs,” he says, passively dissing her. You let out a strangled laugh, causing Hyejin to aim a glare back at you. You bring your (his) cup of water to your lips, feigning innocence.
Hyejin rolls her eyes. “Right. But I meant that you’ve become a real star back in Seoul! I didn’t know you were such a musical prodigy!”
“I’m really not. I just work hard,” he shrugs. He’s visibly uncomfortable, especially since Hyejin was pretty much breathing the same air as him. Every time he leans away from her, she takes it as an invitation to come closer. He is nearly lying horizontally at this point, his back parallel with the floor.
“Humble as well as handsome? My, my. I didn’t think you’d be such a charmer,” she laughs, saccharine sweet. She twirls her dyed brown hair with her perfectly manicured acrylic nails. You rub at the goosebumps forming on your arms, cringing at the phantom sensation of her nails digging into your skin.
“Just spit it out. What the hell do you want so you can leave,” Seokjin interjects. Everything about his demeanor says calm and collected, but the way he presses his lips into a thin line says otherwise. You can sense the air dropping in temperature, despite the embers burning behind his eyes.
“I came over here to ask if Yoongi could give me his autograph, that’s all. I am his biggest fan, after all,” she sulks. She winks at him for extra measure. “And maybe his number too? I’d love to discuss your music with you sometime!”
“Oh, um. That’s—” he cuts off, hesitant to answer. He tugs at his ears nervously, exchanging subtly alarmed glances with you.
You remember that signal very distinctly; it’s a distress call that he would do whenever he needed a way out. He used to do it a lot when you were at social gatherings, especially when people would trap him in boring or awkward conversations. He never did like socializing with people outside his circle, but he was often dragged to parties by his more extroverted friends.
He might be hot as hell with his stylish clothes and jaw-dropping undercut, but he’s still awkward as hell around strangers. When the universe created him, they made sure to keep everything in balance. If they hadn’t been fair, you certainly would’ve died much earlier.
“Yoongi, don’t you have spare CDs of your music?” you quip, dragging Hyejin’s attention onto you. Her eyes narrow imperceptibly, suspicious.
“I do?” He stares at you blankly.
You resist hitting your forehead in exasperation. “Yes, Yoongi. Remember? You left a couple of them in my car.”
Yoongi’s eyes light up in understanding. “Oh, right! I left my CDs. In your car. That we drove here. Together. We came here. Together. Yes, correct.”
From your periphery, you can sense Hoseok barely holding onto his sanity after witnessing that pitiful display. Who can blame him when Yoongi’s infamously terrible acting skills are having their first appearance in over ten years? How he managed to pass Drama class is still a mystery to this day.
“Yup,” you say, popping your p. You give Hyejin a winsome smile, your hands folded neatly on your lap. You can almost see the steam blowing out of her ears. It fills you with delicious satisfaction. “Why don’t Yoongi and I go get them so he can sign one?”
If her eyes had been made of lasers, you’d be a cauterized mess jumble of organs by now. Can’t say you would regret it either way.
“How kind of you.” She sneers. “Also, I wasn’t aware that you two were still a thing.”
“I wasn’t aware that we were required to inform you of anything,” you retort placidly. You plaster on your fakest grin. “Now, if you can please move your fat ass—I mean, if you can please move out of the way so I can go to my car...” you trail off, gesturing for her to leave.
After a few more indignant sputters on her end, she eventually makes her exit. She throws a couple of poisonous glares, but they go largely ignored by you and your friends. With her gone, you feel as though you can finally breathe fresh air again.
“Great stuff, Y/N! Congrats on winning your first bitch-off,” Seokjin chirps, back to his usual self. You roll your eyes at his antics but smile nonetheless.
“Thanks. I learned from the best.”
Yoongi clears his throat. “So, are we still gonna go?” He looks back and forth from her to you. “Just so we can pretend you actually have my albums in your car?”
“Trust me, Yoongi-chi. She does have your albums in her car.” Seokjin titters. “I wasn’t kidding about the photocard collection.”
“Ignore him. And yes, I do have your albums. I listen to them in my car from time to time,” you say, attempting nonchalance. “I’d hate to give them away to that bitch, but if it keeps her away...”
Away from you is left unsaid, but it’s heavily implied.
(No, you aren’t jealous. You’re above jealousy. It’s not like that bitch would ever have a chance with him anyway, unlike you—!
Woah there, cowgirl. Let’s stay on the right path. Don’t want your heart getting chewed up and spat back out all over again, do you?)
“I’ll just mail you a new one. Signed, if you want. You can probably sell it on eBay or whatever.” He tries to say it like a joke, but his brow is too furrowed to be convincing. (You want to kiss him there and make it go away.)
You don’t trust yourself to speak, so all you do is nod mutely. You stand up and Yoongi follows suit.
“We’ll be right back. If she comes back before then, tell her to scram,” you tell Hoseok and Seokjin. They salute you in response (well, Hoseok does. Seokjin does a very rude gesture with his fingers that is supposed to mimic something explicit. Feel free to use your imagination.)
The walk to the parking lot is a quiet one. The two of you stay side by side, his strides naturally matching your own. Unlike before, you don’t feel the need to fill the silence for once, content to just be in each other’s presence.
The hotel that your reunion is being held at is unusually unpopulated. The lobby consists of a handful of employees milling about, a few of whom look ready to fall asleep on their feet. You nod politely at the bellboy who opens the main doors for you, declining his offer to call the valet service to fetch your car.
“Just hand me my keys. I’ll look for my car in the parking lot.” It wouldn’t be hard to find, anyway. Your beat-up Toyota Corolla looks as though it’s been through three wars and then some.
It isn’t long until you find it parked close to the entrance. You unlock your car from the passenger seat, shimmying the glove compartment open to reveal your collection of CDs.
“Wow, you weren’t lying when you said you listened to my music,” Yoongi says, voice loud amidst the tranquil night. It startles you, and you accidentally knock over some of the albums onto your car floor. On top of the pile lies Yoongi’s most recent album, the one you recall he had released a couple of months ago.
Strange, how just hours ago you were listening to his music on the way to the reunion, only for the boy on the cover of the album to be just inches away from you.
“Yeah, well. You’re a pretty good artist,” you say.
“Only pretty good?” he repeats, amused.
“Don’t push it,” you snort. You grab the album on top, waving it in front of him. “This should be good enough, right?”
He plucks it from your grasp, an unreadable expression clouding his eyes. He chuckles, but there’s an edge of sadness in his tone. “Good enough,” he agrees solemnly.
His sudden quietness is different from the peaceful one before. It’s sorrowful, maybe regretful. He looks like a man stuck in grief.
“Did you know that I didn’t finish this album before releasing it?”
The question seems a little out of the blue, but you answer regardless. “No, I didn’t. They don’t sound unfinished to me.”
“The songs themselves aren’t unfinished,” he explains. He turns the album over, his finger running down the back where the tracklist is printed. “One of my songs never made it in.”
“Couldn’t you have delayed the album launch so you could complete it?”
He shakes his head. “It was actually the first song I finished out of all of them.”
“Then..?”
“It didn’t matter, at the time. I wrote it for someone specifically, but I didn’t want to put it on the album if she—they didn’t listen to it. It wouldn’t matter if the whole world heard that song because only they would understand it.”
“But now? What changed?” Fear and hope run down your spine in tandem when the question tumbles out of you. You hold your breath, and the world shifts from its axis.
But he doesn’t elaborate further.
x x x x x
You return to the hotel after acquiring both an album and some more tension. The album feels heavy in your hands, weighed down by secrets you are still too afraid to uncover. Not that Yoongi would ever willingly divulge them to you—because revealing them would make them real, and making them real would mean you would have to accept them, and accepting them would cause you to—
“They’re gone,” Yoongi announces when you reenter the ballroom. You can’t spot your table from the entranceway, but the certainty in Yoongi’s tone makes you believe him.
“No fucking way. Did those two little shits ditch us to exchange body fluids or something?”
Yoongi grimaces. “Please don’t say it like that. It’s bad enough that I was sitting close enough to Hoseok a while ago that I got accidentally footsie’d by Seokjin hyung.”
You wince, placing a pitying hand on his shoulder. “God didn’t make us his strongest soldiers.”
Yoongi tries dialing Hoseok a few times, but none of the calls connect. “Just my rotten luck,” he groans. He types angrily into his phone, worry creasing his forehead. “He was supposed to be my ride back to his place.”
“Seokjin isn’t answering his phone either,” you say apologetically. “How much do you wanna bet this is part of their evil scheme to leave us together?”
“I don’t doubt it in the slightest,” he deadpans. He sighs tiredly, rubbing his temples. “I suppose I can take a taxi there, but I also don’t know if he’ll be home to open the door for me.”
“Then why don’t you just stay with me?”
You don’t know what you’re doing.
In your head, the offer makes sense. He’s just a friend, you remind yourself. Nothing is stopping you from rekindling a friendship with him. You have purely platonic intentions. Friends help each other out.
Never mind the fact that your heart hasn’t stopped fluttering the entire night. Never mind the fact that you’ve caught yourself staring at him just as many times as you’ve caught him staring at you. Never mind the fact that you don’t want the night to end, not now not ever.
(Never mind the fact that you’ve never quite stopped loving him.)
So when he accepts, you convince yourself that offering had been the right thing to do.
(Maybe. Hopefully. You just wish your heart doesn’t end up as collateral damage.)
The drive home is short, thanks to the late hour. You had asked him if he had wanted to stay until the end of the reunion, but he had declined. “Nothing else left for me there,” he says.
You feel as though he’s hinting at something. Your grip on the steering wheel tightens. “At least I get to keep my album.”
Yoongi laughs, short and sweet.
As much as you try to fight it, sitting in the car with him brings up a lot of memories.
The two of you in the backseat as his older brother drives you to his house for dinner, backpacks filled with crumpled notes and loose pens, a promise of an intense study session for your upcoming exams ready to be broken. You remember how the sky would turn orange in the afternoon, the warm light streaming through the car window and washing Yoongi’s skin with a soft glow.
His cheeks had looked inviting, his lips even more. And you would lean over, kissing him like it was easy. Because it was easy, and you never had to think twice about it.
Your trip down memory lane doesn’t end in the car. As you walk up the steps to your childhood home, you hesitate by the door, your keys frozen over the lock. You can hear Yoongi’s soft breathing behind you, but his presence doesn’t feel as stifling as you thought it would be.
You’re far from being at ease, but you aren’t frightened either. Mostly, you’re just filled with anticipation. Of what? You aren’t sure.
“Excuse the mess. Jungkook is in the middle of moving out so there’s just stuff everywhere,” you say just as you open the door. You toe off your shoes by the entrance, kicking them off haphazardly into the pile of sneakers and boots.
You hear Yoongi huff out a laugh behind you. “Aish, that kid. Still hasn’t let go of his Timbs, huh?”
“He has also been really into chunky sneakers these days. I think he’s finalizing his transformation into Thumper,” you joke. “He’s staying at his new apartment for the weekend with my parents, so you won’t be seeing them. They’re helping him settle in.”
“Really? He didn’t mention moving when we spoke. Where is he moving to?”
“Busan. He and his best friend from college are going to start a restaurant in his hometown. Which is funny, since neither of them are the best chefs.”
Yoongi whistles. “Still, that’s impressive. I can’t remove the image from my head of when he was a kid. He was so scared of anything. He wouldn’t let go of your mom’s leg even if his life depended on it.”
He steps deeper into the house, his gaze jumping from end to end as he surveys your childhood home. You watch him, noting how right he looks standing there in the middle of your living room, like a chipped painting that has been restored.
It’s scary, how easily you’ve accepted him back into this place.
He stays rooted to the spot, the moonlight filtering through the kitchen windows and illuminating his frame. The air pulses with something magical, something dream-like, and it muddles your vision. It’s the only explanation you have for why your chest tightens when he turns to face you, with a gaze filled with sadness, mourning, yearning.
“Jungkook’s height chart is still here,” he murmurs. The small nicks on the kitchen door frame are hard to see, and other people have mistaken them for signs of wear and tear. But he knows what they are because he was there when your mother had etched the first scratch.
He looks at your ancient dining table, his hand brushing over the surface. “This too,” he says, rubbing at a large burn mark on the wood.
“Mom made sure to use placemats after that. I didn’t think a sizzling plate would burn through the table like that,” you say, giggling as you reminisce. “You know, we still use your mom’s galbi jjim recipe. We haven’t found a better one.”
“I’m sure she would love to hear that,” Yoongi smiles, but it fades just as quickly. “It’s so… strange. Being here again and seeing that nothing really changed.”
But things did change. Upstairs, in your bedroom. That night, ten years ago.
You still remember what you had said to him, when you had said it to him, how you had said it to him.
It was a sunny afternoon, the time of day when you’d be on your way home from school. The two of you had stood in your room, neither of you wanting to sit because sitting meant staying, and staying only made this harder.
There hadn’t been many tears in that moment; those were shed only after the realization had sunk in, when you’d fully understood what had happened. At the time, the decision had been as easy as breathing.
Except you had both been drowning. The clock was ticking down to the end of high school, and the inevitable wasn’t slowing down.
Yoongi wanted to chase his dreams in Seoul. You wanted to stay closer to home, with your friends and family.
You weren’t going to be the one to hold him down. You weren’t going to be that person, not when he’s destined for greater things than his hometown could offer—not even a girl who loved him would be worth staying for.
He had suggested it, first. He had been prepared for you to cry, or maybe scream, but you did none of that. Instead, you pulled him close, hugging him tighter than you ever had before. You wanted to make it last, imprint the sensation onto your brain so that his warmth might stay with you, even after he’s little more than a distant memory. You trembled, terribly so, even though the beginnings of summer crept on your skin like a brand.
It’s time to let him go, Time whispered. You refused to listen, just for another moment.
Let me have this last moment, you beg. But Time refused to listen.
“Do you know?” Yoongi had spoken into your neck, had hoped his words would stain there. “Do you know how much I love you?”
Love, not loved. “I did,” you say. You think better of it. “I do.”
When you separated, for good this time, it had left an ache deeper than you could have ever imagined.
But you were young. Young love was supposed to hurt, but it wasn’t supposed to last. “You’ll find others,” your mother had said, brushing a soothing hand through your hair as you sobbed.
Then why? Then why has it lasted this long?
It has been a question you’ve asked yourself, and you’re starting to think that the answer has always been right in front of you.
The answer is standing in front of you: real, alive, close.
“Why didn’t you ever date again?” you ask. You ask even though you know he can lie, if he wants. He can tell you anything and you would believe him.
But he wouldn’t; you know he wouldn’t.
“I was afraid of closing a door that I never meant to close in the first place,” he says. His voice crackles like static, but that might be the blood rushing to your head. He moves toward you but keeps a hand’s width away. Still too far.
He continues. “After that day, when I left,” he swallows, “after I left, I think… I think I left a piece of me with you. A-and I don’t think I ever stopped…” he cuts off, exhaling shakily.
“Stopped what?” you breathe.
“You know.” He waves his hands around helplessly. They fall heavily back down to his sides, defeated. “You know?” he repeats.
You do. Because you are the same. The old wound had never healed; it burns and it bleeds like new.
Your skull feels like it’s stuffed with cotton when you close the distance between the two of you. He circles his arms around your waist, tentative, but he relaxes when you wind your arms around his neck. Your vision is warped, so you choose to close them. You wait, with bated breath, as his warmth inched closer and closer.
The sensation of his lips on yours jolts you back to your senses. His kiss reminds you of your youth, of a love that had made you excited to start your day. Even now, your body remembers, and it rejoices.
The tenderness does not last long before it turns fervent, tongue and teeth crashing like waves against the shore. If his kisses could speak, they would tell you stories of how much he missed you, of how much he mourned the time you had both lost. They would tell you of the days when he’d almost pressed your number onto his phone, of the nights when he’d stare at the polaroids he had kept of you.
They would ask if you still love him like he still loves you.
He tastes of desperation, and you are likely to be the same. It is a desperation you haven’t tasted in years—but it doesn’t feel scary like it used to. Time no longer feels like it’s racing against you, like you had something to prove before the hour was over. This reckless abandon feels like home against your skin—it is an ache being soothed after having ripped your scabs over and over again.
It’s Yoongi.
And when he pulls you to your room, he doesn’t even need his eyes to find his way as his feet still memorize the floorboards. He struggles with the doorknob, forgetting that it always jammed, but it’s okay because you can always teach him again. You can teach him everything again.
The bed creaks under your weights and even the mattress sounds like it is sighing in relief. That sigh echoes from your lips when his hand slips under your clothes, his palm stopping over your heart.
“I won’t break it, this time,” he says. He promises. “If you let me.”
You wonder if he can feel your heart soaring, pounding against your ribs. “I think the line has long been crossed to ask for my permission.” You place your hand over where his is laid. You squeeze tight.
This time, you don’t let him go.
#bangtanarmynet#armiesnet#btsbookclub#bts scenarios#yoongi x reader#bts x reader#bts reader insert#bts fanfiction#bts#bts imagines#bts fluff#high school!au#min yoongi#yoongi#suga#yoongi scenarios#suga scenarios#yoongi fluff#bts suga#bangtan#bts fanfic#FUCK ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE WRITTEN ANYTHING#PLS TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!! EX DEE#okay time to head to class sob
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Amphibia season 1 rewatch + notes :)
So I just finished rewatching the ENTIRE season 1 of Amphibia and I have some notes on the episodes that stood out to me! There are some quick notes, a couple lengthy analyses and even some headcanons sprinkled in! It's like a written stew of season 1! I'll be doing a written Amphiba stew for season 2 too!!
It's kinda long so you could just skip this or hit the keep reading button and give it a read!
S1: E2 Cane Crazy
Anne shows general disregard over other people's things
(Mimicking Hop Pop and breaking his cane, throwing all the wood carving things that Loggle made, even a coo coo clock that she even said was nice (And for him to say it took 20 years to make right after she broke it))
S1: E2 Flood, Sweat and Tears
Anne would be the WORST during sleepovers and I LOVE IT!!! My girl is just being a tween, staying up late, playing would you rather and keeping everyone else up. I think that's ADORABLE and now I'm thinking about how sleepovers might've been back home with her, Sasha and Marcy…
She also just stays up late in general?? She reads dumb magazines and eats CRUNCHY snacks. She is really just 13,,,
And it looks like Sprig does it too, not as much as Anne (probably because he is younger than her) but it seems like it has to be in his terms. Before, he looked to be annoyed with it when he was trying to sleep. But, if he was awake, like in the beginning or at the end of the episode, he had no problem staying up playing would you rather!!!
S1: E3 Hop Luck
Anne: Old things are dumb!
And
Anne:* violently GRABS Sprig and shoves him against the wall* don't you DARE talk about pineapple in my pizza… Ever…
Anne:
Sprig:
Anne: Okay! Let's go get these ingredients!
HHHH ANNE!!! I love this funky little child SO MUCH!!!
Hop Pop loves these kids so much that he was willing to put aside his old, traditional family recipes in exchange for making pizza with them. My heart is gonna explode I'm-
Anne please don't make your surrogate frog brother get married just to get some pizza dough I'M BEGGING YOU-
S1: E3 Stakeout
Hop Pop: I'm a crisp 68!
Is Hop Pop actually 68 or does he mean more of 68 going on 80 68? Either way he looks great!
Anne has Blam Berry Blitz ("the drink that punches you in the face and doesn't stop") in her bag along with all the OTHER stuff we already saw (air pump, toe nail clipper, pencils, cat toys, bath bombs, etc)
Anne is officially those friends that have EVERYTHING in their bag no matter what.
I really like the relationship between Anne and Hop Pop, how they both in some way yearn for what was but in different ways (Anne wanting to go home and Hop Pop's olden ways when he was a little pollywog) but are still similar in how they try to remember. They try and try and try to keep what little family/friends they have safe and protected. They love the relationships they've formed with other people (And with each other) and would go great lengths to help and protect them!
Also I MAY be looking way too into it buuuut was Boulder-Tron (that rock dude that Polly hallucinated at the end) supposed to foreshadow Frobo??
S1: E4 Taking Charge
Okay quick one, Anne nearly having a whole ass panic attack when her phone dies because she couldn't look at her photos or videos of home actually made me sad. This girl is only a CHILD and her entire home and everything is gone and she for real thought she couldn't ever get it back,,,
Hop Pop: I mean, the part where the island itself is revealed to actually be…!
Sprig: No!
Polly: Don't!
Anne: Spoilers
I dunno why and again, I MIGHT BE LOOKING TOO DEEPLY INTO THIS, but maybe this is foreshadowing something with the land of Amphibia? That maybe there is more to this crazy land than we know? Maybe even a reason it, along with all the other universes even exists???
S1: E5 Breakout Star
AHSBWJOA ONLY EPISODE 5 AND ANNE ALREADY HAS HER PHONE'S LOCK SCREEN OF THE PLANTER FAMILY I'M-
S1: E7 Dating Season
Anne said that ⅔ of ALL soul mates start out as "just friends"
…
I'm looking at you, team Sashannarcy
S1: E7 Anne vs. Wild
Hop Pop's behavior at the end of the episode when Anne finally shows them the calamity box is awfully sus…
He doesn't say anything but "may I?" To inspect the box and then is like "Nope, never seen it" I just feel like he knows something and then adding onto it with the whole burying it to protect his family just sounds like… he definitely knows something, maybe not a lot but there is something he's not telling the others
Also, why would a book that HE has have information on the Calamity box??
(I fully support the Dr. P was a Planter and also possibly the pink frog who was friends with King Andrias theory)
S1: E10 Toad Tax
At this point, Anne said that she has already been in Amphibia for over a month now.
(And damn, Sasha's been in prison for like a month,,, yikes)
Also Hop Pop teaching Anne how to pay taxes is so adorable, she really is part of this family now guys,,,
And I love how Anne was able to win over the Wartwood people by being her natural, charming and not to mention caring self. Anne, like Marcy and Sasha, can be selfish because honestly what kid, especially a 13 year old, isn't.
But what matters is that she always tries to make up for it.
Yes she did join the arguably sketchy toads into getting the taxes from everyone in order to feel somewhat included in ANYTHING, but while she was doing it, she knew it was wrong. Anne knew it was wrong and tried to give back some of the stolen stuff. Hell, even at the end she risked her safety to protect people she felt didn't even LIKE her, like, Anne literally broke her arm from them because that's just how Anne is.
S1: E10 Prison Break
I always forget how like,,, SUPER cunning Sasha is. I mean, she was able to talk FIVE toads into quitting within a WEEK as a PRISONER. Like??
Grime: That's not a bird. It's a heron, a murderous predator that happens to love the taste of flesh
Sasha: Cute
The lines in this show I'M-
So Anne was a varsity tennis player and Sasha was a cheerleader and did Tai Chi. I still can't believe they were both jocks,,,
(Well, Sasha I get but Anne? Sweet ol' lil baby with the lanky limbs Anne???)
Hey um, why the FUCK does Grime have acid spit?
Sasha: *looking at photo of her, Anne, and Marcy* Hold on for a little longer, girls. I'm coming for you. And when I find you, we're gonna get home. But first, I think we're gonna have some fun with this place
Okay so this line right here. Now I may not be even remotely correct but this line, this last piece of dialogue spoken by Sasha right before the episode ends leads me to believe that she… doesn't take this world seriously.
At least not yet.
I think the 3 girls all see Amphibia differently: Anne as more of an obstacle, a wall preventing her from being home, Marcy sees it as an escape from her life with constant stimuli, and Sasha, she sees it as just really another thing to control. Everyone and their mothers know that Sasha can be a little more than controlling and we all know that she liked being lieutenant just a little too much.
This world is interesting to Sasha, not in the interesting that Anne sees it (who is interesting in the new people and the relationships she's formed) or Marcy (who is also interested in the relationships she's formed along with the thirst for knowledge and again, the constant stimuli in an environment where she isn't stifled and allowed to flourish).
No, Sasha sees Amphibia as interesting because it gives her something to control. In a world that is not your own, a world that you will leave eventually, who would actually FOLLOW the rules put in place there? Especially a 13 year old who is basically like a war commander who, even if she does do something wrong or breaks a rule or two, the only person who might even dare to stop her is Grime, and even then, he might just encourage it because it is season 1 and they aren't that close and he doesn't really care for Sasha at this point.
She also is actually very logical. Everything she does in Amphibia, all the morally questionable things she does, it is always for the same reason (or at least at first), to get her and her girls home. Wanting to sacrifice and kill Hop Pop at the end of season 1? Well The toads had promised if she helped, they'll help her find Marcy and bring the 3 of them home. She cares for Anne and Marcy SO MUCH that she is willing to go great lengths to help keep them safe.
But even though Sasha didn't really care about anyone in Amphibia besides Anne and Marcy at first, it doesn't mean she won't ever. We see countless times throughout season 2 of Sasha caring. She feels regret with her impending betrayal on Anne and Marcy, she cares enough to try and warn Anne about King Andrias' evil plans. Hell, even in the season 3 intro we see her and Grime at Wartwood and it looks like they're gonna be starting another rebellion against the king to help all the amphibians in Amphibia.
I just really like watching Sasha's appearance and knowing what will happen in the future with her character.
S1: E13 Trip to the Archives
Anne: I get this place. It's like a library from my world. Zoo books and manga, here I come!
So whenever Anne goes to the library, presumably with Sasha and Marcy, she'd go straight to books on animals and manga probably while Marcy did whatever work they needed (if Anne's dialogue in season 2 with Marcy always doing the work for their group projects was anything to go off on)
I dunno, I think that's kinda cute that Anne liked reading books on animals and probably reading all the manga that Marcy recommended.
Maybe Anne and Sasha would sit right next to each other while Marcy worked and read fun manga together and cackle with each other while Marcy tried SO HARD to concentrate and NOT infodump to them because she's read that specific manga 20 times and HAVE YOU GOTTEN TO THAT ONE PART WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER GOES-
S1: E15 Wally and Anne
MOSS MAN!!
When Anne wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to grab Wally at town square, her hood is up and it's dark. The only thing we can make out of her face are…
Glowing blue eyes.
Glowing eyes that share an uncanny resemblance to the moss men.
And Anne loves doing elaborate, silly handshakes? That's so CUTE! Too bad none of her friends liked them as much as she did :(
When they finally reached the foggy mountain place, Anne noticed glowing blue butterflies and started to follow them, which led her right to the moss man.
WAIT ANNE ALSO DID ROCK CLIMBING BACK HOME?? FUCKING JOCK!!!
S1 E20 Reunion
Okay I WAS about to say that there wasn't anything to say about this last episode that hasn't already been said before BUT
The last couple moments, when Anne is holding Sasha off the cliff and trying to pull her up with the Planters, there's a couple interesting shots that I would like to talk about.
While the Planters were holding onto Anne, they say things like "Hang on, Anne! We got you no matter what!"
And even when the stone cliff starts to chip and break, none of the frogs back off, they don't loosen their grips, they just keep holding onto Anne.
And they will never let go.
Because they love her. Because in only 3 months, Anne was able to get a surrogate frog family and dozens of other frog friends in Wortwood. Because Anne has this amazing support system both literally and metaphorically. Because Anne is Anne. And Sasha...
Isn't like Anne.
Matt Bradly himself even said that both Sasha and Anne are different from Anne, Anne is the heart, the emotional connection in their logical worlds. Anne can make so many friends so easily and Sasha… Sasha became a war genral, she lost a fight against the one person who she thought would never fight back.
Sasha doesn't have what Anne has. She doesn't have the kind of skills to make such strong relationships, the kind where you risk your life for the other, in such a short amount of time.
Hell, they even play a song called "Lean on Me", Anne has people to lean on and they would lean on her just the same. She found these people, made these friends, formed amazing relationships, in only THREE months.
"Maybe you're better off without me"
And Sasha was only dragging her down.
Sasha loves Anne, she cares for her and would do anything to protect her. That's why she let go. She didn't want to drag Anne down, to hurt her more than she already has.
Sasha would do anything for Anne, even die.
Over all notes:
Season 1 is SUPER FUNNY!! The lines hit and they don't rely on toilet humor to get the audience to laugh. They use great one liners and physical humor that isn't fart or butt jokes. They do an excellent job on showing how crazy the world of Amphibia is through humor like how the animals are always eating each other.
I really like how the characters were crafted so carefully! And the storyline!!! You could notice things that get explored in season 2 and I can't WAIT to see how many bread crumbs were left to lead up to season 3!
HOW DOES ANNE KEEP SO MANY THINGS IN HER BOOK BAG???
That stuff is in her SCHOOL BAG, why would she bring it to school??? So far I've got an air pump, toe nail clippers, pencils, cat toys, bath bombs and an energy drink. WHY??? I wonder if she held on to any of Sasha or Marcy's things too or ever forgot to give them back
Also again, I'M STILL IN SHOCK OF ANNE BEING A JOCK. I don't even know why I am, I knew she played sports and stuff it's just,,, she's so lanky,,,
Her and Sasha are jock buddies and WILL shove other jocks in lockers if they ever pick on their nerd Marcy.
I also am in LOVE with Hop Pop's screams lmao
Be ready for an analysis of season 2!
#amphibia#anne boonchuy#hopadiah plantar#hop pop#sprig planter#polly planter#sasha waybright#Marcy wu#season 1#analysis#my ramblings
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Neighbor next door
pairing: Wonwoo x reader
genre: angst to fluff, Neighbors!au, nonidol!Au
type: oneshot
summary: Falling in love with your neighbour best friend
You heaved the heavy box filled with stuff back at your apartment and entered the apartment building yet again. Probably for the 6th time now. You wiped off the sweat that was forming near your forehead and making the hair stick to your face. Even with the aircon from the lift system blasting you, you were still feeling extremely hot and stuffy.
It was an extremely hot day however, you were still very excited to move into your new apartment and meet your new neighbors. You were told from the nice old landlady that the people here were of different variations. Some were working, students like you or parents with newborns or children. It was a way better environment as compared to your old apartment.
At the old district there was hardly any conversations or interactions between you and your neighbors. You clearly remembered the only interaction you had with one of the neighbors, a floor above you, to keep it down. Even though you weren't making any noise. He was a grumpy looking elderly, and he looked at you with such a aggressive look.
You looked at him strangely but apologized anyhow, wanting so badly to return to the book you were then reading. It was getting to the very best part where the charismatic male character was going to kiss the protagonist and confess to her under the mistletoe, on a cold yet beautiful winter night.
You kicked your front door with one hand balancing on the box and the other supporting the weight of the door. You placed the box on the floor where it remained with many other cardboard boxes filled completely with all your belongings.
You sighed out and proceeded to tie your hair up into a messy bun to keep it from sticking onto your face. i just have two more boxes, then i can start unboxing....god there is so much to do, you thought to yourself as you sat on the end of the sofa, taking a short break before leaving for those two boxes again.
Yes it was definitely tiring, but you still smiled to yourself as you thought about the new encounters and relationships that might form in this new building. You took a sip of your opened can of soda that was still cool and sighed out in satisfaction, as the cool liquid helped cool you down for a second and satisfy your thirst.
You smiled brightly and greeted the neighbors that you came across while moving the boxes. They were all very friendly and open in welcoming you, you made note to bake them some of your special cookies later on to thank them.
Wonwoo was just returning from the nearby convenience store, sucking on a cold soda-flavored ice popsicle. Under the sweltering heat and bright sun, this was what he needed. He was nearing the apartment building when he saw you. He didn't recognize you at all, and he was sure he recalled everyone’s faces. You were struggling with a heavier box, and he remembered the landlady coming over previously with a box of brownies and a notice that someone was going to move in to the apartment next to his.
“Wonwoo dear, someone is moving next door, isn’t that exciting” she said smiling brightly
“Really?”
“She looks really gorgeous dear, around your age, Slightly younger i believe. She is moving in next month so do welcome her warmly, ya hear me”
“Yes grandma” Everyone had the habit of calling the warm soul, grandma. She definitely did treat everyone like family, no one dared to mess with her either.
Grandma was watching Wonwoo munch on the delicious brownies and spoke up, “You know maybe you should show her around, get a little closer huh” she smirked deviously.
Wonwoo only took a sip of his milk, “Grandma this isn’t some fictional romance novel” he replied nonchalantly.
“You’d never know my dearest”
His flashback ended and he had noticed that you were still struggling with the heavy box and next to it was a smaller one. He swiftly walked towards to you and took the box from your hands with ease, “here let me help, I’m wonwoo. You must be the new tenant. floor 7, unit 11? i live next door, unit 12″ he spoke up.
it was only then you realised there was a handsome charming man holding onto your box and literally speaking to you, while you stared at him in a slight daze. Holy macaroni, his face is god-like and his voice? come to mama. You continued staring at him, mouth slightly open until he waved his hand infront of you and pulled you out of your imagination. You got flustered at the fact that you were literally swooning over a man you just met, your neighbor for god sakes and in front of him. Get it together Y/n.
“Hey, i’m Y/n nice to meet you Wonwoo” you stretched out your hand to shake his. Wonwoo placed the box on the ground and shook your hand gently with a warm smile. Grandma was right when she called you gorgeous. Wearing a tank top, pajama shorts, a messy bun and slippers, you still looked amazing.
You lifted the small box, “Thanks so much for offering to help, these are my last few boxes and i can finally start unpacking” you looked so relieved that wonwoo chuckled. “No worries, we live beside each other so it would be convenient too” He grabbed the heavy box and walked beside you towards the elevator. The two of you starting a simple conversation.
“I can’t believe we’re gonna be neighbors. Not saying i would hate it, i just kinda pictured the next door neighbor to be someone older” You wondered out loud.
“Grandma did say you were around my age, but i’m glad that you’re friendly. You’ll definitely fit right in” Wonwoo smiled at you. “she also told me that you were around my age, are you attending college?” He asked curiously, looking down at you since you were shorter than him.
“Yeah, i’m attending the college a few minutes walk from here. Psychology course..you?”
“nice, i’m attending the same school but taking business.”
Your stomach growled, you just remembered you haven’t eaten breakfast at all. Wonwoo laughed out loud and you pouted. “Why don’t i help you unpack and get some takeout so that we can share. It’ll help you save time” He suggested. You felt very touched by his kind gesture, “If you don’t mind, it’ll really help, i’ll pay for the takeout.”
The two of you unpacked and continued getting to know each other. It simply clicked between the two of you. There wasn’t any sign of awkwardness, and you never felt uncomfortable at all around him. Wonwoo made you feel at home. talking to him felt like you were reuniting with a friend from long ago.
Wonwoo held up a book from one of your boxes, “Holy shit, i’ve been trying to find this book for ages” you looked up from folding your clothes, “That is one of my favourite books, good eye. i had to queue hours to get that, but at least with the author’s signature as well” you winked at the end at him. His eyes widened and flipped to the first page where in deed, the bold yet elegant signature of the author lay. “i could lend it to you, as a thanks for helping me as well.”
Wonwoo smiled so brightly you were going to faint he looked like a kid who had just received a kitten for his birthday.
From then on, the two of you became the best of friends. Meeting earlier in the mornings to eat breakfast together before morning classes, walking to school together and even eating lunch together most of the times. Wonwoo introduced you to his big group of 13 friends, and not gonna lie when you first met them, you were really intimidated. Most of them were almost a head taller than you and you felt so small standing next to them. However, they welcomed you with open arms and you loved spending time with them and wonwoo.
Movie nights became a weekly thing after the both of you completed all the dued assignments. You would place you leg on his lap and the both of you would indulge in unhealthy snacks and sodas the whole night before falling asleep together.
Doing laundry together, studying at the library together and buying groceries together. it was normal to see the both of you together. There was never an awkward moment between the two of you. For the first time in your life, you trusted a friend that much in such a short time, it did kind of scare you at how fast you trusted this man but well wonwoo had never done anything to make you doubt him. In fact, he has been doing the opposite. Whenever you feel down about missing your parents or a bad test grade, wonwoo would hug you tight and wipe away your tears. He would do anything to make you happy like telling you about the dumb things his friends had done this week and afterwards tuck you in, sleeping on the couch just to be sure you were okay.
You entrusted him with a spare key in case of emergencies. The first time you realised what you felt for him was probably not entirely platonic was when you returned from your part time job one night. You were exhausted, it was a busy night at the restaurant and your manager had you running table to table taking orders and serving dishes. You wanted so badly to just collapse and your bed and sleep till tomorrow noon. You lazily unlocked your door and threw your bag on the floor, bending down to collect your shoes when you realised there was already someone inside your apartment. You recognised the back of Wonwoo’s head, his soft fluffy hair sitting on it giving him a nice look. Wonwoo heard some rustling and turned to find you finally home, “hey y/n welcome home, how’s work?” You organised your shoe and wonwoo came over to give you a squeeze. You felt his warmth and it felt so good to come back and wrap you arms around hi—.
your eyes opened in shock. You realised that with wonwoo, you were always happy. He made you feel at home, just by being next to you. He was your rock, and you looked forward seeing him everyday. Seeing him laying on your couch, a book in his hands when you reached home, immediately made you feel at ease and less tired. It was so natural, seeing him in your apartment, waiting for you to come home to him was normal.
oh my god. i’m falling in love with Jeon Wonwoo
After you started realising your romantic feelings for Wonwoo, you started being more cautious and aware of his behaviours. You would get flustered when your hand accidentally brushes against his when the both of you are walking. When he hugs you, you found is hard to let him go. You realised the sparkles in his eyes whenever he smiled and how much you enjoyed his laughter, never wanting it to stop.
The both of you would continue doing the stuff you’ve originally been doing. Baking together for the neighbours and grandma or going for walks in the park together. Only until one day, Wonwoo told you
“Y/n i’m so excited, i’m going to go on a date” You felt your smile falter, your heart breaking into tiny pieces. All hoped of “maybe he might feel the same way as i am” were thrown out of your window. You dug your fingernails harshly into your skin and you forced yourself to smile again
“hey that’s great, who is she?”
“Min jun, she’s in business as well. Super talented and smart and she’s really pretty too”
tears were starting to form, and you uncomfortably looked down at your lap, “That’s great, when are you guys going out?”
“Tomorrow, 6pm. I’m gonna bring her to that fancy restaurant Minghao recommended me.” Wonwoo looked so excited, it broke your heart even more.
“but won its movie night tomorrow” you said softly. “Don’t worry i’ll get back in time, just maybe a little late” eyes focused on his clothes. He picked out a button down and showed it to you, “Hey do you think this looks like date material”
“yeah” you mumbled. playing with your fingers, trying to distract yourself from breaking down infront of wonwoo. That night you left his apartment earlier than usual, telling him you still had some assignments to complete. If assignments meant crying the whole night.
the next day, you didn’t see wonwoo that much since you had more classes than usual. You were surprised you were still able to pull through them. Your doorbell rang and you opened it to see Wonwoo.
He was dressed nice in the same button down and jeans. His wrist adorned an elegant watch and his hair was styled nicely. he smelled of fresh shave. Your heart was pounding in your chest at how handsome he looked. “Wish me luck Y/n, i’m going to pick her up now” he smiled, showing how excited he was.
“have a great time Won” You said softly, knowing you wouldn’t have a great time knowing the person you love was going to meet someone else. Wonwoo waved goodbye to you and you closed the door. Sliding down the cool wooden surface and onto the ground, bringing your knees together and bawling your eyes out.
It was about 1 am, you sat on the couch waiting for Wonwoo to return for movie night. this heavy feeling of regret on your chest. You wanted to tell him about your feelings, at least let him know how deeply you felt for him. you knew you couldn’t pretend how much it didn’t affect you that he didn’t feel the same way about you.
The doorknob jingled and you realized it was wonwoo unlocking the door. You stood up and cleaned your sweaty nervous palms on your pajamas. Wonwoo opened the door and was shocked to see you still awake and waiting for him, snacks laid out on the coffee table and tv switched on to the netflix channel. “Y/n i wanted to check if you gone to bed already. I’m so sorry, we had such a good time i lost track of it and i walked her home”
Your heart once again broke at the fact that he had a great time. Of course you wanted him to find a nice girl, but it hurt you so much knowing it wasn’t you. “Wonwoo it’s fine...i need to tell you something and it’s really serious” Wonwoo rushed to you and the both of you sat on the couch. “look won, i really treasure our friendship but i just have to get it off of my chest. i-i love you, but more than a friend loves her bestfriend.” The hand that wonwoo used to hold your hand slowly retracted from yours.
“i know you don’t feel the same way” you said, your voice slightly breaking because your tears started dropping freely. “But you found someone, Min jun, who is much better than me anyways. Treasure her okay? i just want you to be happy and if you’re the happiest with her, then she is the road to go” Wonwoo instinctively raised his hand to wipe away your tears, but he brought it back down at the last second. “Y-y/n i’m so sorry, but i-i just don’t feel the same as you do. i really wished that i did” he looked down at his lap
You sighed out, “It’s fine wonwoo, it’s not your fault either, i just want to lay down now so goodnight. See you later Alligator”
“Goodbye crocodile” Wonwoo mumbled.
You snuggled closer into your blankets as you heard wonwoo leave the apartment and let the tears flow freely.
You know what hurts the most? Loving someone who didn’t love you back.
Wonwoo didn’t sleep that night. you were on his mind the whole time. Guilt spreading his entire body as he could still remember the way you looked when you confessed your feelings to him. The way he wanted to hold you so tight then and chase all your problems away. He reached out his hand to wipe away your tears without even thinking but backed away in the end.
He raised his hand in front of his face and stared at it. he knew he didn’t think of you as anything else but a friend.....right? He recalled all the memories he shared with you, food fights when the both of you woke up at 3 in the morning and had the terrible idea to bake cookies right then. The way your eyes lit up as you stared at the fishes in the sea aquarium. How bright your smile was when he brought you to a cat cafe. Oh god he loved your smi--
Wait no. He thought, i like Min jun, yeah the girl i’m going out with. Right?
He didn’t see you around that much anymore. You didn’t invite him in for breakfast. You walked to college on your own and you ate lunch that you have already prepared yourself. Wonwoo’s heart broke knowing you were purposefully avoiding him, trying to get over him. He himself spent countless of nights trying to get you out of his mind. But his mind always wandered back to you, have you been eating properly? Taking enough rests? or overworking yet again. he hasn’t been taking care of himself. Meals were half eaten, his eyes were dull and he hardly smiled anymore. he just wanted to see you again
your smile, your eyes, your gorgeous face, your kind heart.
his head kept convincing himself, Min jun, Min jun, Min jun.
but his heart chanted, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n.
Glasses clinked together, waiters moving around swiftly. Under dim lighting, Wonwoo stared at his date, Seo min. Seo min was talking about her new designer bag that she bought. Wonwoo zoned out of the conversation tapping his fingernails on the table, he switched his phone on from under the table and stared at the screensaver. It was a selfie of you and Wonwoo.
Seo min clicked her fingers to gain wonwoo’s attention. “Hey you okay? you seem distracted”
Wonwoo rubbed his face and flashed her a fake smile, “erm yeah i’m sorry, what were you saying?”. she continued droning on and Wonwoo had to put in so much focus just to hear what she was saying. He realised how similar the both of you looked. H/c hair, same hair length, height. But she wasn’t you. She didn’t want to get know Wonwoo, she didn’t care to ask if he was taking care of himself.
oh god, i’m in love with Y/n, wonwoo realised
“S-Seo min, i-i need to go, i’m sorry. and i can’t see you anymore. Here is the money for this meal. i have to go” before Seo min could even say anything, Wonwoo was running out of the restaurant.
Wonwoo ran like he never ran before, every breath came out as a light smoke as he ran through the cold wintery streets towards the apartment building. He climbed up the stairs as he was too impatient.
Wonwoo impatiently knocked on your door, panting heavily from running and climbing so far. He waited for you to open the door and brushed through his hair.
The multiple knocks on your door made you put down your book and hot chocolate. “I’m coming!” you said, wondering who was visiting you at this hour. You opened the door and was shocked when you saw Wonwoo panting like he just ran miles.
“Won-” wonwoo stopped you by placing his lips on yours, slowly snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. You were shocked for a second, but hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. You broke the kiss first, leaning away and placing your hands on his face waiting for him to talk
“Y/n, these few week has been misery. As cliche as it sounds, it wasn’t the same without you. I missed you so much, your smile, your laughter, everything. Cooking with you, studying with you and even doing laundry together” Wonwoo said voice slightly quivering as all his emotions poured out for you. “i realised as much as i was attracted to Min Jun, my heart belonged to you. I love you, and i didn’t see it before but i really do. I hope that you’ll consider me again and i’ll really like to bring you out” he finished
You gave him a small peck on the lips, “of course Wonwoo.” He gave you the brightest smile, knowing he has you back in his life and that you love him as well, made him the happiest man alive
He wrapped his arms below your knees and carried you into your apartment and onto your bed. The two of you kay and cuddled for a while. Talking about the events that happened when the two of you weren’t talking.
With you, Wonwoo felt like himself. In contrast to how he felt when he was with Min jun. That night he kissed you goodnight and had the best sleep in a few weeks.
Wonwoo has been bringing you on dates for a couple of weeks now, but he hasn’t officially asked you to be his girlfriend. Regular activities such as having breakfast together and spending time together resumed.
On christmas morning, you woke up earlier to make pancakes for the two of you. A pair of arms wrapped around you from behind, you let out a small yelp and Wonwoo’s deep chuckle made your hair on the back of your neck rise.
You turned around and gave him a kiss, “Good morning won.”
“Good morning baby”
You raised your head to realised the mistletoe that you hung were above you guys.
“look won” pointing to the mistletoe, “looks like i get another kiss”
Wonwoo looked up as well, “Well darling, i have one question. Would you like a kiss from won? or a kiss from your boyfriend Won?” he said bringing you closer. “because i would definitely love to kiss my girlfriend Y/n, not just Y/n.”
you can’t believe he was asking you to be his girlfriend, and on christmas morning under the mistletoe. It was a perfect moment. Your hand wrapped against your mouth in disbelief as wonwoo continued staring at you. You finally nodded frantically and Wonwoo’s face erupted into a big smile
He brought you in for a kiss. A kiss under the mistletoe, from your boyfriend next door.
Masterlist
#seventeen#svt#boyfriend#scenario#fluff#wonwoo#Jeon wonwoo#Wonwoo fluff#wonwoo boyfriend#neighbours#wonwoo angst#angst to fluff
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Hi KC Readers,
Happy Friday!
We have another weekly releases for you to check out. The stories below were updated during the week of April 17 - April 23.
Grab a snack and drink, then dive right into the new stories and reimagined characters of Klaus Mikaelson and Caroline Forbes!
FFN
Klaus POV - The Trouble with Spells (Chapter 21)
Author: ilovetf
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: I think the title is self explanatory. The Trouble with Spells as seen through Klaus's eyes and his POV. Over the years, people kept liking this story and some even asked for Klaus POV, so I decided to give it a try. Hope you enjoy it. All feedback is more than welcome. Good or bad.
Date of update: April 17 2021
SKULLS (Chapter 9)
Author: Lovely Vero
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Vampiro and El Diablo, aka: Klaus and Elijah Mikaelson, heads of the bikers SKULLS are fighting Gabriel Desperaldo, aka: El escorpión - head of the Spanish mafia - and his human trafficking in their city of Los Alamos in New Mexico. Never in a million years, did they imagine that the love of two captured women would change their life forever.
Date of update: April 17 2021
In the shelter of your light (Chapter 3)
Author: Clarity23
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline expected to face some challenges when she decided to foster a teenage girl. But she did not expect that the girl's older, annoyingly handsome brother would be in the picture as well. AU
Date of update: April 17 2021
Everything and anything for you (Chapter 13)
Author: thelibrarianofalexandria
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: She had it all planned ahead. Graduate early, go to an Ivy League college, make her dreams come true. However, she has to change it a little when her whole life is thrown upside down and a handsome original takes an interest in her, the younger, shy, sister of Caroline Forbes.
Date of update: April 20 2021
You can't run from your past (Chapter 2)
Author: CookieDuo
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline Forbes is an FBI agent with secrets. Three years ago she fell in love with a target before she helped put him behind bars, and she faked her own death. Now he's escaped from prison and he's learned the truth, about who she is and the secret she's been keeping since he got sent away. Now she has to run, but he's determined to catch her. And he always gets what he wants.
Date of update: April 20 2021
Take on the world
Author: Logan27
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Starts near the end of 4x14 (I would rewatch that episode up until Klaus comes out onto the porch just for a refresher). Caroline makes a life altering decision and takes a big chance in order to move forward, heal and discover.
Date of update: April 21 2021
A Failed Sacrifice (Chapter 4)
Author: CookieDuo
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: She ruined the sacrifice to save her own life, and in order to survive she turned to the only other vampire who'd been able to survive the wrath of Klaus Mikaelson. She gets away, and learns from the master, but when Klaus eventually catches up to her, her life will never be the same again.
Date of update: April 23 2021
AO3
Step Up Or Step Out
Author: ThrowMeAStory
Rating: E
Length: One shot
Summary: 4x16 au, Part 7. For Caroline it's been a long time coming.
Date of update: April 17 2021
no goodbyes (Chapter 9)
Author: deadofwrite (dead_of_write)
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: “Last night shouldn’t have happened,” Caroline whispered. Guilt. Shame. Regret.It was all the emotions he feared. And it was written all over her face. aka. a college/cheating au
Date of update: April 17 2021
Turned Off or Turned On?
Author: Anonymous
Rating: E
Length: Drabble
Summary: Caroline-that-has-flipped-the-switch seeks out one Klaus Mikaelson. Deep down Caroline knew that seeking him out was wrong on so many levels, he had been responsible for so much death and destruction, but that didn’t stop her. Truthfully, it made her want to go to him more, now that her emotions had been turned off. There was nothing from keeping her from having him. Had she had them switched on it was doubtful she even would have gone out of the door, she would have just wistfully thought about going instead. Thinking about what might have been.
Date of update: April 17 2021
One of a Kind, Two of a Kind, or the Three Musketeers (Chapter 10)
Author: Phandancee74
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline recognizes how hard it is for Elena to be a doppelgänger, her fate predestined as well as her face. It's pretty tough being the last of your kind too though, and Caroline is determined to protect them both, with some very helpful Bennetts on their side. A fic that integrates Malivore and the larger supernatural universe into TVD from the start.
Date of update: April 17 2021
A Blonde, A Brit, and A Baby (Chapter 3)
Author: Books4eva180
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline Forbes life is right on schedule for her Twenty-Year plan that she created at 16 years old: at 23 years old she is a junior editor at a magazine company in NYC and she has fantastic friends; one of whom is about to get to married. Life couldn't be more perfect or at least that was until she slept with a British asshole. What was only supposed to be a one night stand has turned into a life changing night because Caroline is now pregnant. Klaus Mikaelson has always enjoyed the simple things in life. Bourbon, art, and an endless stream of girls who are more than willing to fall into his bed. This all changes when he is forced to move to America to join his father's law company and he isn't even really his father. Then to make matters worse he ends up sleeping with a girl and even worse she ends up pregnant. Forced together in a situation that neither of them could have planned for will feelings blossom (yes they definitely will) Will Caroline be able to handle this life changing event? Will Klaus be able to escape the demons from his past? Will the both of them be able to provide a happy and healthy home for their baby?
Date of update: April 18 2021
Darkness Becomes Thee
Author: BelleMorte180
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Austria 1300s When Klaus met a young girl on a riverbank, he knew that he would one day come back for her. When he looked into her bright blue eyes, he could see a reflection of his own soul, a darkness that lingered inside both of them. When the young girl turned into a beautiful woman with a thirst for blood, his fascination with her turns into obsession. He wants not only her loyalty but her eternity, a possessiveness that is equally returned. or my "Caroline is the serial killer Elizabeth Bathory" au.
Date of update: April 18 2021
Reunited (Chapter 13)
Author: CandyCane1287
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Set after 5x12 TVD, where Caroline confesses what she did with Klaus to Katherine and Tyler hears. Katherine reveals that she’s dying and knows of a witch that could help her. But the witch is in New Orleans and that’s where Elijah and Klaus. Baby included but nice Hayley doesn't stick around. Also, Elena is supportive here.
Date of update: April 18 2021
A smutty anniversary (Chapter 6)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline and Klaus celebrate 3 months together with a day full of smut.
Date of update: April 18 2021
american dream prom queen
Author: trashcanbarbie
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: “What would they say, if they knew you were here, on my birthday doing something almost…” she trails off, because she doesn't know the word. “Nice?” he suggests, then grins like a wolf, “They’d roll in their graves, my siblings.” “They're not dead.” He grins, and Caroline feels as if he’s laughing at a private joke when he says, “Aren't they?”
Date of update: April 19 2021
We are young (Chapter 12)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: T
Length: One shot
Summary: Basically, Klaroline flirt in front of their kids who they are barely older than, and Landon is appropriately confused.
Date of update: April 19 2021
Nowhere Else To Go (Chapter 2)
Author: NerdyNostalgia
Rating: G
Length: Drabble
Summary: Klaus has an unexpected visitor while in New Orleans and is determined to show her a good time. He isn't going to let this chance pass him by, and if it means he and Caroline get closer...well, that was a bonus. But is Marcel planning something?
Date of update: April 19 2021
Part of Your World
Author: perfectpro
Rating: G
Length: One shot
Summary: After trading the loveliest thing she possessed to a sea witch in order to walk on land, Caroline realizes that she'd accidentally bargained her voice away. Human legs shouldn't always feel this sort of pain, should they? With only a week to go before the spell wears off, the bargain can be undone entirely with true love's first kiss. The only problem is... Who falls in love in less than a week?
Date of update: April 19 2021
I Don’t Want You To Die
Author: klarolinexluv
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary:
Date of update: April 19 2021
Sibling Rivalry (Chapter 9)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: In which Klaus and Rebekah are both bi, their taste in men and women overlaps infuriatingly often, and they argue over their newest shared interest. Edit: This is going to be a full series now, I love it so much. Edit 2: Oops, I dropped a whole bucket of angst on Caroline's backstory. If only there were some Mikaelsons willing to help her work through it...
Date of update: April 20 2021
What Could Have Been (Chapter 37)
Author: TNaPKI
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: My impression of what Season 6 of The Originals would have been like post 5x13 where Klaroline becomes endgame. Is Klaus really gone or is there more to the story? Find out! FINAL CHAPTER out in a month!
Date of update: April 20 2021
The Salvatore Sisters (Chapter 19)
Author: 1Jemmagirl22
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline and Davina Salvatore are Stefan and Damon's younger sister's, and they are far more than meets the eye. When Stefan and Damon's younger sisters show up during the beginning of season 2, what could possibly go wrong. The Salvatore girls have a dark past littered with their brother's enemies, the same enemies that just so happen to be their family. With Mikaelson's as husbands, miracle powers that could crush a Bennet witch, and whole life their brothers never knew about just how much have can these sisters and their family cause.
Date of update: April 21 2021
YOU ARE NOT HERE
Author: wincefish16
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: PROMT - HUMAN. KLAROLINE LOVED EAC OTHER, HAPPY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE CAROLINE IS THE ARTIST AND KLAUS IS A LAWYER. THEY HAVE AN ACCIDENT AND CAROLINE SLIPS IN A COMA. SHE IS LIKE THAT FOR 1 YEAR. KLAUS , AS A TRIBUTE TO HER STARTS PAINTING. DOES HE FALL INTO NEW RELATIONSHIPS?
Date of update: April 21 2021
Compromise Coffee (Chapter 3)
Author: BelleMorte180
Rating: E
Length: One shot
Summary: Caroline Forbes has a coffee problem; or better described as a crush on the cute barista, Klaus, who knows how to make her large, non-fat latte with a caramel drizzle and two extra espresso shots just right. After years of coming to Compromise Coffee, Caroline thought he would have made a move by now, but he hasn't. Caroline has decided that it is time for her to make the move herself.
Date of update: April 22 2021
Soulmate visions (Chapter 4)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: On your soulmate's eighteenth birthday, you see through their eyes for an hour, but they don’t know. And if your soulmate turns eighteen before you are even born, you never get a vision. Klaus gets his soulmate vision right after he orders Tyler to bite Caroline on her birthday….
Date of update: April 22 2021
Give Me A Sign (Chapter 6)
Author: PumpkinDoodles
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline Forbes is happy that she left founders' parties, competition over guys she'd known since elementary school, and even Mystic Falls itself behind years ago. She's not second-best to Elena anymore. Even Liz would be proud of her new life working on the side of the law. Mostly. (If you need to compel someone into giving up stolen goods, is it really a crime?) Of course he's the one person from her past who comes looking for her. Klaus does that.
Date of update: April 22 2021
Secrets Inside Us
Author: 1Jemmagirl22
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: Klaroline as actors falling in love on set.
Date of update: April 23 2021
Destination Wedding (Chapter 2)
Author: PumpkinDoodles
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: The first rule of going to your ex's wedding is 'make sure you look good,' but Caroline's seriously worried that this British Guy is going to make her late. And she cannot be late to Rebekah Mikaelson and Matt Donovan's wedding at a Virginia winery.
Date of update: April 23 2021
There Is Nothing I Would Not Do
Author: ThrowMeAStory
Rating: M
Length: Drabble
Summary: 4x16 au, Part 8. Caroline and Bonnie reconnect.
Date of update: April 23 2021
Cloud 9: A Collection of Klaroline Fusions and Crossovers (Chapter 10)
Author: klarolineagainnaturally
Rating: G
Length: One shot
Summary: Various fusions and crossovers with Klaus and Caroline including Much Ado About Nothing, Ready or Not, and Tangled!
Date of update: April 23 2021
FFN/AO3
FFN: The Traitor and the Coward (Chapter 5)
AO3: The Traitor and the Coward (Chapter 5)
Author: Uppity Bitch
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Klaroline AU supernatural multi-chap - Original!Caroline has spent lifetimes running from her lover and his family. Despite the centuries of loneliness, she regrets nothing. Soon, she'll bring an end to this madness. Or bring the madness full circle.
Date of update: April 17 2021
FFN: Heartless to Heartfelt, Redone (Chapter 10)
AO3: Heartless to Heartfelt (Chapter 13)
Author: SmallTimeWriter
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Daggered and buried deep within the ocean, Klaus has spent the last 9 years in a torturous state. Haunted by memories of the past and images of a child he never got to meet. Now awakened, but not the same. He is faced with a decision, can he forgive those who wronged him when a threat larger then they could anticipate appears? They must reunited to survive. All Main Characters.
Date of update: April 18 2021
FFN: Divine Intervention (Chapter 13)
AO3: Divine Intervention (Chapter 13)
Author: Uppity Bitch
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: This takes place in an alternate universe after Klaus seeks assistance from a certain blonde Norse goddess after Katerina has become a vampire and foiled his attempt at breaking his curse. Later chapters will follow this spicy "power" couple as they stir up all kinds of trouble in Mystic Falls. (Dark Klaroline) *Nominated for 2016 Klaroline Award - Best Original Story Concept
Date of update: April 19 2021
FFN: A Beautiful Symmetry (Chapter 154)
AO3: A Beautiful Symmetry (Chapter 154)
Author: Uppity Bitch
Rating: M
Length: One Shot
Summary: A collection of random AU one-shots featuring Klaroline. *2019 KC Award - Best one-shot series* Chapter 154: Dimples and Domestics. The Mikaelsons are spoiled, selfish snobs — and unfortunately are art student Caroline and her parents' main source of income. At least she only has to put up with them over her summer break...
Date of update: April 21 2021
FFN: Through his eyes (Chapter 6)
AO3: Through his eyes (Chapter 6)
Author: TheAlllureOfDarkness
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: The story of Klaus and Caroline, from Klaus POV.
Date of update: April 21 2021
FFN: Judgment Call (Chapter 5)
AO3: Judgment Call (Chapter 5)
Author: Eliliyah
Rating: T/G
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: As a Federal Agent, Caroline Forbes has always lived by a strict moral code. But when new evidence comes to light that Klaus Mikaelson, the first man she helped send to death row, may not be guilty hours before his execution, she begins to question everything she's ever known. As the investigation leads to the heartbreaking truth, she's forced to choose between right and just.
Date of update: April 23 2021
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Prompt & Fic Updates (Updated 5/9)
Because I have a lot of fics and prompts upcoming, here is a list so you can see what's in queue and when my WIPs are set to update. Generally speaking, I will stick to this schedule as much as a I can, though it might change from time to time.
A HEART PERMANENTLY BOUND TO YOU
BELLARKECAVE
Chapter 3 (Final): 6/23/21
BETWEEN THE FIRE AND THE FLAME
CLURPHAMY
Chapter 3 (Final): 6/30/21
WAIT 'TIL I GET MY MONEY CH 1
BELLARKE/MINTY/HARPHY Chapter 3: 7/7/21 Chapter 4: 7/21/21 Chapter 5: 8/18/21 Chapter 6: 9/1/21 Chapter 7: 9/13/21
HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE (WHO HAD A SECRET TO HIDE)
BELLARKE/MURVEN
Chapter 2: 7/14/21 Chapter 3: 8/9/21 Chapter 4: 8/25/21
YOUR HEARTBEAT NEXT TO MINE
BELLARKE
Chapter 7: 6/25/21 Updating every Friday
UPCOMING PROMPTS
See below the cut for my upcoming prompts
FIND ME IN THE DARKNESS
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: 6/26/21
Seelie Princess Clarke is set to marry Unseelie Prince Wells, her childhood friend as has been arranged since their birth, but there is nothing less in the world that she wants to do. So she decides to run from the court but somehow ends up in the Shadow Court—somewhere that no Seelie should ever be. But then she meets the King of the Shadow Court Bellamy and something is drawing her to him. Bellamy can’t believe his luck with one of his subjects shows up at his door with a Seelie Fae and not just any Seelie, it turns out, but the Seelie Princess. He thinks that he’ll be able to use her to finally have his court recognized by the other two. He wasn’t expecting her to be his soulmate but as soon as their eyes lock, he knows. And he knows that he can never let her leave him.
COLD SWEAT
ROARKE
Expected publication date: 7/3/21
Clarke is a nurse who works hella late nights in the ER and walks home. She’s attacked one night while walking home — nothing happened because a (tall, muscular) stranger happened to be nearby and pulled the guy off her. But the man in question, Roan she learns, tells her that if she’s going to walking home in the city at night she should learn how to protect herself. So she signs up for a self-defense class...and Roan ends up being the instructor. He teaches her how to defend herself, and she starts growing more confident in herself in general. Confident enough to ask him out after class one day. Let��s just say they never make it to their dinner reservation.
TIL DEATH
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: 7/10/21
Clarke falls in love with Bellamy the moment she lays eyes on him. He's smart and handsome and has a fire inside of him that she finds mesmerizing. Sure, he's always been secretive, but his secrets are a small price to pay for his love. But then she learns what those secrets are, and suddenly the price doesn't seem so small. He's not what she thought he was, and even though she loves him, she plots to take him down
JUST KEEP BREATHING
BELLARKE/MINTY/MURVEN
Expected publication date: 7/17/21
Their group consists of six. Bellamy, a convict with a thirst for revenge. Miller, a sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager. Monty, a runaway with a privileged past. Raven, a spy known as the Wraith. Clarke, a Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. Murphy, a thief with a gift for unlikely escapes. Somehow they managed the impossible heist only to be backstabbed and Raven to be kidnapped. They get Raven back and they get their revenge but nothing ever comes for free. "We were all supposed to make it, " Monty says softly. Maybe they'd been naive but they had never questioned their survival—no matter how dicey the situation seemed. But Bellamy is dying in Clarke's arms—the only place he wants to be—and Raven is telling her that she has to accept it. Only Clarke knows that she doesn't have to. She may not have the jurda parem but it's already changed her powers. She can do this. She knows she can. She pulls on all of the power that she can and forces it into Bellamy's body as the last breath leaves his lips. Or a Six of Crows AU that picks up at the end of Crooked Kingdom with slightly different results.
REMEMBER THOSE WALLS I BUILT (WELL, BABY, THEY'RE TUMBLING DOWN)
BELLMORI
Expected publication date: 7/19/21
Emori isn't the sentimental type. When you grow up the way she did, you tend to learn to not get attached to things. When you get attached, that opens you up to loss. And she's had about all the loss she can handle. But then she meets Bellamy. He's a grad student at NYU, this hot book nerd whose hair is always a mess and who comes to her bar to do homework like some sort of weird. Says he grew up basically in a bar, and the background noise helps him focus when his apartment gets too quiet. And he's...not her type. He's got kind eyes and his hair is always a mess and he's getting a master's so he can teach history and he wants to travel the world to see all of the places he's going to teach students about in person. He wears his heart on his sleeve and makes stupid jokes and chats with everyone he sees. Meanwhile, she's got hard edges and a rough exterior no one's ever gotten close enough to even try to crack. Well, no one until Bellamy. And the closer he gets, the more she starts to think maybe the risk of opening up is worth the reward...
WELCOME TO TEMPTATION
BELLARKE/CLURPHY/ROARKE
Expected publication date: 7/24/21
Riot Night changed Clarke’s life forever. A gang war between the Grounders and the Reapers had reached a head that night. The first riot began at the abandoned amusement park where Clarke and Raven were attending an underground MMA fight. Clarke makes sure that Raven gets away but finds herself in danger only to be rescued by three extremely attractive mystery men. Three mystery men that framed her as the ringleader of Riot Night. It’s eleven months later and she is coming back to Arkadia for the first time in the eight months since she was acquitted of all charges. As she arrives at her mother’s house she discovers that the three mystery men are her new housemates and they have no intentions of leaving. Now all that she desires to revenge—no matter the cost. When she finds herself in danger it is her new housemates that vow to keep her safe. Can Clarke learn to trust Bellamy, Murphy, and Roan? Does she need to trust them to sleep with them? Because it has been a long eleven months of celibacy and they are all stupidly hot. Based on the Madison Kate series, a reverse harem enemies-to-lovers story involving lots of sex and lots of violence.
Will be added to WIP list w/ expected publication dates after the first chapter is posted.
THE AFFAIR
MEMORI
Expected Publication date: 7/31/21
Murphy is married to Clarke Griffin, a hotshot doctor who's on her way to becoming the youngest chief of surgery ever at Arkadia Memorial. But their marriage is more show than anything these days, and neither of them is in love anymore. She's constantly at work, and he's left to his own devices. That is until he meets Emori at one of Clarke's hospital galas. The affair they startup is supposed to be fun, a bit of distraction from Murphy's otherwise mundane life. But then real feelings develop, and he isn't sure how he's supposed to tell Clarke that he thinks he's found the one...and it's not her.
IT'S YOU (IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU)
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: August
Clarke, Princess of the Arkadian ocean, and Bellamy, Prince of the Mecha sea, were not supposed to ever meet—let alone fall in love. There were engagements to uphold, treaties to sign, and wars to win. But they do meet and they fall in love—deciding to leave it all behind. Before they can run away together their two kingdoms unite to banish the princess and the prince to separate oceans, to separate their souls, despite the sea witch's warnings. But soulmates always find a way back to one another. Can Bellamy and Clarke find each other and right a wrong from centuries ago?
Will be added to WIP list w/ expected publication dates after the first chapter is posted.
THE ANIMAL AWAKENS
LINCTAVIA
Expected publication date: August
Growing up Octavia never understood why the foxes would follow her around. It wasn't until she hit her teen years that she learned that she was a Kitsune—the Queen of the Kitsune. In a world where the supernatural is viewed as evil, she has to learn how to rule her people but also how to live in the world into which she was born. Lincoln is a dragon shifter—a warrior with one purpose: wipe out the Kitsunes. He doesn't know why their two people are at war but he has never approved. When he meets Octavia it is easy to forget that their people are enemies. Can true love overcome everything for these natural enemies?
PIECE BY PIECE
LINCTAVIA
Expected publication date: August
Octavia's father left when she was just six years old, leaving her feeling unloved. It is her big brother Bellamy that picks her up and helps her put herself back together again. He is the first man to show her that they don't always leave and that she isn't unlovable. Octavia begins modeling in her teens and her father shows up under the guise of catching up and getting to know one another—but really all he wants is money. Luckily her stepdad Marcus is there to help her put herself back together again. He's the second man to show her that they don't always leave and that she isn't unlovable. When Octavia meets actor Lincoln she is cautious, afraid to put herself out there but he wins her over. And then they're married and starting a family. When she gives birth to their daughter she vows that she will never be like her father and it is Lincoln that shows her what it truly means to be a father. Inspired by "Piece by Piece" by Kelly Clarkson
REVENGE
CLURPHY
Expected publication date: August
Clarke and Murphy grew up together and they caused a lot of trouble together in their teens. They left Arkadia as soon as they were both eighteen and set out to make lives for themselves. They turned to robbery for an easy way to get some cash, but then a job goes wrong and Clarke gets caught and Murphy just runs. She’s spent the last six years in jail and he’s never once come to see her. Now she’s out and she wants revenge. But as soon as her eyes land on him, all those old feelings come back and she can’t decide which is stronger—her love for him or her need for revenge.
NOT EVIL, JUST HURT
LINCTAVIA
Expected publication date: August
When Octavia discovered her powers to control the weather she had been excited but a little overwhelmed. She tried to teach herself how to use them since there were no sorcerers or sorceresses in her village. Unfortunately, she’d lost control and massacred her entire village—her mother and brother included. When she was found out they tried to kill her, spewing hate and telling her that she is a monster. So she became the monster that they accused her of being. Years later when she meets a soldier named Lincoln who has been injured, something happens that she never expected—the ice around her heart begins to melt. Lincoln isn’t afraid of her and he is kind to her. She doesn’t understand it but she finds herself falling hard.
CUTS DEEP DOWN THROUGH YOUR CHEST (INTO YOUR SOUL)
BROARKE
Expected publication date: September
Bellamy and Clarke have been married for five years and they're just as happy as the date they got married. They love their jobs, their dog, their friends, their life. When Clarke's childhood friend Roan begs Clarke to be his date to his mom's wedding, she and Bellamy decide what's the harm—especially with Roan willing to foot the bill and pay her for her time. Bellamy's only condition is that he goes to. Roan agrees which should be the end of it—until the couple realizes that they're falling for Roan.
CITY OF CLOUDS
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: September
Clarke found the staircase in the middle of the woods—a place she’s been a million times before and it had never been there. Something was drawing her to them and as she climbed and climbed, clouds began to appear around her. When she pushes through the door she finds herself in a whole new world. Bellamy welcomes her to the City of Clouds and explains that the only way she could have found her way there is if she was looking for an escape. Clarke doesn’t want to admit it but she was looking for an escape from the pressures of her life—her mother’s expectations and pressure to marry Finn. It was all just too much. The City of Clouds is beautiful and she’s never known a place like it. And she’s never known a man like Bellamy before. And now she’s not sure that she ever wants to go home.
HOT & COLD
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: September
Clarke, the Winter Queen, has only ever known cold and logic. Bellamy, the Summer King, has only ever known warmth and emotions. When their two realms suddenly start bleeding into one another they have to figure out how to stop it. If they happen to fall for one another in the process, who can blame them? Can he teach her how to feel? Can she teach him how to use his head and his heart?
THE CRUEL PRINCESS
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: September
Bellamy Blake was seven years old when his mother was murdered and he and his sister were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, and Bellamy desires nothing more than to belong there but many of the fey despise humans. Especially Princess Clarke, the youngest and wickedest daughter of the High Queen. To win a place at the Court, Bellamy must defy her and face the consequences. Consequences deep down he's not ready to face—like falling in love with Clarke even though he can't stand the mere sight of her. A Cruel Prince AU
FORBIDDEN
MURVEN
Expected publication date: October
The sorceress of Arkadia, Raven, has only one job—to keep Prince Murphy alive until his coronation. There have been multiple attempts against his life and it has been decided that she is best equipped to protect him. She takes him far from the palace so that she can protect him. What she wasn’t expecting was to fall into bed and then in love with him.
BORN WITH TRAGEDY IN HER BLOOD
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: October
Clarke is the beloved queen of Arkadia and when Azgeda declares war on Arkadia, she is right there beside her soldiers fighting. During a battle, she is wounded and she’s not sure that she will survive but a man rescues her and nurses her back to health. Bellamy tells her of the chaos that the world has become since she went missing—water turning to blood & crops dying. It seems that there is some kind of curse on the land. Clarke immediately tries to drag herself from bed but she can’t even stand. Eventually, he agrees to see her home so that she can right their lands. And if he’s a little bit in love with her, who can blame him?
SOULMATE AU
BELLARKE/MINTY/MURVEN
Expected publication date: October
A continuation of chapter 39 of "We are all caught in the in between (Of what's real and what's a dream?)"
CONTINUATION/EPILOGUE OF A WALKING DREAM OF LIFE AND LIGHT (HATH LEFT ME BROKEN-HEARTED)
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: October
A continuation/epilogue for my fic A waking dream of life and light (hath left me broken-hearted)
SUPERNOVA GIRL
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: October
Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century AU — Clarke grew up on the Ark with her parents and loves everything about her life in space. But after getting into trouble one too many times, her parents are sending her to spend some time on Earth with her Aunt Diyoza. To say Earth is a huge culture shock would be an understatement. But things begin to look up once she manages to make some friends, especially Bellamy, the cute boy who is fully fascinated by her life living among the stars. Everything is actually going great until Clarke discovers something that puts life on her beloved space station in jeopardy.
DARK MAGIC AU
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: November
Arkadia, once a prosperous land filled with magic is slowly crumbling beneath the darkness that spreads from the forest that borders their lands—the magic all but lost and forgotten. As the darkness spreads, Arkadians begin to sicken and die. Following his mother's death and his sister falling ill, Bellamy decides that he shall brave the darkness and destroy Wanheda. Wanheda, the Commander of Death, used to have another name—Princess Clarke of Arkadia. In order to keep her people and her lands from being overwhelmed by evil, she took it upon herself to keep the darkness at bay. Into the forest, she went and made her home in a tower far from anyone and everyone that she has ever known. For centuries she has taken the darkness into herself to save her people and it has slowly been seeping into her soul until she has forgotten her former self. Now all she knows is the darkness. Can Bellamy save Arkadia and Clarke?
WEREWOLF AU
BELLARKE
Expected publication date: November
Clarke bought a little cabin in the woods so that she could get out of the city. She just can’t do all of the people and all of the constant going anymore. Everything is going well until she gets bit by a wolf and then on the next full moon, she turns into a wolf herself. She’s scared and confused—not to mention lost—when the black wolf finds her. She immediately knows that he’s like her—a werewolf. He helps her through the night until they fall asleep under the stars. When they wake up naked, she finds out that the black wolf is a very hot guy named Bellamy who has a proposition for her. Bellamy was born a werewolf, a gene passed down by his mom. He was raised as part of the pack and Marcus, the pack leader, was training him to take over when the time came. But then another pack came and killed most of their pack. Those that they didn’t kill they took prisoner—his sister being one of them. The only reason he’s alive is that Marcus had sent him out of state to meet with another pack. He knows that the wolf that bit Clarke is in this pack because he’d been watching her when she got bit—he just hadn’t been fast enough to stop it. Bellamy tells Clarke that he can help her get revenge on the man that turned her into a werewolf as long as she helps him get his people back. She doesn’t hesitate, her thirst for revenge and blood running too deep.
MERMAID AU
LINCTAVIA
Expected Publication Date: November
Lincoln sets sail one week following his wedding to Octavia, promising to return in six months, leaving her with nothing but a paper boat. It's been two years and everyone thinks he's dead. But then rumors reach her of a man who looks likes her dead husband, swimming in the sea—with a tail instead of legs. So she steals her brother's boat and sets off to find her husband.
UNTITLED
BELLARKE/CLEXA
Expected publication date: November
Clarke finds herself in love with two people: Bellamy and Lexa. Neither of them can stand one another and it's probably at least in part due to the fact that she refuses to choose between them. Tired of the pair's fighting she tricks them both into coming over at the same time and tells them that she will not choose. If they cannot get along then they can both leave. It's either both or neither of them. Reluctantly they get to know one another and realize that maybe the other isn't so bad.
UPCOMING OTHER
TRY AND STAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD SERIES (MURVEN HOLIDATE AU SERIES)
Holidate AU. FWB. June holiday. Expected Publication Date: 6/28/21
Holidate AU. FWB. July holiday. Expected publication date: 7/12/21
Holidate AU. FWB. August holiday. Expected publication date: 8/23/21
#miranda writes the 100#the 100#the 100 fanfiction#t100fic4blm#prompts#bellarke#bellarke fan fiction#bellarke fanfiction#bellarkecave#bellarkecave fanfiction#clurphamy#clurphamy fanfiction#linctavia#linctavia fanfic#memori#memori fanfiction#minty#minty fanfiction#murven#murven fanfiction#clurphy#clurphy fanfiction#bellmori#bellmori fanfiction#clexa#clexa fanfiction
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The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5
Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.
Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be
Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along!
Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11
Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat
We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!
Episode 12: The Gungan General
> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN
> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode
>> this’ll be funny
>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious
> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun
> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU
> DISASTER I TELL YOU
> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”
> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)
> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage
> ah he is indeed a traitor
> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”
> JAR JAR WHOO
> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”
> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere
> oh and now he’s in the cockpit
> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?
> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”
> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”
> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight
>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold
> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO
> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters
> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy
> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice
> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart
> holy shit
> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run
>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?
> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement
> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy
> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster
> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to
> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies
>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept
> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see
> “ this is not going well” no shit
> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?
> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦♀️😂
> sneaky lying snake
> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????
>> so how does that work you dumbass
> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan
> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂
>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock
> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT
> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius
> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun
> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks
> what the fuck
> JarJar I I’m what-
> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL
> fuckin JarJar was great
> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀
> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass
> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends
> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real
> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm
Episode 13: Jedi crash
> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH
> SHES HOT
> I LOVE HER
> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie
> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?
> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch
> And anakin
>> I am also quite attracted to him
>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that
> Uh oh
>> Oh anakin you twit
>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF
> HES INSANE
> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way
> Oooohh shit for a STAR
> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning
> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar
> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh
> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit
>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it
>>> Like for fucks sake
>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?
> Anyway, moving on
> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!
> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤
> Oop - well that dudes dead
> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too
> Can we just appreciate this?
> Well these little critters are cute
> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude
> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’
> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.
> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS
> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service
Part 14: Defenders of Peace
> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now
> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST
>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-
> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?
> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck
> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked
> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-
> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭
*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*
> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON
> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂
>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!
Part 15: Trespass
> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????
> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right
> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)
> Why’s he so defensive over it?
> Oh yikes, that does not look good
> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd
> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids
> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!
> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK
> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away
> Alright back to the episode once more
> Abominable snowman????
>> Definitely
> This is gonna go well isn’t it?
> “Well? Say something”
>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*
> What the fuck is their mouth
> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic
> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN
> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that
> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me
>> Preferably kit fisto
> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)
> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues
>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀
> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?
> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already
> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy
> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?
>> BRUH
> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰
>> Oh no
>>> I’m simping for another character
> Surely this guy dies
> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER
> What a dick, he shall not be missed
> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????
>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS
> he’s seriously not dead yet?
> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE
> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS
Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)
#the clone wars#tcw#the clone wars reacts#reacts series#star wars ahsoka#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#obi wan kenobi#kit fisto#riyo chuchi#jar jar binks#basically a leah simp fest#fucking sigh#it took one (1) ep for me to simp
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sa mga ulap | drabble
translation: among the clouds
synopsis: you’ve decided to surprise namjoon by joining the flight he’s piloting to Germany, but in the end, you’re the one who gets surprised
pairings: namjoon x reader
rating: NC-17
au: established relationship!au; pilot namjoon and taehyung! au | genre: fluff; humor ;
warnings: a dash of sexual innuendos here and there
word count: 1.9k
request: by @mintseesaw “ GABBYYYY MY LOVEE HII for the drabble game, may i pls request for bighani ft. the loml namjoon + est. relationship au or husband!namjoon hehehhfkffkgjh” GIRL IM AT WORK WHILST DOING THIS WHICH ISNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN BUT THAT POST OF JOONS THIGHS 🥴🥴🥴 SO YES THE THIRST IF FUKEN REAL SKFSJDF id like to apologize in advance for any mistakes askdfjiajf i just started and finished this toDAY gnhgnh BECAUES GOF THE THINGS NAMJOON DOES TO MEAJFAWIOEFJO
g/n: this is part of The Paraluman Playlist - a drabble game we’re holding for the whole month of August!!! I DUNNO YALLS IM TEMPTED TO PUT A NAMJOON POV FOR THIS ONE
navi. | m.list
As Namjoon’s goodbye kiss lingers, your hands slowly trail themselves up to his nape, wrapping your fingers around the back of his neck to pull him closer. “Where are you headed off today baby?”
“I have a flight to Germany and Italy afterwards, then we’re flying back to Seoul. Probably be back in less then a week or so, darling.” Namjoon’s facial features soften as you look up to him with a pout, placing another kiss on your forehead. “It’s okay baby. I’ll be back before you even know it.” Your boyfriend of seven years squishes your face between his palms as he peppers kisses all over your face.
You’re usually not this clingy but Namjoon has been busier than ever, with double the number of flights he has on his schedule than usual. Not to mention they’re all all long-haul flights - meaning he has to fly for more than seven hours for every trip. Which is why you’ve decided to throw a little surprise, for your boyfriend since you’ll be celebrating eight years together tomorrow.
With a handful of help from Namjoon’s friends in Korean Air, a whole lot of bribing (and maybe a dash of under-the-table exchanges under Namjoon’s name) you managed to book the same flight to Germany Namjoon was going to pilot, wanting to surprise him when you arrive at Berlin and maybe spend some of his free time together as you travel around nearby tourist spots. Or you know, perhaps a quiet, sultry night at a luxurious bedroom provided for by the company?
Either way, it takes a mighty effort from you to even attempt to contain your excitement inside, biting your lip as you dust off invisible crumbs off his shoulders. Namjoon isn’t the slightest bit fond of their uniform, staying true to his preferred laid-back fashion sense, but to you, your dashing boyfriend in his uniform was a sight you could never get used to. “I miss you already,” you sigh, holding him tighter in your arms.
Palm brushing against his crotch, you flutter your eyelashes at him in the hopes that you might convince him just a few more minutes with you. Greedy of you, yes, but could anybody blame you if your boyfriend was devastatingly tall, dark, and handsome? Not to mention that time that the amount of time away from home his job takes away from him was to you, a woman of many needs, unacceptable.
“Come on, baby, you’re going to get me late for work.” Hands gently squeezing at your waist, you feel Namjoon rest his chin on you as he holds you close. Heaving a sigh, you let go, letting him grab his necessities off the table. As he bids you goodbye for the last time, you manage to get a slap on his ass. Your boyfriend turns to look at you, expression stoic as ever. “Can’t get enough, can you? It worked last time honey, but it won’t now.”
“At least I tried right?” Namjoon shakes his head at you, blowing you a kiss as he closes the door of your apartment. The moment you hear the door click, you make a quick dance, giddy as ever. Quickly, you make a dash for your room, grabbing your suitcase from the top of your closet. Having planned this a month ago, you head on to grabbing the clothes you intended on bringing, taking a pile of clothes and underwear (you might have added a lingerie set in there too) strategically stashed in one side of your closet for convenience and faster packing.
Taking out your phone, you swiftly go over the list you’ve made for things you have to bring, checking if everything is situated where they’re meant to be. You dress up as fast as you could, put light makeup on and go through your apartment, making sure you’ve left no appliances on during your leave.
Leaving a larger tip to the cab driver for bringing you to the airport faster than expected, he gladly helps you with your suitcase, likewise wishing you happy and safe travels. With less than two hours left before Namjoon’s flight, you go through the usual pre-boarding routine before heading to one of the few restaurants inside the waiting lounge to grab lunch. As you walk to your boarding gate, someone taps on your shoulder, and you turn around to see Myunghee in her uniform, smiling excitedly at you.
You inwardly squeal, elated to have met her before boarding. She was one of the few people in Namjoon’s circle of work friends, and of course, one of the few people who helped you with your plan. Sharing a quick hug, she asks you how life has been treating you and you respond with the usual, being busy with work and this quaint cafe that you and Namjoon had agreed on establishing, hidden amongst the many crowded streets of Seoul.
When you ask her the same, she shyly tucks almost non-existent small strands of hair between her ear, the studded ring on her finger glinting proudly against the light inside the hallways. Your mouth falls agape, instantly cupping a hand over your mouth as you squeal excitedly. “Taehyung proposed?! And you didn’t even tell me?!”
“It was just two weeks ago! And you know it’s been hectic for us recently. This year’s peak season is...wild, to say the least.” You nod in agreement, understanding her situation. You don’t keep her long after her revelation, and she says she’d gone ahead of the crew knowing you were going to be lurking around here too before boarding. Myunghee advises you to stay in a secluded place for the meantime before heading to the boarding gates, just in case Namjoon passes by and sees you.
True to her words, you see your boyfriend shortly after, walking alongside Taehyung. You quickly hide behind a large pillar, secretly watching the two friends make the corridors their runway. You feel like a fangirl seeing her favorite celebrity as they walk by in their white button ups, aviators and all. There’s a tiny bit of jealousy swimming inside you as you notice you weren’t the only one swooning over your boyfriend (or the duo, for that matter) but it gets overcome by the pride beaming in your chest, having him as your boyfriend.
Courtesy of your boyfriend’s employment at Korean Air, you’ve had the opportunity to travel a lot overseas hence your frequent flyer points. Deciding to spoil yourself while you’re at it, you’ve opted for a first-class seat, wanting to get as much rest inside as well. A couple of hours later after your near encounter with Namjoon earlier, you’re already comfortable in your seat, the soft leather effectively lulling you to sleep. You manage to stay awake though, enough to hear Namjoon’s voice after the in-flight announcements and directives. Feeling more excited than ever, you snuggle to your seat, a contented smile on your face.
Multiple taps on your shoulder wake you from your dreaming of beautiful Berlin, a flight attendant in her uniform gently shaking you awake. “Miss ______? The captain requests everyone to listen to the announcement.”
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Namjoon Kim speaking, we are currently cruising at an altitude of 35,000 feet. The weather looks good and we are expecting to arrive approximately thirty minutes ahead of schedule. Estimated time of arrival in Berlin, Germany around 2AM following Seoul’s timezone. The cabin crew will soon be going around to offer you a light snack and beverage, and the inflight movie will begin shortly after that.”
Namjoon’s voice has this authoritative lilt to it, yet wonderfully soothing at the same time. The captain continues, “Actually, I’d also like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the presence of my lovely girlfriend, Ms. ________, currently seated at 13 F upstairs.” The man coming from the lavatory looks at you then back to your seat number by the divider. Shrugging, he gets back to his seat like nothing happened. You, on the other hand, are shell shocked, surprised at how Namjoon found out you were here. Surely, Taehyung and Myeonghee wouldn’t have outed you just like that.
“It’s okay, darling. I already knew you were going to join this flight a week before our friends knew, so you don’t have to worry about anyone revealing your ‘supposed’ surprise,” Namjoon adds, seemingly aware of your thoughts. You hear hushed laughter from downstairs as a few people listen to his speech. “Could you come here downstairs for a moment, babe?”
The same flight attendant from earlier approaches your seat from behind and extends her hand out as she points to the stairs. “If you would please follow me this way please, Miss ________.” Soomin, the name of the flight attendant you just discovered, giggles at your reaction, escorting you to the galley a level below.
“Ah there she is,” Namjoon sends you his infamous dimpled smile, reaching his hand out for you to take. “My girlfriend, ______.” Taking his hand in yours, he smiles to all the seated passengers, “I’m sorry to keep this short, because I still have a job to do,” Namjoon points his thumb to the cockpit, where you hear his co-pilot turned friend, Taehyung answer back, “I got this Joon! You go do your thing bro!” Your boyfriend mutters a short ‘thanks’ in return.
With your hands intertwined, you feel Namjoon tremble slightly, worry instantly crossing your features. You squeeze his palm once, peeking over to him. “Okay, honestly, I prepared a whole speech for this, but then time constraint...I-- I’ll just go straight to the point. In a few hours, we’ll be celebrating eight years together. It may have had its own bumps along the way, but I wanted to let you know that every moment spent with you was worth it. Every time I fly to another country, I only have two goals in mind, to transport our passengers safely to their destination…” a man from the back whoops while a few from the passengers clap in amusement.
“...and two, to come back home. And you know what they say, home is where the heart is. Home is you. You are my home. And there’s no one else in this world who I’d rather have that be, but you, the love of my life. With the sky we are crusing at, the heavens above, and the ground below, and of course all of the people present on this plane as my witness, I wanted to show everyone how much I love you.”
You hear Taehyung’s deep distinct voice from behind approach, “Flowers for you, lovely lady,” he bows, handing you the flowers, “...told you they won’t wilt easily,” he winks at Namjoon, before joining Myunghee by the aircraft’s door. You’re already teary eyed at this point, and Namjoon makes sure to wipe a stray tear from the corner of your eye. “With this proclamation, I also wanted to let you know that I want to spend the rest of my life loving you,” your boyfriend gets down on one knee, taking and opening a small velvet box out of his pocket. “Hopefully, you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with me too?” Full on crying now, you bend forward, taking his face in your palms as you say your approval. Namjoon stands up with slight difficulty with Taehyung jumping and cheering behind him and he wears the ring on your fourth finger.
You kiss yourfiance one more time, feeling like you’re just among the clouds.
Please let me know what you think! x
© hhyungz 2020
#paralumanplaylist#bts scenarios#bangtanhq#ficswithluv#btswritingcafe#btsguild#btsghostie#hyunglinenetwork#kim namjoon#bts fluff#bts imagines#kim namjoon scenarios#bts namjoon
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Fearless: Chapter 5
Pairing: Werewolf!Jeon Wonwoo X Vampire!Reader Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Non-Idol Au Warning: Language Rating: T WC: 3.8K AU Lore: Vampire Coven Info/Wolf Pack Info/Lore Info
A/N: So I didn’t mention, but Minghao is def my favorite to write in this AU. I can’t wait until I get to his actual story. Oh idk if anyone cares, but if you wanna be tagged for updates just let me know!
Chapter List: Chapter 1/Chapter 2/Chapter 3/Chapter 4/Chapter 5/Chapter 6/Chapter 7/Chapter 8/Chapter 9/Chapter 10/Chapter 11/Chapter 12/Chapter 13/Chapter 14
***
Wonwoo groaned, feeling a sense of deja vu as he heard the blaring alarm of his roommate going off...yet again. Only this time, the man wasn’t nearly as tired as he had been the day before so he welcomed the wake up call. There were quite a few things on his to do list today, work included. Before his shift began though he needed to find Sojung, needed to talk to her. He had a hunch but couldn’t find enough information on his own. She was the only one he could really trust with his questions, she was the only one he couldn’t see completely freaking out.
So he went ahead and got up to get dressed, pulling on some jeans and a rather comfortable gray sweater that’s sleeve were a bit too long and ended up stopping part of the way down his hand. The alarm song was still blaring loudly through the room, he rolled his eyes at the fact that somehow Mingyu was still snoring through it.
Ignoring the alarm, Wonwoo left their shared room and made his way towards the kitchen were Sojung would no doubt be. It was a bit earlier than he usually got up so she was probably still making breakfast with either Jacob or Sana. Just as he expected, Sonjung and surprisingly Felix stood in the kitchen. Felix attempting something with eggs? Maybe scrambling them? Wonwoo wasn’t too sure, and from the looks of it Felix wasn’t too sure either. Sojung was on the other side of the kitchen making...pancake batter? Wonwoo wondered for a moment if he should start trying to learn more about cooking, but that was a thought for another day.
He passed through the threshold and made his way straight over to Sojung. She seemed to notice his presence and glanced over at him as she lifted the bowl to begin stirring her batter.
“Sojung can I talk to you?”
***
It was a good 20 minutes before breakfast had been finished, but just as requested Sojung came to the living room alone and shut the door behind her. There weren’t a lot of places to talk privately here, what with 12 people living under one roof. It got a bit stressful at times.
Sojung looked a bit worried, as if his request was something to be concerned about. She didn’t say anything though until she sat down, taking a seat on the couch closer to the side where Wonwoo’s chair resided.
“So, we don’t have the most time. But what do you know about Mates? And how do we react to them when we meet them?” He began, a bit of worry tugging at his chest. He began pulling at the ends of his sleeves as he continued. “I looked through some of the books we have here but I couldn’t really get a concrete answer.”
Sojung seemed a bit taken back by his question, like his inquiry was the farthest away from what she had expected. Pushing a few strands of her light brown locks behind her ear, she adjusted herself on the couch.
“Well, from what we’re told as kids. Your mate is someone you just can’t ignore, it can be anyone of any gender or species.” Wonwoo felt his heart sink a bit, any species? “And when you meet them, it’s less of an instantaneous attraction to them but more of a pull. Where you’re subconsciously drawn to them.”
This definitely lined up with what Wonwoo had been feeling the past two days, a pull, a need to talk and be around that person. That...Vampire. The realization had his heart in knots. Not only was his mate most likely a Vampire but...the Pack was planning an attack on the Coven within the next few days. He felt conflicted about how to react to this situation. He refused to betray his pack but if let the attack happen then...he would never even have a chance to be with his mate. That thought alone had his inner wolf crying out in sadness.
“Why the sudden interest? Did you start feeling a pull? It wasn’t that Vampire girl was it?” She questioned, as always perceptive. Wonwoo froze for a moment, only now remembering that Sojung was currently the only member who knew about his interaction with that woman. Now he wasn’t the best liar, but he seemed to be doing a lot of it lately. He only hoped that this time Sojung didn’t see through his pathetic attempt.
“Oh uh, no. I just got curious, since i couldn’t find that much about it in any of our books. And i mean my parents barely talked to me about mates before I left, so I figured it’d be better to know.” Hopefully she bought the ‘thirst for knowledge’ lie. To be fair, out of everyone in the cabin, he would have been the only one asking just for pure information's sake.
Before Sojung could question him more, the door to the living room was thrown open and Seungcheol entered. If it was possible, he looked even more tired than he had been the day before. To be fair, Sojung wasn’t too far behind him in the exhaustion department from the looks of it. They were pushing themselves in order to keep the pack safe.
“When you get off work tonight make sure to come straight home. We’re having a pack meeting at 9 since everyone is home tonight. We need to go over our plan for the Full Moon.”
Wonwoo’s heart sank, he didn’t have a plan yet. But if that Vampire was his mate...he would have to figure out how to call off this plan.
***
“I absolutely can’t believe you have nothing better to do tonight than babysit me.” You muttered, your eyes bore holes into the ceiling but your words were harshly directed towards Minghao. The man in question had claimed your desk as his home for the rest of the night. After your confrontation last night, he decided that until you were healed enough to be assigned patrols again, someone would have to watch you. Since you obviously weren’t going to just stay at home like you were supposed to.
Minghao flipped the page of the book he was reading, ignoring your whining. He obviously wasn’t up to playing your game, and considering he had been around Jun for about a century now...it was fair to assume he was pretty good at tuning people out when he needed to.
Groaning you rolled over, flopping your face onto your pillow in irritation. It wasn’t like something like suffocation could kill you anyway. The last time you had checked the clock it was almost 10, so sometime in the next thirty minutes you would need to magically get rid of Minghao or you weren’t going to make your meeting.
Quickly you pushed yourself up from your bed, taking a seat cross legged on the mattress. A confused look graced your face as you tried to recall when you had decided you were even going to the beach like Wonwoo had asked.
Your companion seemed to notice the conflicted look that had crossed your features. With silence that only Minghao had, he placed the book down on your desk and cocked an eyebrow at you.
“So, are you going to tell me what’s so important you keep disobeying orders? If you do I might let you out tonight.” He began, and he seemed honest about it. He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees as he waited for you to speak. “Keep in mind that I know all of your tells when you lie, so it’d be smarter to just tell me the truth.”
A chill ran down your spine at his words. You had no idea how someone that looked so slender could be so terrifying when he wanted to be. With this in mind, you groaned loudly. This was the definition of a rock and a hard place. Gods it was frustrating.
“Fine you want the truth. I think...fuck I think I might be able to get the Wolves off our back. I have a contact that I was going to meet tonight, and he might be able to help me.” To be fair, was it really a lie if it was based on truth? Sure Wonwoo hadn’t said anything about helping you get the Wolves to back off but he was also weirdly going out of his way to talk to you.
“And why didn’t you tell Jun or Soonyoung?” of course he had a follow up, he wouldn’t just be like ‘oh well why didn’t you say so?’ and let you go. That just wasn’t like Minghao, he was too through for that. It’s why he was an enforcer.
“Because…” Now was not the time for your creativity to fail you, but you couldn’t exactly figure out a good lie for this one.
“Because he is a wolf…” The words came out pretty mumbled and quiet. Your gaze left Minghao, not really looking forward to seeing his reaction to this revelation. Honestly, just meeting with the wolf was bad enough but actually talking to him could be grounds for being cast out. Which was definitely the last thing you wanted. You jaw tensed as you waited for him to begin berating you, but the moment never came.
“I know.”
Your eyes quickly jumped back over to your elder, the look on his face was rather neutral. Before you realized what you were doing, you had stood from your bed and made your way over to him.
“You know? How the hell do you know?!”
“You really think I saw you yesterday in the residential district and just kept going with my night? I sent Kevin home and followed you obviously.” Of course he did. You honestly should have expected that, but for some reason you had believed you had actually gotten away with sneaking past the sneakiest person in the whole Coven. At this point you felt a bit stupid.
“I’ll give you points for telling me at least some of the truth. I’m pretty surprised you told me you were talking to a Wolf, but he didn’t say anything about helping you. So for lying I need to deduct points for that.” At this he stood up, brushing past you as he walked towards the door. He stopped once right after he grabbed the knob.
“Your meeting is at 11 right? I was going to give you until 2am, but since you lied to me you get until 1am. If you’re late, expect Soonyoung to get to hear you’ve been meeting with a wolf.”
You were baffled, mouth agape as Minghao left and shut the door behind him. He was...letting you go meet a wolf? A wolf that was known to be a part of your current rivals and mortal enemies? Honestly, baffled didn’t even begin to cover the range of emotions you were currently feeling. Adrenaline seemed to rush through your veins as you snapped your head towards your nightstand to check the clock.
10:30.
Fuuuuuuuck
***
Wonwoo was grateful that the strategy meeting hadn’t lasted as long as he had expected. He hadn’t thought he would make it on time, but he walked up to the beach right at 11. The Vampire, whose name he really needed to learn tonight, was nowhere in sight. It was a large beach though, so he casually began strolling down the beach.
The beach was mostly silent tonight, the only sound other than waves was the distant sound of a mermaid luring in a helpless human who had unfortunately been afflicted with a broken heart. He was a bit grateful that the mermaid’s calls never worked on creatures besides humans, while he might not have had a broken heart he was still grateful he wouldn’t have to deal with that...ever.
He continued his walk silently, stopping every so often to simply stare up at the moon. It was almost full, only four more days before Seungcheol’s plan would go into effect. Frankly at this point, Wonwoo was dreading the Full Moon which was quite strange for someone of his nature. Usually the Full Moon was a comfort and a source of power for the wolves. So to have it bring him such a sense of dread wasn’t something he was used to.
Thirty minutes passed and Wonwoo decided it would probably be smart to head home. She wasn’t coming, and it was pretty dumb to assume she would. Just as Wonwoo was about to give up and walk home with his tail between his legs, he heard the sound of footsteps against the snow covered sand.
Turning he saw a figure running down the beach towards him. His Vampire. His heart caught in his chest at that thought. She wasn’t his, not technically? Not yet? No, even thinking that sounded predatory. He wasn’t going to force her into anything, she would have to decide if she acknowledged the mate bond or not.
He hoped she did.
***
Your legs burned as you raced down the beach, barely catching sight of him as he appeared to be leaving. Skidding to a stop a few feet in front of him, you slumped over. You had been basically forced to run from the bar to the beach which is about an hour when walking, running had gotten you here in about 30 minutes.
“Whoever said Vampires had unlimited stamina...was an asshole...and a liar.” You muttered between pants. Once you were back to normal, you straightened yourself and eyed the wolf. You were honestly still a bit worried that he had planned some kind of attack.
You noticed a small smirk on his lips, as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You know, I figured the rules of politeness or whatever you live by would mean that you wouldn’t be late.” He teased. Oh, oh was that how we were playing? Rolling your eyes at his terrible joke, you placed a hand on your hip.
“Oh, haha. Bite me wolf boy. I had to run all the way here.” You retorted. While it was in fact a bad joke, thinking about it again caused you to chuckle a bit. So he was funny and attractive, that was pretty annoying.
Your eyes flicked towards him again when he took a step forward, you retaliated by taking a step back and eyeing him harshly.
“Just because we are talking doesn’t mean I trust you.” It had only been two days ago that the two of you had literally been fighting. And after everything, you still couldn’t bring yourself to fully trust a werewolf. “So you say what you wanted to say from right there, and then we both go back home content to try kill each other tomorrow.”
You watched as his smile morphed into a neutral yet almost disappointed frown. Clearing his throat, he lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck and his eyes turned to face the ocean waves that continued to crash into the shore. The moon seemed to cast a gentle glow on him, and if you were being honest he looked beautiful. Which was weird to even think about, you enemy being beautiful and all. Especially since he seemed so uncomfortable with your words.
“Well, I don’t want to kill you or your friends.” He muttered, not returning his gaze towards you. It wasn’t something that you should go off about, it really wasn’t. But just hearing those words seemed to make you angry, that anger boiled in your gut as you took a step closer to him.
“Oh? Well then why don’t you tell your friends to stop trying to break into our home? Or why don’t you get them to not hurt my Coven? I’m sure Hyunjin would appreciate not having a broken arm.”
Running a hand through his hair, he kept his eyes out towards the moon. The sound of the waves pulling in and out was the only sound that filled your ears for a good long moment. When he finally responded, well it wasn’t what you had hoped for.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Oh I’m sure it’s not. All you wolves are the same, we were doing just fine here until you guys showed up and started fighting us for this town.” You weren’t quite yelling, but a harsh tone had laced itself into your words. Frustration flowed through you as you took another step towards him. At this point, despite your hesitation, you couldn’t tell if you were going to attack him again or not. All of your senses told you not to, but your rage continued to push your forward towards him.
Finally, he turned to face you once again. A similar look of frustration on his own features, like what you were saying was actually getting to him. He noticed you had crept closer and even though you were painfully angry, he could see that you were hurting as well. Sure there had always been hatred between your two races but this felt different from your typical prejudice.
“Oh, and you Vampires are any better? Leaving corpses in the woods for us to find. Felix is only 20, he shouldn’t have to see a dead human for at least another two decades, if ever.” Remembering the fear that had shook Felix when he had returned home from his run that day, it was a terrible sight. The first corpse was found not even two weeks after they had moved into the cabin.
This accusation seemed to only fuel your fury. By this point you were almost directly in front of the wolf. Fist balled at your sides as you glared up at him.
“You seriously think we just dine and dash like that?” It was pretty damn insulting. Even before Soonyoung and you had gotten settled as a Coven, the two of you had done your best to not fully drain anyone you had drunk from. Of course there have been accidents during extreme situations, but those were far and few between. So if someone was draining humans and dumping them in the forest, well that was news to you.
“Well, unless there is something about the Fae I don’t know about, then your Coven is the only fit. Considering all of the corpses have puncture wounds on their necks.” Now he was on the advance, taking a step closer towards you and closing what little distance that had been left. You now had to crane your neck slightly to keep your eyes on his face. You stood your ground, knowing that despite the evidence there was no way this had come from your Coven. That’s why you were a Coven, because you had the same morals and those morals had to do with not killing Humans whenever you felt like it.
“It’s not us. I don’t know why there are bodies showing up in the forest but it isn’t my people. It’s just not. We aren’t like that.”
“Oh? And what are you like then? You seem all too willing to push all werewolves into a box so why don’t you tell me why I shouldn’t do the same to you?” His challenge had you flinch, but you refused to break his eye contact. After all, that would be to admit defeat. Before you could return the biting remark, he stepped back and dropped his gaze once again.
When his eyes returned to you, you could see the remorse now lingering on the surface.“That...that was uncalled for. I’m sorry. I’m not here to fight you, I just want to figure some things out.” He pushed a weak smile onto his face, and you noticed his hands almost nervously playing with the hem of his sweater sleeves. “If you say it’s not your Coven then I believe you. But, can you believe that my Pack didn’t really mean to hurt that kid? I talked to my brothers about it and they said it was an accident. Apparently the boy attacked them on sight, which is fair, but they were just acting to defend themselves.”
You’d have to confirm this with Hyunjin when you got home, but for now, against your better judgement, you decided to trust him. Taking a step back as well, you crossed your arms over your chest and nodded but kept a stern look on your face. Keeping that might help remind you that this was the enemy you were talking to, he wasn’t your friend and at the drop of a hat the two of you could get into another fight. It was something you seemed to be having trouble remembering the longer you were around him, frankly it was pretty annoying.
Your nod brought a smile to his face, and you almost completely forgot what you had been thinking. It was a much cuter smile than you were expecting from him, especially since the two of you had literally just been at each other’s throats. Clearing your throat, this time it was your turn to avoid his gaze.
“Okay you’ve got to stop doing that.” He just tilted his head in confusion, his smile morphing into a rather cute look of confusion. “Don’t give me that look. You know what you’re doing. Trying to be cute just so I’m not mad at you anymore. It’s not gonna work, that barely works for people I actually know.”
It wasn’t until you noticed the new smug look on his face that you realized just what you had confessed to him. Before he could tease you about your words, your phone came to life with noise. The alarm you had set, letting you know that you had to leave. You muttered a curse.
“Looks like we have to cut tonight short, mut-...Wonwoo. I’ll ask around and see if anyone knows about the corpses.” You said, irritated at the short time limit you had been given. “I’ll try and get out again tomorrow night but I don’t know how lucky i’ll be tomorrow. I guess you can just wait for me again?”
“Or, better idea, we exchange phone numbers? Then you can tell me if you’re coming. I’ve got people I’ve got to keep from getting suspicious too.” While he wasn’t wrong, you didn’t really know how you felt about that. After deciding you didn’t have the time to debate this you quickly said the number, repeating it once more after he quickly fumbled with his own cell phone.
After he confirmed the number, he flashed you an almost cheeky smile. As if this had been his plan since you had arrived and he was glad that it had worked.
“And your name?”
#Seventeen x reader#seventeen fic#seventeen au#seventeen fanfic#svt x reader#svt fic#svt au#svt fanfic#seventeen werewolf au#seventeen werewolf#werewolf seventeen#svt werewolf au#svt werewolf#werewolf svt#jeon wonwoo x reader#jeon wonwoo imagines#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo imagines
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a love that endures preview | Yoongi
→ summary:
“Oh come on! Just go say hi to him already,” Seokjin huffs. He wiggles his eyebrows irritatingly, striking you with the urge to shave them off in retaliation. “I could feel your ‘God, I miss his dick’ vibes from across the room!”
“I do not emit dick thirst vibes,” you respond hotly, swatting him in the tit. You pause, considering. “Wait, but do you think he misses my p—”
“Say no more,” Seokjin interrupts, a wicked smirk gracing his lips. His gaze is fixed somewhere behind you, but you have a sinking suspicion you know why he looks like he’s won the lottery. “Speaking of the devil, look who’s coming over to say hello!”
{or alternatively: Yoongi and Y/N. Y/N and Yoongi. High school sweethearts that were never meant to be, until a high school reunion ten years later manages to reignite a flame that never quite burnt out.}
→ genre: high school reunion!au, exes to lovers, fluff, humor, minor angst → warnings: shy!yoongi and shy!oc live rent free in my brain, mutual pining is poggers, hoseok and seokjin feature in this and they aren’t evil for once in a cinnaminsvga fic, vaguely implied smut but it’s pg-13 because i’m a wimp → words: anticipated 15K → a/n: are you ever, like, irritatingly aware of how in love you are with someone? because that’s me while writing this fic. this fic was supposed to be 6-7K in length since it was a commission, but then i kept writing and well... here we are!! i hope to get this out before the end of the year but i thought it’d be nice to release a preview just so you guys know i’m still alive. or whatever. anyway!! enjoy!!
After ten years of radio silence, Min Yoongi is in your orbit once again.
In the grand scheme of things, ten years wasn’t all that long. Four years in university had passed by in a blur, and the absolute chaos that ensued right after you graduated as you scrambled to secure a job and move out of your hometown had made the days seem shorter than they actually were. You had not even noticed that time was passing until you found that cream envelope waiting for you one day after work, your alma mater’s school crest painfully recognizable even after all these years.
During all that time, the world around you shifted without you noticing, and that meant people were changing too.
Yoongi is 28 now. And so are you, after many months of denial. You have not seen each other since you were both 18—both of you far too young to know about any of the things you would experience in the next ten years. He might have grown taller a little since then, something you are sure that your brother will find amusing. His hair is not dyed like you remembered, as he has opted to keep it his natural dark black that you have not seen since you were both in middle school. It is styled differently too: combed over and jelled back, with his bangs pushed back and his forehead on full display. When he turns his head to the side, a gasp spills past your lips before you can stop it.
“Is that a fucking undercut?” you mutter in shock, your eyes straining out of their sockets as you try to drink him in. Even under the dim lighting of the ballroom, his new haircut is hard to miss. No one else seems to be undergoing the same mental collapse as you, judging by how everyone’s attention is still fixated on the person speaking at the podium. How the hell is no one else losing their fucking minds to the sight of Min Yoongi with a fucking undercut? Some questions are impossible to answer, you surmise.
When you decided to attend the reunion, you had not once thought about how Yoongi would look like. Somehow, you had developed this stagnant picture of him in your head, even after all these years. To you, he will always be the boy with the stark blonde hair, the mismatched eyelids, the pouty lips, the dumpling cheeks. He is the boy who can’t wear his own contact lenses to save his life, the boy who sometimes wears his favorite leather jacket to sleep, the boy who only drinks Americanos like it was water.
Gone are those days, you realize. That image of him has been smashed to pieces, instead replaced by this dashing (and incredibly hot) man—a stranger. A stranger with unbleached (and healthy) hair, a jawline sharp enough to cut glass. He has his glasses kept away, and there is no leather jacket in sight.
But you can see him, if you look hard enough. The same spark in his eye, the same curve of his lips. You catch him smiling for a second, and his cheeks still puff up like dough. Maybe it’s just hopeless thinking, but you see him. It’s still him. To you, he will always be your 18 year old Min Yoongi, the one who would greet you with a sweet kiss on the forehead every time you would—
Raucous applause breaks you from your train of thought, and you blink rapidly in surprise. You have to forcibly pull yourself out of your Yoongi-induced trance, clapping alongside everyone without really knowing what was going on. All of the extra noise sounds like buzzing in your ears, especially when it is drowned out by the roar of your blood rushing to your head all at once.
“Once again, I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight. We will begin the program right after dinner, so please feel free to help yourselves to the buffet! Cheers everyone!” You faintly hear your old schoolmate speak, before her voice is quickly overrun by the commotion of people walking over to the extravagant display of food. It takes a moment for the crowd of heads to disperse, so when you can finally look back to where you last saw Yoongi, he is no longer alone.
Hoseok has his arm slung around Yoongi, his infectious laughter loud enough to be heard over clinking plates and silverware. The two look as different as night and day, with Hoseok practically bouncing from excitement and Yoongi rolling his eyes from annoyance. But it is easy to see that his pout is nothing but a ruse; you can already see the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips.
You feel your own seams breaking, unwittingly sporting a grin of your own. It is nice to know that Yoongi hasn’t been alone all this time, that he still seems close with his old best friend. You cannot count the number of friendships that you have lost over time, and you still grieve many of them during your quiet moments. Alas, it was often never even anyone’s fault, the strains of adulthood often being the biggest dealbreakers in your relationships.
“Enjoying yourself? I didn’t think we’d share the same voyeuristic tendencies,” says a voice, creeping up behind you. Now, normal people would not usually expect other sane people to invade your personal space and breathe directly into your ear, but that’s just your humble opinion. What you do know is that one certain individual enjoys breaking the mold when it comes to societal norms, and it is none other than…
“Jesus fucking Christ!” You shriek, nearly suckerpunching the offending degenerate in the face. You barely hold back your fist from connecting with his face, but your resulting irritation remains. Whether that irritation is because you regret actually holding back or not will unfortunately also have to remain unanswered. “Oh God, it’s you.”
“Oh, no need for that. Most people usually call me Seokjin,” he snickers, thoroughly enjoying your flushed face. Kim Seokjin pats you on the shoulder, his trademark “pretty boy” smile still as radiant as you remembered. It does nothing to quell your urge to raise your fists again, however. “Hello, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here!”
“The feeling is not mutual,” you snort. Much like how Yoongi was with Hoseok, your derision is nothing but a rouse. As much as you want to kick Seokjin in the nuts, you also cannot ignore how much you want to hug him the slimy bastard—but you definitely will not be the first one to admit it. So like the tsundere that you are, you decide to insult him instead. “Don’t you have other things to do? Or rather, people to do?”
“My heart! You wound me,” he gasps, grasping his chest as though he’d been shot. “How could you say that to your best friend in the entire world? Don’t you know how much I missed you?”
“Easy. I do it because the only other alternative would lead me straight to prison,” you shrug, but the grin is forming fast on your face. This time, you don’t jolt away when he closes in for a hug. “And I guess I miss you too,” you say, your words slightly muffled into his chest. Like always, he sees through your prickly act because as much as you like to pretend, Kim Seokjin is kind of amazing—loose bolts and all.
“It’s nice to know that your tongue hasn’t lost its edge, though I suppose I wouldn’t be intimately knowledgeable in that area. After all, I still am very much a raging homosexual and pussy isn’t really my forte,” Seokjin guffaws, his volume causing a few nearby guests to raise their heads up in alarm. You bow at them, sheepishly apologizing on his behalf before grabbing him by the collar.
#btsghostie#bts x reader#bts scenarios#yoongi x reader#yoongi scenarios#my wips#look at me writing a fic when im in the middle of my finals season HAHAHAH#like you would never ever catch me writing except during the times when i shouldnt be#but yea this is probs coming out after christmas bc i have another thing releasing on that day (winkies)#but definitely coming out before new years so!! im so excited for this!!#i havent been this pumped for a fic since a boy like you LMAO#and you can bet your butts that this is gonna be equally if not sweeter than that one#who the fuck is angst? idk#okay this fic will have like 2% angst but HEY if you can drink 2% milk and not notice then you can read this fic#dont worry tbh its like baby angst.... 2020 is weird bc i really did become a fluff writer and it be like that sometimes!!#see yall soon syub syub
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keep me (on fire) [kylux, rated T]
PROMPT(S): headache/migraine (@badthingshappenbingo, 13/25) & kylux advent on Twitter
SUMMARY: Armitage knew, when he agreed to follow his temporary co-lead Ben back to his tiny flat that first time, that whatever might occur between them would have a natural deadline. He's got no right to desire something more permanent.
None at all.
FANDOM: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
TAGS: Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Mutual Pining, Hangover, Getting Together, Insecurity, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
2.2K || ALSO ON AO3
He slowly comes to with a solid warmth crushing him half into a soft bed—two familiar things that aren’t supposed to be anywhere near each other.
He jolts awake.
For his part, Ben only rolls over from on top of him with a mumble and starts (or goes back to) snoring—like there’s nothing wrong in this picture. Like it is every day that he rubs himself all over Armitage’s not bumpy mattress and slobbers all over Armitage’s not rock-hard pillows and—and—
Oh stars, he brought Ben home.
Home. The most private of his personal spaces. The one-and-only-one-man’s land. Not even Phasma has been in his flat before; something dire must have happened for Ben to be given the privilege. Whatever that might be. He vaguely remembers sharing a taxi back from the New Year’s Eve party, an arm around his waist keeping him upright, warm breath next to his ear—
Fuck, even thinking hurts. The oblivion of sleep tempts him, the warmth of the bed pulling him in deep. He wants nothing more than to curl under the sheets until his brain stops trying to burst out of his skull and the universe is set to rights again.
Unfortunately, it isn’t all that’s about to burst.
He pushes himself up and out of the bed with a low grunt, a shiver passing through him in the winter chill. Not eager to bumble about for his housecoat, he throws on the first extra layer he can grab off the floor—namely, Ben’s giant jumper. Ben won’t need it under Armitage’s plush duvet.
Outside of the dark cave that is his bedroom, the hallway is lit with that eerie, foggy glow of dawn. These hours don’t find him awake often anymore. Resent as he may the loss of authority that came with a co-lead, having Ben to help shoulder the burdens and irritations of a high-profile project has made for a simpler, calmer life. In the safety of his thoughts, he can admit that once Starkiller is completed and Ben returns to the Coruscant branch where he belongs, their office will feel immensely empty.
He goes about freshening up almost lazily, brushing his teeth until his mouth stops tasting like he licked the floors of First Order clean. His stomach is churning, his headache—pulsing to the same rhythm as the ringing in his ears—reminding him how old he is getting for the scene. To hell with trusting Ben; he is sticking to his wine and the occasional two fingers of whiskey from now on.
It will be weeks before he can even think about having another drink, though.
Next stop: the kitchen. Taking two painkillers, dry, he sits at the kitchen table with a glass of water, sipping at it as the worst of his light-headedness abates. The room brightens around him, slowly and without mercy, a deep ache settling onto his bones as he remains in the same spot too long. His eyes close on their own accord once or twice—his chin dropping onto his chest jerks him awake again.
He isn’t avoiding sleep, exactly; it’s more that he is bloody dreading returning to the bedroom. Ridiculous, he is well aware. This was hardly the first time he’s woken up next to Ben; that it happened—presumably—without sex first or in Armitage’s flat, where Armitage can’t get dressed in the dark and slip out while Ben sleeps on, shouldn’t change anything.
Still, it feels too awkward—too intimate—now. If he returns to the bedroom, he is going to wake up in Ben’s arms, to Ben’s soft smile and mussed hair, and get ideas. Ideas that will haunt him every time he slides under and out of these same covers alone. The calendar already hangs over his head; does he truly need to torture himself further?
Besides, he made his bed, didn’t he? He knew, when he agreed to follow Ben back to his tiny flat that first time, that whatever might occur between them would have a natural deadline—in fact, that was a selling point back then. What right has he got now to sit here and pity himself?
Appalled, he drags himself up and over to the counter. Sleep is obviously off the table; he might as well make himself useful and put the coffee on. It should help with whatever part of his leftover headache is due to caffeine withdrawal.
Except that he can’t, he realises after everything is primed for it, since his coffee maker tends to screech like a hell beast and Ben is still asleep.
Hells. How can one man complicate another’s life so much solely by existing?
“You okay?”
Heart lurching, Armitage pushes away from the counter as if burned. Ben is standing just outside the kitchen with a hand on the doorframe, half-blended into the shadows in his customary black. His bed hair looks as horrible as Armitage imagined, although his lips are curled into a frown, lines visible between his brows.
A cruel, twisted little part of Armitage is glad to see Ben perturbed. It means he isn’t the only one.
“Yes,” Armitage responds belatedly, trying to rearrange his limbs into a semblance of comfortable, if not relaxed. He is still wearing Ben’s jumper, fuck. “Yes, of course. Just—making coffee.”
Ben hums, glancing down at the empty mug on the counter. “Is there enough for two?”
Armitage takes another mug out of the overhead cabinet in answer. Ben brushes against his back on the way to Armitage’s abandoned seat.
They don’t speak as the coffee maker runs—couldn’t hope to, over the sound of it. While companionable silence has never truly existed between them, they hadn’t had this sort of tension tainting the air since the first couple of months after Ben’s arrival, back when Armitage was still unwilling to cede any amount of control over their project. A feeling not unlike foreboding fills him, his limbs heavy with dread.
A crack runs down Ben’s mug—a shallow line on the outside, harmless beyond appearances. Filling them both, he passes Ben the intact one, leaning back against the counter with his hands hiding the defect.
Ben gulps down a good third of the scalding liquid as if dying of thirst before putting it down. Armitage’s throat burns in sympathy.
“Nice place you have here,” Ben says with a slight rasp to his tone, gesturing around with his free hand. “Very… austere.”
Armitage snorts. “You mean unlived-in.” He appreciates Ben’s attempt at tact; but he is under no illusions about the state of his home. The bedroom is where he sleeps and the kitchen is where he spends his waking hours while here; the rest of the flat might as well not exist.
“It’s a little sparse,” Ben admits. “Doesn’t look like you spend a lot of time here.”
It isn’t a question and Armitage doesn’t bother responding. Ben already knows the hours he keeps at the office—they leave together often enough for dinner and other after-hours activities.
Has he got enough food for breakfast for two?
Folding his arms over the table, “I thought you would come back to bed,” Ben says, an odd hesitation colouring the words. Something about the lines of his shoulders, drawn in deep as if trying to hide into himself, makes Armitage’s heart burn. “You were gone a long time.”
How long has Ben been awake? How long has Armitage, for that matter? “I couldn’t sleep,” he lies. “I didn’t want to disturb you with my tossing and turning.”
A corner of Ben’s lips ticks up. “I could help you sleep,” he says, an amused glint playing in his eyes. “Now that we’re sober.”
About that.
“Maybe later,” Armitage hedges, hiding behind his own coffee. It tastes as bitter and dark as his mood. “What happened last night anyway? I’m… missing a few details.” Most of the night, more accurately. Sharing a cocktail table with Ben; two rounds of some bright red concoction Ben swore he would enjoy; the shots; the foolish, foolish desire to impress Ben, who drank like alcohol disappeared in his body…
The bits and pieces he does recall after that point, he’d much rather not have.
“Not much happened. We had some drinks, we talked…” Ben shrugs a shoulder, stiff and jerky. “You got drunk faster than I expected; but you didn’t embarrass yourself or anything, if that’s what you’re asking,” he adds, sending him a quick smile. “You’re a pretty composed drunk, actually. I’m envious.”
That isn’t how Armitage remembers it.
“You said you wanted to go home, so I got you home. I was just gonna help you into something comfortable and leave, honest; but you asked me to stay.” Ben runs his teeth over his bottom lip. “I did.”
That much Armitage could piece together himself. Ben knows how Armitage safeguards his privacy; he wouldn’t have intruded upon it unasked. “And?” Ben frowns in confusion—as if Armitage doesn’t know him enough to tell when he is faking it. He pins Ben with his General Hux stare. “What aren’t you telling me, Ben?”
Flickers of emotions pass through Ben’s face—anger and despair and resignation before it settles on a careful blankness that trembles with all it’s trying to cover. “You said—you asked me to stay forever.”
Blood freezes in Armitage’s veins.
“And you know I’m a fuckin’ idiot,” Ben continues, running a hand through his hair. “And I was a little drunk myself, so I didn’t realise it was the drink talking.” He sends a cautious glance at Armitage. “I promised to stay.”
Forever.
Armitage must be a fucking idiot as well, because his heart soars at the sound of that.
He shakes his head to dispel the wistfulness threatening to blur his vision. “Well, we’d both been drinking. People say things they don’t mean while drunk.” Ben said as much himself. “I won’t hold you to your drunken rambling.”
“That’s just it, though,” Ben says quietly. His expression is difficult to make out; but the look in his eyes—soft and intense—makes Armitage feel paper-thin and seen-through, as if Ben can read every silly thought passing through his head. “I meant every word.”
A fist grips his throat.
He takes a deep, deep breath, his lungs sitting wrong in his chest. In Ben’s guarded tone is a question he doesn’t know how to answer. The thing about their arrangement—it works, because it is casual. Even Armitage can’t ruin something casual—even if it hasn’t been that way for him for quite some time. Even if he gets the occasional, fleeting impression that it might not be for Ben, either. With the days ticking by fast, trying for anything serious would have been like building a house on quicksand.
If he truly asks Ben to stay with him, forever, and Ben listens—they can’t keep it casual after that. That is uncharted territory. What if they start a—a relationship and they can’t make it work? What if Armitage fucks up? What if Ben hates him for it?
What if he becomes Ben’s biggest regret, too?
His palms burn sweetly—he grips the warm mug harder to keep from scratching at them. “I thought you hated Arkanis,” he says, disgusted with how feeble his voice comes out. “Would you uproot your whole life to live here?” Because Armitage asked it of him?
“It has its charms,” Ben says with a crooked smile. “And I uprooted my life when I joined Snoke’s company—got nothing tying me to the Core Worlds anymore. Arkanis is as good a country to live as any.”
Armitage begs to differ. “Would Snoke even let you off your leash permanently?” he asks, half-joking. Snoke’s reliance on his protégé is an open secret; Armitage can’t imagine he would be thrilled to have Armitage steal Ben away.
Ben’s expression smooths over again.
Ice slides down Armitage’s spine. “Ben?”
Ben shifts on his seat, rubbing at his stubble. “Snoke offered me a position here,” he practically confesses, not meeting his eyes. “He wants to build a weapons design department. Separate from engineering. If I said yes, you and I would be working alongside each other as heads of our offices.”
Armitage’s guts unknot. When Snoke mentioned it, he thought Snoke was going to throw three incompetent fools under a new name just to shut Armitage up about it. Under Ben’s lead, a design department would thrive. “What did you say?”
“Nothing yet. Wanted to talk to you first.” Ben flashes him a wild grin that rides the line between excited and panicked. “I mean, it would suck if I accepted the job and you were looking forward to having me gone after Starkiller, y’know?”
Yes, Armitage knows the feeling very well. The part that doesn’t fit is hearing it from Ben’s lips—Ben, who tends to exude an aura of confidence so thick, Armitage feels emboldened merely by standing next to him. Ben, who is quick to anger and quicker to smile; but never, ever to doubt himself.
Ben, who is watching him like his life hangs on Armitage’s next word.
Warmth that doesn’t belong in winter rising in him, Armitage smiles. “You should take the job,” he says, broken pieces slotting into place in his mind’s eye. Not the only one indeed. “Arkanis is a sight to see in the spring.”
#Bad Things Happen Bingo#kylux advent#kylux#Armitage Hux#Kylo Ren#Star Wars#Cai does words#finished fics#just going to rework inches and miles into something new I said#it shouldn't take long I said#I won't work on it longer if it isn't done today I said#I lied
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Sunburn [Prince Zuko] 8
Warnings: None Rating: PG-13 Pairings: Zuko/OC Summary: “You have everything you’ve ever wanted.” “No.” He said softly. “Not everything…” His golden eyes looked at her with a melting intensity she had never witnessed before. “I guess not.” She responded with glassy eyes as tears welled up threatening to break the dam of her eyes.
My fanfiction: M A S T E R L I S T
A brown speck floated in a blue vastness in the middle of a lost sea.
Tsai lay on a boat she had stolen back in Mo Ce regretting every single decision she had done in her short life. Her moral compass had been askew. She could not believe she had actually stolen a humble fisherman's boat back at the docks. Why did she think she would be able to navigate a boat with absolutely no sailing experience? She had been lost at sea for days. Her only guide had been the north star which would compass her in the direction of the Northern Water Tribe. It seemed simple enough at the time. The air had been growing colder as the days passed and she thought she was approaching north due to the drastic climate change. She presently lay across the deck sprawled out like a starfish. Her skin was being burnt by the vicious sun, she was starving and was severely dehydrated.
Having had left Prince Zuko's ship in a rush she hadn't even manage to bring her belongings with her. Only picked up some supplies at the local village with the little money she carried on her person.
She regretted leaving home. She regretted attempting to follow her grandfather's dream.
Freeing the Avatar. Following Iroh on this fool's errand. The worst part is that nobody would know what happened to her now. She would die a disgrace to her clan. She would bring shame to her family. To her grandfather's name. It was then that she thought of him. She thought about him every day. Would he be embarrassed of her?
She sighed and closed her eyes- at this rate - she'd ask him herself soon...
Xxx
A cool sensation brushed against the auburn hair girl's skin. The cold wind made her shiver as she was able to regain the sensation in her skin. She turned over pulling herself together in a fetal position and her eyes cracked open to see a blurry blue shaped figure kneeling before her. Water dripped down her chin- water.
She parted her lips open and drank.
Xxx
"I'm not one to complain," a male voice whined. "But can't Appa fly any higher?"
Distorted conversations had resounded in her ears from a while now. Some were incoherent others more distinguishable.
'What's an Appa?'
"I have an idea! Why don't we all get on your back and you could fly us to the North Pole!" Another voice retorted. This one was younger, a bit more child-like.
"I'd love to," the original voice retorted dripping with sarcasm. "Climb on everyone, Sokka's ready for takeoff."
"W-what's a Sokka?" she mumbled slowly opening her eyes returning to the world with partial consciousness.
She slowly sat up leaning on her elbows and touching her head with her other hand she had a pulsating headache and found herself being covered by a heavy wool blanket.
"She's awake!" A female voice announced loudly.
Tsai took a minute to look at the two people that were gathered around her. Both had tanned brown skin, their eyes were blue and their hair was dark brown. They were wearing parkas in traditional Water Tribe fashion. They looked oddly familiar for some reason.
"Who are you?" She said attempting to scoot away from these strangers. "You're safe now," the girl spoke in tone which was not welcoming. She pulled out a cantaloupe and offered the girl some water which she desperately took in hopes it would quench her burning thirst.
Tsai eyed the girl with the loopy hairstyle through the corner of her eye. Her expression was bitter towards her. She could tell that for whatever reason this girl did not like her.
"We found your ship," the girl explained. "Aang said he had a feeling he had to go down and that's where we found you. You were dehydrated and sunburnt. We don't know how long you were out at sea."
She simply remained still taking it all in. Lowering her head in shame.
Her eyes drifted up and she saw a pair of large grey eyes starring back at her. The arrow above his forehead unmistakable. The Avatar. Then it all clicked together. She was flying on top of the Avatar's flying bison. The Avatar was on board and these two Water Tribe people were his loyal team mates.
"You're Prince Zuko's girlfriend?" The male with the fade haircut and ponytail accused. It was more of statement than a question. His eyebrow was raised in suspicion and mistrust.
The red tint that spread across her features did not go amiss to the group. She didn't want to think about her last moments with him. They were too painful. It was too much, too many complicated emotions to dissect at the moment.
"He wishes." She let out what sounded like a humorous huff. "My name is Tsai," she explained reclaiming her identity. She hoped they would come to know her as more than her association to the Fire Nation's prince. She proceed to explain her entire story and to tell them about when she saved Aang at the Pohuai Stronghold and how they met again in the Abbey and how she ran away to meet them at the Northern Water Tribe.
"This is you!" The teenage boy suddenly pulled out a parchment from a bag. It was the WANTED poster her brother had sent her. The one in which she went by the alias of Haru.
"Eyup," she said lazily. She wasn't proud of her wanted poster. Of the shame she had brought to her family and to her name. It wouldn't be long until somebody identified her and wrote her real name down. The thought of it made her stomach churn uncomfortably. Speaking of stomachs a sharp pain in her gut suddenly made her bent over.
"Here," The girl said fishing out what looked like dried nuts and seeds and handed it over to her. "Eat them slowly." She instructed and avoided Tsai's hand not wanting to touch or even be around her.
Regardless the girl was grateful for their kindness and began eating. "This is my brother Sokka, I'm Katara and you've met Aang." She said signaling to the Avatar.
"How do we know we can trust you?" Sokka still asked warily rubbing his chin. "First of all," she said weakly raising up an index finger. "I'm a non bender- what harm could I possibly do?" "Hey!" He protested. "I'm a non bender too! And I can do a lot of damage!" He whined fuming.
"She saved my life once Sokka, and because of it now hers is on the line," Aang interrupted taking his eyes off the horizon ahead of them. Sokka nodded, it made sense to him.
"Avatar-" Tsai began. "Aang, just Aang," he smiled over his shoulder.
"Aang. I wanted to talk to you-" she struggled to keep her eyes open. "About equality. I want all parties in this war to be equal."
Suddenly feeling faint. The girl laid back down, her eyes slowly shutting. She guessed her conversation with the Avatar would have to wait until some other time. And just like that she fell asleep once more. This time feeling more at peace than before.
Xxx
Moments later the group had been welcomed in to the Northern Water Tribe with open arms. Tsai only came back into consciousness when they arrived at the palace. Where everything was cold and crafted out of snow. She didn't like this place, it was cold, void, and everything was way too neat. For the first time in what seemed to be forever she felt home sick. She wanted to go back to Yu Dao and simply be in her room with Mecha or be in the indoor garden watching the swimming koi with her mother. Maybe even pestering her father while he attended his governing duties.
"Well, nobody likes this style anyways," one of the Waterbenders that had welcomed them had said when handing the colonial girl a parka which was a beige color and some dark brown pants and boots. "They haven't been dyed yet,"the bender had explained. "In these areas you have to stay warm. You could get frost bite or even hypothermia and that's it. So make sure to be aware of your temperature." he had warned. "don't get wet."
Presently Aang and his gang sat in a long table inside of the Northern Water Tribe's snow palace. Tsai wondered if anybody from the Fire Nation had ever been inside here as a guest. She sat in the same row as the Avatar next to the Southern Water Tribe siblings she had now learned were named Sokka and Katara. They sat with their legs crossed as the leader of this tribe, Arnook, had decided to host a feast in their honor. Despite her exhaustion and hunger Tsai sat like she had been taught to her whole life, with her back straight and her chin up. Drums were being beaten in the background. She kept her eyes focused on the massive fountain that decorated the center of the room.
It wasn't the right time, but she wanted to have a serious conversation with Arnook and with Aang. The future of the Fire Nation and of Yu Dao depended on it.
"Tonight, we celebrate the arrival of our brother and sister from the Southern Tribe. And they brought with them one of the last Airbenders and someone very special, someone whom many of us believed disappeared from the world until now...The Avatar! Not only have they brought the Avatar, but the last Airbenders as well!" Arnook said grandly, gesturing to his guests. The crowd cheered and applauded, "We also celebrate my daughter's sixteenth birthday. Princess Yue is now of marrying age!"
The edge of Tsai's eye twitched slightly. Arnook was suddenly beginning to sound a lot like her mother.
Suddenly a beautiful white-haired girl whom Tsai assumed to be Princess Yue stepped forward with two older women walking on either side and slightly behind her. Princess Yue smiled and briefly bowed her head demurely towards her father. She was beautiful. Her eyes were a striking blue, her hair white like rays of moon. She found herself unable to remove her eyes from her, feeling strangely drawn to her spirit.
"Thank you, Father." She said graciously then addressed the crowd, "May the great Ocean and Moon spirits watch over us during these troubled times!"
"Now, Master Pakku and his students will perform!" Arnook exclaimed, gesturing with one arm towards the three men standing on a raised platform across from the head table.
The older man, Master Pakku and the two younger men began Waterbending to significant bubbles of water from three large jugs in front of the raised platform, completely captivating the crowds. Aang and Katara were in awe as the two applauded almost jumping up from their seats. Tsai had never seen Waterbenders before, usually she would've been starring in awe but her hunger was too much and she began to as polished as possible eat the giant sea crab that had just been boiled, platypus bear, pickled fish and tentacle soup. Basically everything and anything that was in front of her. She ate as if she hadn't eaten in days, which to be fair she hadn't. And for dessert she had the sea prune stew. All delicious flavors that were unknown to her palette. Tsai was too busy eating that she did not notice the princess walking over and taking a seat besides Sokka who instantaneously stopped eating when he saw her. He swallowed a mouthful of food and brushed his hands clean against his clothes before leaning an elbow against the table as he attempted to look as cool and as nonchalant as possible.
"More for me," smirked Tsai as she helped herself to Sokka's food. He glared at her and it was then that the princess was starring at her intently. Her blue orbs frozen on her face. Magnetized. Tsai couldn't stop herself from starring as well. This sensation.. it was odd. She had never felt it before. It was emotional, it called more to her spirit.
It was then that her stomach grumbled. She snapped out of the trance and smiled politely before continuing to eat.
Moments later she sat with both hands on her stomach which now churned painful.
'Why did I eat so much?' She slouched slightly. Eyes focused on Arnook and the Avatar as she rehearsed the rhetoric she would say to them in separate meetings. She played a game of ping pong in her head, strategizing how the conversation would go. Snapping out of her train of thoughts she kept her eyes fixed on the Water Tribe leader as he lead Aang and Katara to Master Pakku who was standing on a raised platform. She watched the interaction and saw the water bending master walking away and Katara storming out. She didn't hesitate in flashing Tsai a deathly glare on her way out as she left the dinner party.
'What did I do?' She thought confused.
Once again exhaustion burdened her shoulders as she slowly leaned forward on the dinning table something which she considered to be extremely rude.
'No. I have to talk to him.' She decided determinedly and stood up approaching both Arnook and Aang who were at the center of the celebration.
Like most people from the Water Tribe Arnook had dark hair, skin and a set of striking blue eyes. He looked older than he should've due to the stress of the war.
"Chief Arnook," She approached them and bowed slightly stretching her hands out like she had always been educated in Fire Nation fashion.
His eyes widened slightly as he was taken aback by the gesture.
"My name is Tsai, I'm from Yu Dao, I'm-" She was interrupted.
"Fire Nation!" He said angrily.
She was taken aback by his reaction.
"You have brought a member of the Fire Nation to my tribe?" Arnook turned to scowl angrily at Aang.
"It's not like that," Aang defended. "She's not with the Fire Nation. She's with us."
"What if she leads them here? What if it is a trap? No Fire Nation citizen has set food in the North Pole in the last one hundred years! There is a reason why we have been able to survive this war for so long!"
"I'm-I mean no ill-" Tsai tumbled over her words as she struggled to find the proper thing to say. Everything she had rehearsed in her head before had just gone down the drain.
"Get out of my home!" He shouted. "You are not welcome here!"
She looked at him shellshocked her mouth gaping from the shock of his rejection.
"And your friend best be on her best behavior. She'll be watched closely. I'll be sure of it." He spoke menacingly before retreating.
Aang looked at her unsure of what to say and simply placed a comforting hang on her shoulder.
"Why? Why did he react in that way?" She asked confused. "I know the Fire Nation is at war, but I present no threat. I didn't even get to thank him for the meal," she said sadly.
Aang remained unsure of what to say. He really didn't meddle in these political matters.
"You'll have your chance to," he said with optimism before giving her shoulder a second pat. The girl let out a pessimistic sigh slightly dropping her head to the side. They decided to get out of here but before leaving Tsai noticed Arnook's daughter, the princess, still looking at her intently.
Some moments later they were escorted to a chamber outside the palace premises were Tsai and the others gave into sleep.
Xxx
Zuko was restless. He was sick of being on the ship. He was sick of sitting down, of laying down, of pacing up and down his small room. He was presently leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. His glare was fixed on a blank spot on the wall.
The events of the past days replaying on his head over and over again. Losing the Avatar.
Fighting Tsai.
Losing Tsai.
He had single handedly ran her out of his presence. He had done it again. He was completely alone, but most of all. He hated how her absence made her feel. Worst of all his uncle wouldn't shut up about how much she missed her and how she was the best Pai Sho player on board.
It was then that the metal door to his chamber open and Uncle Iroh poked his head inside.
"For the last time. I'm not playing the tsungi horn!" He snapped angrily.
"No, it's about our plans." Iroh said worriedly as he looked at his nephew carefully and stepped further into the dimly lit room, "There's a bit of a problem."
Zuko turned to see Admiral Zhao stepped into the room then, standing slightly behind Iroh as he stared at the banished prince coldly. That proud bastard stood tall with a smug expression on his face.
"I'm taking your crew." The Admiral stated matter-of-factly with a smirk on his face.
"What?!" Zuko demanded, pushing himself a way from the wall and moving to stand a foot or so away from the admiral.
"I'm taking them for a little expedition to the North Pole." Zhao said with a vile smirk on his face as he enjoyed the sight of the of the seething prince.
"Uncle, is that true?" Zuko asked in disbelief as he looked over Zhao's shoulder at his uncle.
"I'm afraid so. He's taking everyone." Iroh confirmed then covered his eyes with his arm in sadness, "Even the cook."
"Sorry you won't be there to watch me capture the Avatar." Zhao sneered down at the prince, "But I can't have you getting in my way again."
Zuko growled and charged towards Zhao with fire burning his eyes only for Iroh to move forward and stop him by putting his hands on his chest.
"No!" Iroh gasped, keeping his hands raised slightly as he and Zuko watched Zhao walk towards to crossed broadswords hanging on the wall of Zuko's cabin. His eyes growing slightly as recognition flickered through his eyes. He began connecting some dots in his head.
"I didn't know you were skilled with broadswords, Prince Zuko." Zhao stated with feigned interested as he picked up one of the swords, remembering how the Blue Spirit had used the same kind of swords back at the Pohuai Stronghold to rescue the Avatar.
"I'm not." Zuko replied and looked off to the side, "They're antiques, just decorative."
Zhao scrutinized the prince skeptically then began examining the broadsword in his hand as he addressed Iroh, "Have you heard of the Blue Spirit, General Iroh?"
"Just rumors." Iroh answered flippantly, "I don't think he's real."
"He's real alright. He's a criminal and an enemy of the Fire Nation." Zhao stated as he walked towards the other two then twisted the sword so the blade was facing down as he held it out to Iroh, who took the broadsword from the Admiral's hand. "And so is his accomplice," it was then that he pulled out a parchment from his back pocket. It was a WANTED poster with the drawing of a an auburn haired girl that was more than familiar to both Zuko and Iroh. Iroh's poker face was impressive almost worthy of award recognition. Zuko's could've used some work. He gritted the back of his teeth.
"Seem familiar?" the Admiral arched an eyebrow as he attempted to dissect the expressions on their faces for the slightest hint of a tattle tale give away.
"Tsai of Yu Dao also goes by the alias of Haru. Reports say that she fled Yu Dao some time ago. Came to the Stronghold and working together with the Blue Spirit freed the Avatar. She was last seen at the docks near the Abbey. Strange coincidence that that the two of us were in the same place... at the same time," he said trailing off as he eyed the two of them suspiciously.
So that's why she had left. She hadn't left because of him. She had left to protect them! She probably knew that Zhao would come hunting her down and fled before they associated her with them.
It was then that Iroh let out a loud laugh and patted his stomach.
"But she's the daughter of the Vice Royal Governor," Iroh laughed once again. "You really think the teenage daughter of the Vice Royal Governor snuck into a military fortress and freed the Avatar? And I thought you didn't have a sense of humor," he laughed. When Iroh painted it the scenario sounded absolutely ridiculous.
Zhao seethed as he boiled in anger feeling slightly humilliated.
"I have a feeling that justice will catch up with them soon. Specially with that little slut," It took every muscle in his body to keep Zuko from lounging at Zhao. Fists clenched at his side. He could feel his Uncle's gaze fixed on him. "Sounds personal," Iroh commented. Zhao ignored the comment and continued as he walked towards the door to the cabin and paused in the doorway with one hand on the door, "General Iroh, the offer to join my mission still stands...if you change your mind."
Zuko's jaw clenched as he and his uncle watched the other man leave the room, closing the metal door behind him.
Xxx
The next morning Tsai awoke feeling like a brand new person. Well rested and well fed she awoke and took her time doing her routine. It was hard not to be annoyed by Katara who excitedly chattered about how excited she was for her first waterbending lesson.
"What are you going to do today Tsai?" Aang asked as they got ready to leave for breakfast.
She paused for a moment. She had to have a conversation with him and with Arnook at some point, but it would have to wait. It had to be done correctly at the correct place at the correct time. Also it's not like she had money to shop around the market or buy any teas.
"Explore," she spoke ominously after a moment. She really wasn't in the highest of spirits. She meditated writing to her brother. Lost in thought she decided to explore the window show the local market.
The market was cold, filled with fish, sea food and other traditional Water Tribe artifacts such as carved necklaces and bead bracelets. She looked at the sea prunes and vast variety of roots, sea flora and fauna on the stalls. Some seemed familiar and she could identify from the many levels of encyclopedia she had read back in the palace. She would've love to try more of their delicacies but didn't even have the money to spend. Word of her being from the Fire Nation spread like wildfire and all villagers were wary of her. Hiding merchandise and glaring at her with pure hatred which confused her to no end. She felt hyper conscious and more alone than ever. Being shunned like that from all the others.
Talking to Arnook was going to be harder than she had expected. Feeling a presence next to her she turned and was surprised to see the white haired sixteen year old, it was Princess Yue.
"Majesty," she lightly bowed her head pressing her palms together as Fire Nation citizens usually did as a sign of respect. Several passersby gasped at this.
"Yue will do," she swatted her hand down reaching for her hands lowering them. "You're a princess too, right?" She asked the auburn hair girl
She smiled kindly at her in response. "Not quite," Tsai cracked a smile for what seemed to be the first time in forever. "My father is the Viceroyal Governor of Yu Dao, one of the Fire Nation colonies in the Earth Kingdom." She explained. "It's an hereditary title, but I'm afraid we are not royals."
"Want to come shopping with me?" The white haired girl offered her company to the other. With nothing else to do, feeling at ease, warmed and welcomed Tsai gladly accepted the invitation.
"By the way, I love your makeup," the Fire Nation girl complimented.
Xxx
Seeing Tsai and Yue walking together around the Northern Water Tribe was odd- maybe even scandalous. Seeing them together was odd. It was like two sides of the same coin.
Yue had confessed that she was interested in knowing more about her culture. Being the first outsider she had ever met in her life she had become intrigued by what the life of another sixteen year was like in another world. Specially one from the Fire Nation.
Yue showed Tsai around the market and anything that Tsai tried on or said she wanted was given to her as an offering as they all bowed to their beloved princess with respect. By now the girl resembled her old self a little more. Her eyelids were coated with some light brown eyeshadow and her lips with a peony pink lip balm. Nails were again polished dark. Seeing the two teenagers, one with bold auburn hair, the other with white, one wearing yellow the other wearing blue. It was a strong contrast that was not unperceived by others.
"So do you have a boyfriend?" Yue asked as they both sat on a gondola riding to the other side of the city. Yue had insisted that she wanted to show Tsai her favorite spot in the heart of the city.
Tsai hummed as she thought of her answer. Did she? Everyone she met thought Prince Zuko was her boyfriend, but was he?
"Erm- it's complicated," she admitted with a sheepish grin. Yue raised an eyebrow intrigued by the story. "Well," she ran a hand through her hair nervously. She wasn't home were she could have girl talk with her friends and it's not like she could talk about this with Katara. She would immediately know who she was talking about and shun her just like all the others.
"Well- the last time I saw him we were on his boat and we got in a fight," she began sadly.
Unknowingly to Tsai, Yue was picturing the most romantic scenario possible. A gondola in a pond and a verbal argument, not a physical one like it had been.
"We were on his boat and he kissed me mid argument," she blushed. "That is so romantic!" The other girl cooed. "I was so surprised I just- froze. You see he's- odd, complicated, mysterious-" "You are so crushing on him," the white haired girl gushed as they continued walking. Tsai felt her ears turn red. She shook her head and focused on the story. "And since I didn't kiss him back he took it as a rejection." "Was it one?" The other inquired surprised. "No- well- yes, erm- kind of," Tsai shook her head, eyes closed. "He's just! He can be such a child sometimes! He has a lot of growing up to do. Besides I can't deal with all of his baggage and inner demons," she shrugged. "That's something he has to figure out himself. You know what I mean?" "You sound so sure. I wish I was half as mature as you are," Yue sighed. "Trust me I am neither of those things," Tsai rolled her eyes before letting out a laugh. "I don't know what love is supposed to be or feel like, but I do know it doesn't call you a "pest" and push your buttons."
"Did I mention toxic?" She added.
"Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun. You're lucky you're not a royal. Most of us have arranged marriages and even then all the boys here are so dull. You know one you know them all. I really wish I could meet someone different," she sighed with a slight frown.
It was then that a voice called out her name.
"Princess Yue, good morning!" Sokka called out when he saw the Northern Water Tribe princess's gondola pass under the bridge he'd been standing on and he quickly ran down the steps and along the small path beside the canal until he caught up with Yue's boat.
"Somebody like Sokka perhaphs?" the red-head sniggered. Yue elbowed her to keep quiet with a giggle.
"Hey, how about that picnic last night?" Sokka questioned as he slowed to a walk alongside their boat and rubbed the back of his head as he caught his breath, "Boy, your dad sure knows how to throw a party."
"Yeah, Sokka would've eaten the entire Giant Crab if Katara hadn't stopped him," Tsai teased. Sokka flashed her a deathly glare and Yue tried to stiffle her laugher. "I'm happy you enjoyed yourself." She replied sincerely with a slight smile as she looked at the boy.
"Well, it wasn't as much fun after you left." Sokka confessed then blushed which caused the white haired princess to blush as well.Tsai rolled her eyes a smile on her face.
Sokka cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "So, I'm still hoping we could see more of each other."
"Do an activity, you mean?" Yue asked in amusement as she watched the boy struggle from the corner of her eye, her lips curled in a small smile. Tsai giggled with her friend. She strongly fought the urge to make a sarcastic comments.
"Yes!" Sokka agreed eagerly, then awkwardly continued as he gestured with his hands, "At a place...for some time."
"I'd love to. I'll meet you on that bridge tonight." Yue said with a light laugh as she pointed towards the bridge in front of her.
"Great! I'll see you-Ah!" Sokka's happy reply was cut off by him yelping as he walked off the small ice path and into the water.
Both girls giggled behind their hands, peering behind her as the gondola continued moving forward.
"Sorry." She apologized and waved slightly with one hand. "That was adorable," Tsai laughed. "He's so cute!" Yue commented back with a blush "I-I just, I feel like I shouldn't lead him on," she said softly. Tsai had seen Sokka snoring the night before and picking his ear wax in the morning, in her eyes he wasn't that type but didn't want to ruin Yue's day dream. "Lead him on? There's no harm in just getting to know him," she advised wisely.
She spaced out for a moment imagining if Zuko would ever do something like that for her. She raised her eyebrows at the horrible imagery.
"Go out with me!" He would probably state bluntly sounding more of a demand than an invitation his cheeks red. For some reason there was also fire blazing in the background. She shook her head.
"So what are you wearing?" She gushed excited for her friend.
Some moments later they were at the spot that Yue had mentioned. It was a serene bond at the heart of the Water Tribe. Even the air felt warmer as they approached it. An oasis of peace blossomed in the midst of the snowy desert. At the end under a falling waterfall was some lush greenery growing, mist clouded the secluded area. Not a single sound could be heard.
"What is this place?" Tsai asked softly feeling like she might be disrespectful if she raised her voice. They both crossed a wooden bridge that lead to the island in the center of the body of water.
"This is the Spirit Oasis. It is the center of all spiritual energy in our land," Yue explained as they stood a foot away from the pond. In it Tsai could see two koi fish swimming. One was black with a white spot and the other identical in contrast. The fish swam in circles around each other in what seemed like an eternal dance of push and pull.
"Why have you brought me here?" Tsai asked perplexed as she removed her eyes from the koi fish and turned to look at her friend.
"I'm afraid I haven't been completely honest with you," Yue apologized. "I'm not interested in knowing about your culture or your life in the Fire Nation's colonies."
Tsai looked at her impatiently with an arched eyebrow.
"When I first saw you- when I met you- I felt a strange connection to you. As if we already knew each other." She explained.
The red-head was silent for a moment. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here-" Yue began turning away.
"No," Tsai raised a hand. "I felt it too." She spoke suddenly. "Almost like a pull?"
Yue stopped in her way and turned to face her friend.
"I feel like I've known you for a lifetime," the girl from the colonies confessed. It was such an odd feeling...
"I just had the feeling we had to be here. Together. The two of us." Yue explained. Tsai lowered her eyes to look at the two fish in the pond it looked as if she was almost hypnotized or in a trance.
Her mind went blank for a moment and she could've sworn she saw a bright light and felt a comforting heat before snapping out of it. She touched her arms feeling warm almost toasty. It was that pleasant feeling you get after a long day at the beach. She felt as if she had just been sun kissed.
xxx
AN: Oooohhh So what are we thinking? Why do you guys think Katara dislikes Tsai so much?
xxxx
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CHAPTER MASTERLIST
#zuko#prince zuko#zukoxreader#Zuko x oc#Zuko x you#oc#atla#avatar#avatar the last airbender#avatar fanfic#avatar x oc#avatar fanfiction#fanfiction#fan fiction
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the thirst tweets yza 😭😭😭 i cannot. as much as fun this was, we were so close to getting jaebs with cats <//3
headlocking sk 😭😭 DJJDSKSK i would stand there like wonu clapping in the soop, for you <3. it's hindi ( actually it's my 2nd language but i speak in it the most w ppl outside of family djdjdjk ) my mother tongue is almost dwording djdjdkdk </3 i think im last gen who still speaks it, kids these days only know hindi or english.
ALSO!!! the footwork in senses choreo???? i liked it sm <3 yugyeom makes it look so easy to move like that?!?
same jdjdkddk godddd sometimes it takes a month to complete a drama which i like and started on my own will and sometimes it only takes 3 days. it doesn't matter how much i love something if i won't watch it, then I won't watch or consume it at all 💀.
ohhh, i've known jamie as an after school club mc first and singer second. like there was this time i was suddenly obsessed w eric nam's before we begin album i think around that time i first listened to one or two songs of jamie ( it was all spotify's doing jddjks) but then i forgot abt both and went back to listening to my regular ones. honestly i feel like i've gotten to know and appreciate jype artists ( those i know ) more, only after they've changed agencies it could just be me or my timing tho djdjdjh. have you listened to hanbin's solo album? honestly it's been no.1 album from 1st half of 2021 for me. i was not even looking forward to it or even knew djdjsk but i'm so glad i did i really like the songs & lyrics.
almost whatever jackson has released after mirrors has been to my taste leaving few bsides here and there. i love lmly <3 idk why for some reason i tend to mix pretty please and lmly up a lot djdjsk maybe it's bc of white tee and jeans. both mvs concept and songs are fantastic but if i have to pick one w/ mv & only considering the song, i do love lmly a little bit more then pretty please. wbu? <3
mark kept saying ' when we go back ' during the live so i got more confused each time, went on twt and got to know djdjdk. twt list of both svt & got7 of update accounts is like my newspaper, in free time i open it to see what is going on, sometimes jdjddk.
and of course i know abt woozi's cover <3 i've listened to it a lot jdjdksk he's so <//3
i could listen to his voice all day.
there is one cover of 10 cm hoshi dropped last year i like it sm <3 it made me so happy!!, around that i was obsessed with some of 10 cm's songs. help is one of my most favorite.
i really really wish for dokyeom to cover more day6 songs or just any songs </3 would really appreciate one from mr. joshu_acoustic too 😿.
did you see the way dokyeom woke up with a smile on his face in 5th in the sopp ep <//3 he's so precious 😭 (i'll try to link next time idk links go through asks tho djjddj sometimes tumblr eats it up). i don't even know what a smile is for first 2 hours after i've woken up. also i think i like this (sk coming and karaoke one - 5th) ep a lil more bc of that half minute of singer cheol it served us. i need him to sing more omg <//3
the soop song tho it's so sweet 😭💕. i love love how they brainstorm and make songs it's such an interesting process. i love what going seventeen is now but i miss watching the song making & recording process (even rho they do show it in inse after cb but jdjdks). the one where they made gose song, recorded it and made choreo/mv i love. it's still remains as one of my most favorite ep. they compose & write songs so smoothly & make it look so effortless <3
thank you for letting me ramble abt silly little things and responding to them, yza <3 love hanging out w/ you. i hope you're also having fun djjddj (i'll try to keep these short fr 😭 djdkdk i feel a bit bad for making you read so much nonsense :3)
take care of yourself, yza <3 sending good week wishes. - 🪂🪂🪂
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT TO SEE JAEBEOM READ THIRST TWEETS BEFORE MY VERY EYES WHICH ALTERNATE AU IS THIS 😭
also mood tbh we could've gotten something like jacks' puppy vid </3
LIKE WONU CLAPPING FJKDJKFDJFD in true infj fashion <3 wait naurr that's so sad </3 do they not teach it in schools?
ALSO YES OH MY GODDDDDDDDD house king show us ur fancy moves <3 as a fellow dancer i am throwing him my shoe rn <3 also i literally have never seen smth like this in kpop how did people fucking sleep on this icb it..
I FULLY RELATE HELLO????????????????? what dramas have u been watching? and which genres are u into? <3 i also just finished vincenzo today it was so good 😭 took me like.. a week, i think (?), though bc svt has SO MUCH content and i dont like being behind on svt shit esp bc i also run an update blog lmaooo 😭
WAIT I FORGOT SHE ALSO DID EMCEEING 😭 she's such a fun person </3 AND ERIC NAM FDKJDFJK i have one-sided beef w him lmao when he was still new to the scene he would reply to everyone's @s but he never replied to me so i felt v .. </3 (also this is what.. 13 year old me speaking so this def does not reflect how i feel abt him now JKJKFJKDFF) i also get that </3 i feel like jype doesn't manage them well (i dont know shit behind the scenes and shit abt the industry in-depth but u know... it Kind Of Shows esp w how the artists themselves speak abt the agency lol). and i have not!! i am truly a svtpoppie 😭 i will though bc u recommended it to me <3 i also have been seeing him frequently on tiktok lol, ALSO BC OF LEE HI!!
honestly i haven't been keeping up w his albums anymore just the title tracks so i cant say much 😭 i also def prefer lmly over pretty please i was actually obsessed w it for a while!! i love jackson's vision so much though, the cinematography is EVERYTHING
literally reading abt what our boys have been up to like reading the morning paper KJDSFKJDSJKSJKD
V GOOD FOR U TO HAVE COME ACROSS THE COVER... I JUST DISCOVERED IT BY ACCIDENT 😭 also i have to agree although i definitely do not want to admit that i am more than willing to listen to some man sing to me all day 😭😭😭😭😭 jihoon's voice is just... different to me for some reason. i have a hard time picking between him & seokmin tbh </3 hbu, who's ur fave svt vocalist?
ALSO YES THAT WAS SO CUTE OF HIM!! AND V ON BRAND TOO </3 the way u listen to 10cm..... im giving u an award rn <3 im guessing you listen to k-indie too?
DK THOUGH... I'M VERY MUCH WILLING TO ADMIT THAT I'D LISTEN TO HIM ALL DAY.... something about him... AND NOT THE JOSHU_ACOUSTIC FJDJFDJKFD 😭😭😭 i hate his username so much- why... WHY...
I DID!!!!!!!!! and i was so surprised too bc.. who wakes up smiling?????? what'd he dream of???????????? he's such a happy person i cant imagine what thats like 😭 the first thing i do when i wake up is make the >:| face JFJKFDKJFD also oh my god i just read that you're experiencing the same thing 😭😭 bestie trait!! KJJKFDKJFD ALSO YOU COULDN'T BE MORE RIGHT?????????? im always campaigning for vocalist coups im SOOO glad u feel the same way <3 his voice is just so comforting to me </3 idk i just really like his timbre
and v true omg i'm always fascinated to see how they actually work all this out!! the bts recording/choreo making vids are also my favorite gfkjdfkjdfj HOW ARE WE SO SIMILAR WE MIGHT AS WELL BE THE SAME PERSON 😭also jihoon in that gose behind vid........... in universe factory............... i still think about that Look from time to time... 😭this is also why i respect the boys sm tbh. everyone in the industry undeniably works so hard but to actually get this much creative freedom and to basically lead the group and their direction music and performance-wise is so insane to me... no wonder jihoon's always in his studio. i couldnt be happier that they get to live off of doing what they like im also so so proud of them they must work so hard <3 esp w all the content they're giving us.. icb it's always like this in caratland im so used to being an ahgase that gets like.... 1 cb a year😭
AND NOOO OMG DON'T BE SORRY I REALLY LOOOVE GETTING UR MESSAGES </3 and i love how lengthy they are makes me feel like ur just not making small talk (i hate small talk sm 😭) and that you're actually interested <3 i genuinely love bonding w u through these little asks i can never thank u enough for sending them <3 i hope ur having a lovely week as well!! u can always talk to me even if it's not kpop related and u just want to talk abt life or when u need some cheering up <3
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Doing those ship meme questions only it's the new OT3 (Beckett/Sascha/Ilias) because they're my main source of serotonin these days. Occasional appearances from Anatole and Lucita, too.
Not doing all, but there are A Lot.
1. Who's the one who's reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out
Beckett and Sascha actually do have a lot of braincells between them but none of them are in use for 'can sense danger'. Ilias has gained some minor common sense since his 'hey, I'm going to ask our Antediluvian for power to help face its favourite childe oh whoops I am possessed' thing and is usually the one sighing fondly and saving their asses.
2. Who's the one to send the other "I love my gf/bf" memes
Ilias. 100% Ilias. He would go out in public in a shirt saying 'I <3 Sascha' and calling them ‘my flower’ while Sascha is just pleased they can't blush any more.
3. Who's the one who listens to a music genre the other doesn't like and how does the other react
God their music tastes are all over the place. Sascha is over a thousand years old and has seen and heard A Lot. They consider the Romantic period 'modern music'. Beckett is similar albeit with about 350 years of it. Ilias got hurled from 1233 to 2004 and after a period of ??? went, "Oh, Romanian music!" and it was. Dragostea Din Tei. Like can you imagine one moment it’s 1233 and the next moment you are listening to Dragostea Din Tei. Also thanks to the language drift they only caught about a quarter of the words so it was this whole thing where he almost, almost was understanding it but the rest was just, “...what.” And that’s how Ilias discovered modern music.
Anyway yeah they’ve pretty much decided that their collective music tastes are so disparate no one is allowed to comment on them.
4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love
Honestly, they all kind of spoil each other, albeit in different ways. Like Ilias will just randomly pop a handmade flower crown on Sascha’s head. Beckett will occasionally find an extremely rare book on his desk and know Sascha found it for him. Beckett always tells Sascha first when he’s found something cool so they can be the first to investigate it. And they absolutely get competitive, yeah.
5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them
Sascha and Ilias have a mutual blood bond, which is more or less the equivalent of thus. Beckett has a mutual bond with Anatole, but he and Sascha have a level-2 bond.
7. Are their friends/family supportive
Honestly, uh, Sascha and Ilias don’t really have anyone else. Beckett’s companions tend to range from, “They’re terrifying but I trust your judgment :D” (Anatole) to “hahahahahaha if Vykos harms one hair on Beckett’s head I’ll end them” (Lucita) to “WHY” (Aristotle, Okulos, most others tbh).
8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying
Sascha is the one most prone to panic attacks because trauma is a bitch and basically just... Beckett and Ilias both respond by with hugging/gentle restraint (if they’re okay with touch) or by giving them space and doing things like running a hot bath when they’re touch-averse.
9. Which one dissociates
Honestly Sascha spent most of 1234 to 2006 lowkey dissociating, which is fair when there’s literally another essence fused to yours. Post-Dracon, they still get the occasional dissociative episode, but it’s much easier to bring them back to themself.
10. Which one stares at the other's booty like “damn” and how does the other react when catching them
All three tbh. Beckett stares at Sascha, Sascha either gets a bit self-conscious or a bit ;) , depending on mood. Sascha stares at both Beckett and Ilias and gets a bit embarrassed when caught (Beckett will laugh it off, Ilias will basically be ;D). Ilias stares at both and is completely shameless about it because he may no longer be on the Path of Pleasure but he’s absolutely not going to feel ashamed for admiring his gorgeous lovers.
11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?
Beckett and Sascha travel too much for one place, honestly, and Ilias accompanies them a lot. They do have a few houses scattered throughout the world, though, including one in the Carpathians (nowhere near Brasov, tyvm). Not really as big as the monastery, it’s mostly like... big library, a few comfortable places to sleep or rest, Ilias likes having a garden these days and grows a lot of flowers.
12. What do their dates look like
Museum heists.
13. How does each act when getting drunk
Ilias gets even more handsy. Actually he can get to be a bit of a pain, but he does listen immediately if one of them tells him to tone it down. Beckett gets very enthusiastic and fired-up and a bit more feral and he’s gonna go find Enoch right now and prove Caine wasn’t real once and for all. Sascha, uh, tends to get a bit emotional and also very talkative, but can literally like. Talk their way into minor breakdowns. Basically less barriers.
14. Which one rolls over in the morning evening to wake up the other one just to kiss them
All three :3
15. Have they saved each other's lives before
Yup!
Ficverse-wise, Sascha did also save Ilias from becoming a bogatyr to the Eldest, although that was also Sascha and Beckett both saving themselves by being emotionally honest. Yeah XD
16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless
Ilias’ spirituality conflicts a bit with Beckett’s... atheism, I guess? Like he’s definitely not sure he believes in the spirits that Ilias regularly works with as a Koldun, but he’s willing to keep a relatively open mind. (He’s a bit less open-minded in Sascha’s belief in - and support of - Caine, given that he’s literally based his career around the metaphor theory!)
17. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images
Sascha.
They have troll tendencies, okay.
18. Does one of them kinkshame the other
There is absolutely no kinkshaming here. Listen Ilias was a Priest of Jarilo. Sascha was once on the Path of Pleasure too. Beckett seduced Dracula for information then forgot to ask his question. They’re all very open about everything.
There may be teasing about the odd hobby or interest but it’s pretty lighthearted.
19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them
Beckett occasionally has Moments over his hands and worries about hurting Sascha or something. They basically respond by being like “are you kidding the claws are hot as hell”. On occasion, Beckett will get one of them to Vicissitude them down if he wants to use his hands more, although they’ll regrow and be achey for a night or two afterwards.
20. Say they were cuddling on the bed while listening to record player playing the background. Which song is playing?
Honestly I want to say Third Eye by Florence + the Machine just for fic reasons. When I was writing Mantle I saw it very much as Beckett towards Sascha, but it fits with Ilias towards them as well.
I have no idea how they would have discovered F+tM but anyway.
23. What kinda joyrides do they go on? Relaxing ones or wild ones?
It. I imagine it usually involves police chases. When it doesn’t Beckett will occasionally go wolf so he can stick his head out the car window like :P
Shh don’t tell anyone.
25. Do people ever get annoyed of their pda
God probably. One of the main exceptions is Anatole, who’ll basically go, “Oh! Are we cuddling?” and flop on top of Beckett.
27. Which one’s the red, which one’s the blue
They’re all red. Fear. Ilias is probably closest to blue.
28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope
Sascha has both PTSD (from Symeon and Michael, and from the Eldest) and C-PTSD (from being bound to the Dracon for literal centuries). Also depression and anxiety, which are... pretty common with those. See question 8 for some of the coping methods, the rest is just... taking each day as it comes. Like they’ve lived a very long time, but they only got free of the Dracon in 2006, so it’s still a very new thing.
Ilias has some trauma from some of the things he’s had to do to survive since waking up with the Thirst of Ages, and gets into guilt spirals on occasion. He mostly focuses on Path of Nocturnal Redemption methods to work through it; he’s kind of adverse to anyone seeing him vulnerable like that. He knows Sascha has done some awful shit, but they weren’t themself at the time so Ilias feels it doesn’t count, and Beckett is like, Humanity 6? He just doesn’t get it, so Ilias keeps it to himself.
Beckett has an odd, acquired one - his experiences in Jerusalem left him with the ability (if it could be called an ability!) to occasionally hear the Cobweb (the Malkavian Madness Network). While his connection isn’t nearly as strong as an actual Malkavian’s, he does get odd flashes of Insight; less helpfully, it can occasionally get, uh, loud in his head. This tends to ramp up a bit with proximity to Malkavians, so when he’s around Anatole, Anatole will help him filter the voices and thoughts out by teaching him meditation techniques. (Given that Anatole - correctly - feels responsible for Beckett being afflicted thus, he wants to make sure it doesn’t hit his lover too badly.)
29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there
Give Beckett head scritchies and he’ll turn into a puddle :3
34. Are they a reckless couple or safe
*loud, prolonged laughter*
37. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up?
Sascha and Ilias are usually... very chill; if they argue, it’s over the other’s safety, like Ilias wanting to do something reckless and Sascha being very much ‘please do not’. Sascha and Beckett argue a bit more, although thankfully they have now stopped trying to literally kill each other XD When they do, it’s usually ideological, related to Gehenna, Caine, et cetera. Sascha is still very much a part of the Sabbat, and Beckett is, well, basically an atheist.
40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them
All three tbh. Here’s a fun bit from the novel:
Still really dig this bit from BJD, too!
No misgendering on Beckett’s watch!
42. How would one react if the other was to die
Uh.
Poorly.
Like most of Sascha’s sanity slippage was due to the Dracon’s essence being fused to their own and just how the Eldest... did that, but a good part of it was absolutely due to Ilias’ death.
43. Who dies first
...canonically, Ilias XD;;
It’s okay he gets better.
#vampire the masquerade#feral nerd#mx meat crimes#tzinnamon roll#caymanshipping#heartflowershipping#ivoryringshipping
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Entry 13: Corrin’s Boat Dreams
The arena is open now, which means I can force units to fight to feed my gambling addiction. The game choses a random unit and random enemy for you and you get resources if they win. It’s very lacking, especially when compared to arenas in other Fire Emblem games.
At the end of the last entry we got a new unit: Kagero. So, time to do the thing I do in these entries and talk about her.
Kagero
Kagero is Ryoma’s other retainer, also a ninja, who has stats that make her a glass canon. Her personal skill makes her better at fighting other units who wield shurikens. She hasn’t really shown much personality yet, so I can’t talk about that, but I can definitely talk about her design. I love the scarf and the hair that covers her face. On the other hand, tiddies. This royal guard has massive boobs and deep cleavage, because Intelligent Systems knows their audience. To be fair, attractive female characters aren’t necessarily bad, and the game at the very least does have female characters who aren’t super fanservicey. I actually don’t mind Kagero as much as say, Tharja or Camilla, because she seems to have a personality beyond sexy. Probably. Been a while since I played this game.
Support: Corrin/Takumi
C: Corrin tries striking up a chat with Takumi, but he is hostile towards her, because of the whole backstory thing. See entry six for clarification. Anyway, Corrin suggests Takumi teaches her archery as an excuse for the two of them to spend time with one another.
B: Takumi is a stern teacher, but Corrin slowly improves. Corrin accidentally hurts herself and Takumi cancels the training session, quietly admitting to himself that he pushed Corrin too hard.
A: Takumi apologizes to Corrin and admits that she’s talented and fiercely devoted to Hoshido.
S: Corrin improves greatly at archery, thanks to Takumi’s training. Then we get the obligatory not really incest handwave and the two of them get married. Yay. This one actually has Corrin ask who her father is, if it isn’t Garon or Summeragi, and Takumi says that Mikoto didn’t write it down, which feels like a shitty thing for her to do.
Review: This is a weird conversation, considering the fact that Takumi learning to trust Corrin also happens in the main plot. Still, Takumi softening up a bit when Corrin gets hurt is a nice character moment. As for the S-Rank, you all know how I feel about the bullshit deus ex machina to excuse incest this game does.
Support: Oboro/Takumi
C: Oboro and Takumi talk about fashion, which reminds Oboro about her murdered parents. He asks if she wishes to return to fashion and she brushes it off, saying that she is more than happy serving him.
B: Oboro begins making a ceremonial outfit for Takumi and contemplates that her parents would be proud of her for being the seamstress for a prince.
A: Takumi sets Oboro up with a job helping other people with fashion in her spare time. She thanks him for the extra work.
S: Oboro attempts to quit both her fashion job and retainer job, because she is in love with Takumi. He says that he already knows, which makes sense, because that thirst was palpable. Takumi proposes to her and explains that he gave her extra work so she can start her own business after the war, which is nice but is also something he should have probably discussed with her in advance.
Review: This is a very laid back conversation that portrays Oboro much kinder than the game often does. I actually think Takumi comes off as a bit controlling, which is why retainers dating their masters is a bad idea, but overall it isn’t an awful support line.
Support: Corrin/Silas
C: Corrin asks Silas about why she doesn’t remember being friends with him and he brushes it off, because apparently everyone completely forgets about their childhood friend who was so devoted to them he became a knight for the slim chance he might see them again. Silas mentions that he and Corrin made a list of all the places she wanted to travel to and the two of them agree to go on a trip together.
B: Silas recreates the list from their childhood, which is filled with non-specific things like “a festival” and “a street food stall”. It’s actually a little cute. Corrin broods over why she can’t remember Silas and he tells her to ask her retinue, which is a word I had never seen before.
A: Corrin, after asking her retinue, reveals that she cried for days after they took Silas away. The two of them discuss how good friends they are.
S: Silas tells Corrin that she’s hot now and he loves her because she’s hot. He admits that Corrin’s out of his league, but they get married anyway because Corrin will have sex with anything with a pulse.
Review: So Silas is telling the truth? Really? He was so suspicious! This would have been much better if Silas was lying about his past and never knew Corrin. It at least would have had a resolution, as opposed to the half-hearted shrug that is this conversation. It set up a mystery and then just pretended it didn’t exist, which is infuriating.
Support: Hinata/Subaki
C: Hinata finds Subaki staring at his own reflection in love, because Subaki is literally a narcissist. As in, he’s doing the same shit Narcissus did that was so cartoonishly arrogant that the word narcissist is named after him. Also Subaki makes fun of Hinata for being a slob and agrees to teach him how to be more classy.
B: Subaki teaches Hinata basic cleanliness tips, like bathing, and combing your hair, and ironing your clothes. Hinata says that Subaki’s being ridiculous, and it’s framed as him being a slob, but I kinda think he’s right? The two of them are soldiers fighting behind enemy lines, they can afford to have wrinkled clothes.
A: Subaki recommends taking minor steps towards cleanliness.
Review: This is a mediocre, but ultimately harmless, fluff conversation that makes Subaki look like an asshole.
Birthright Chapter 11: To The Sea
The gang sails to Nohr. Takumi brings up the fact that Iago is probably a spy, but Corrin says she trusts him because, and I quote, he stood with us through one battle without stabbing anyone in the back. Such high standards our hero has.
Corrin says that she likes the sea and wants to buy a boat. The game better end with us getting that boat. Suddenly, the weather gets bad and the boat shakes. The ghost dude who killed Mikoto flies out of the water and attacks Azura. A battle begins against the ghost dude and an army of ghost pegasi riders. Weirdly, the ghost swordmaster dude isn’t actually an enemy in this map.
Early on in the battle, a new character named Reina shows up. She flies over to Corrin and explains that she was sent by Yukimura to help.She also brags about killing a shitload of enemies.
Reina
Reina, according to her unit text, is one of Mikoto’s retainers. She’s our first pre-promoted unit, an upgraded Sky Knight called a Kinshi Knight that can wield bows. I love the idea of flying anti-air units, but from what I remember they have bad growths. Design wise, I like that she has scars and looks a bit older than most of the female units. It establishes that she’s an experienced warrior. The halo thing is a bit weird though. Personality wise, she seems insanely violent, to the point of having a mini version of Lifetaker as her personal skill. But like, in a comedic way. Unfortunately, Reina only has supports with Corrin, which means she’s a bit of a throwaway character.
This was our obligatory Fire Emblem boat chapter. Stationed around the boat are Dragon Veins that create wind to keep the fliers at bay, but honestly I didn’t need them. I played this map defensively, bating the fliers with Rinkah or Silas then sniping them with Setsuna, Takumi, and our new flying death machine. Side note, what even is this ship? It’s covered and filled with market stalls, which I’ve never seen before.
After the battle, ghost dude, who we never actually fought and thus is still here, attacks Takumi. Zola sacrifices himself to protect Takumi and the ghost just kinda disappears. Sakura heals Zola’s wounds and Takumi apologizes for doubting him.
#fire emblem fates#fe 14#fire emblem birthright#corrin fe#takumi fe#corrin x takumi#hinata fe#subaki fe#kagero fe#reina fe#iago fe#takumi x oboro
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Don’t be evil anymore.
Don’t be evil anymore, Chapters 1 to 13 (Words: 13283 ), Focused on Nie Huaisang with flashbacks to his relationship with Mingjue and Jin Guangyao. Pairing: Nieyao & Sangyao. Mature for some adult background themes in the story such as sex, prostitution and mentions of pederasty as a social practice, but nothing graphic.
After Jin Guangyao’s death, Nie Huaisang travels to the bustling city of spectacle, Kaifeng in order to grieve privately. He meets various people representing various facets of Jin Guangyao, and slowly works out his issues of guilt,regret and grief.
Chapter 1: Don't be evil anymore.
“Sorrow is an indulgence” Nie Mingjue had said. “An indulgence he taught you!”
He knew when Meng Yao left, that without him to soften Mingjue's edges, the two brothers would descend into daily chaos. Mingjue needed someone to vent all his angered frustration and all Huaisang wanted was to tear everyone above him down, just so he would be free of their control.
“But brother, aren't you also sad?” he had asked.
Mingjue had stopped at this. He had wanted to say things like “I don't sit idle. I shoulder all the burdens. I don't submerge myself in vague worries.” But he had said nothing. He had only sat down and drank.
“Pour yourself a drink” he had said and passed him a cup.
“To your health.” he says now raising his cup to an empty seat. Sorrow is an indulgence, his brother was right. And because he doesn't want his subjects to see him indulge himself with tears, he sometimes flees here, to the bustling night life of Kaifeng. The instruments in the courtyard scream and bellow at him, chasing away the memories, as the many actors surge on the makeshift stage below for some drama.
For over a decade he bided his time, torn between absolute hate and startling sympathy for Meng Yao. And when he finally set in motion his plans, he thought he would be free. Because the worst anguish was not the grief for his brother, but rather his conflicting feelings for Meng Yao.
It's now twice as difficult to release himself from them. He catches himself at the oddest times thinking “This little bauble would have pleased Meng Yao.” As if he doesn't want to forget. So much like his brother he tries to pry Meng Yao from his heart, only to end up empty, bitter and angry.
“I never revealed these things to you, because I knew you had an affection for him. But he took the lives of many people, Huaisang, and he will continue to take. He has a real thirst for blood. If you had only seen how he culled our disciples. He is no longer human, and his evil will only grow as long as no one confronts him.”
No, Huaisang had thought, but very soon he found out himself. That's why his brother had been so distressed. The little handsome soldier he liked to kiss, killed. He took heads with a smile.
A young waitress arrives to clear his table. “Young Master, you've been drinking alone all night. Don't you want to go back to your room and rest?”
He gives her a smile. “I can handle my drinks. Don't worry, young lady, I won't make trouble.”
If he regrets anything, it's the time he lost. How would he love to have been the person he is now when his brother was alive. Perhaps then catastrophe could have been avoided. Perhaps his brother would still live in much better times, and together they could travel the world and laugh and cry at its odd sights. Poor Nie Mingjue lived such a short, such a hard life, and the only pleasure he took, he paid for it dearly with his own life.
He holds his head up to look at the actors below, immersed in their difficult, unrealistic drama. For hours it seems he looks without paying attention. Just trying not to think. His eyes drifting shut from time to time. Don't remember. Don't remember. Don't remember. Like an invocation to oblivion.
“Oh, how I love killing men!” a youthful voice calls from below. “With sword or spear for my father's glory, I take their lives!”
“A blooming peony in blood.” the woeful voice of the narrator laments. “See the little prince, how he claims heads on the battlefield.”
He opens his eyes. A young actor spins in a mock battle amidst fake blades and spears, pretending to be a prince to an evil king who battles the play's noble heroes.
“There is no villainy he will not do, no desecration too unholy. Such a hard heart to go with his youthful face. So many tears shed as many as an ocean.”
“I pierce their bodies with my blade, none who face me live to see the next day. And if the very sun turned against me, with my hands I'll bring it down!”
Huaisang can't help but smile at the boastful declarations of the young soldier who twirls on stage killing his brave foes. There's something about the bend of this one's waist, something in the tone of his voice that brings to mind Meng Yao. His brother's Meng Yao, the one that killed men and smiled.
“Young lady!” he calls to the waitress, who comes ready to scold him. “Who is the master of the troupe?” he asks. “Could you call him to my table, I would like to make a contribution.”
The waitress pleased, runs off and returns later with an elderly gentleman. Before even the first round of treats arrives, he passes to him a pouch full of silver coins.
“Such talented actors.” he remarks. “You must have worked hard to discipline them. If possible I would like to meet them all and congratulate them.”
The old master mutters his thanks, he would like to know where this young master is from and if he has any thoughts about the play they are acting.
“I am rich and I am idle, and I appreciate beauty. I've travelled from afar and I consider Kaifeng to be my home more than any other place on this land. Here one may find as many diversions as the heart desires.”
The old master laughs, and the young soldier below resumes killing.
The next day he sees the array of yesterday's painted faces without their makeup on. Polite and soft-spoken, ordinarily dressed, he has great difficulty recognizing the evil prince among them. There are several young men, all willowy and handsome, but not a face that resembles Meng Yao.
“The evil peony prince? Who is he among you?”
A boy dashes forward with his head kept low in modesty. “It's me.” he mutters with a hint of restlessness about his shoulders.
Huaisang let's himself see this face. A stranger's face, but now that it speaks it's becoming a little more familiar.
“Are you perhaps from Yunmeng?” he asks.
“That's right! How did you know?” the boy exclaims astounded.
“I once knew someone from Yunmeng. You remind me of him. Do you perhaps know the Meng family?”
The boy suddenly laughs. There's a slight rudeness in his smile.
“Where are your manners?” the old master warns. “Answer to this gentleman.”
The boy lowers his face, his handsome eyes still shining with mirth.
“There's no such thing as Meng family. It's a moniker people use there when they have an ugly past. Like criminals and prostitutes. They use this name when they return to society so their families don't face embarassment and humiliation.”
“Ah, I did not know that.” Huaisang says pleasantly, even though for some reason he wants to cry like a child.
He reaches for a pouch full of silver and hands it to the boy.
“You are a good actor.” he says. “From now on ask your master to let you play characters that are good too.”
Chapter 2: The secret
When his brother had vanished, shortly after that Jin Guangyao arrived at Qinghe to manage the various issues of his succession. He had known when he first saw him come and greet him that his brother was now dead. He had made many efforts to find him before Guangyao, but his sworn brother had more men and more power in his disposal and was afraid that his plot would be discovered.
The tears he was shedding at the time were all real. It is a terrible thing to lose family to evil men and know there is no one to award you justice. His heart had broken in two. No matter what was at stake he could not bring himself to defend his position as heir. His thoughts were: Let it all go to hell. I will retreat to some cavern, or mountain peak like some ascetic and there pray for enlightenment. Let them all kill each other, tear themselves apart.
But Guangyao had only taken a single step, casting a single glance, before reverting to old Meng Yao, ready to shield his defenseless prince. It's you that I am afraid, Huaisang had wanted to scream at him.
Meng Yao had asked: “Who is giving you trouble?”
You, you a thousand you. But he couldn't even rage. Only clasp his sleeves and shed tears on his shoulders wordlessly. What a knife Meng Yao was, thrust and twisted in his very guts. But he was crying on him, receiving his consolations. Whatever dissidence there had been vanished in a total of three days. Whoever saw the golden prince of Lanling, fell silent and apologized.
Some uncles from the side of Mingjue's mother, who had wanted a nephew of theirs to take over the Qinghe Nie feared that against the Jin they would lose the very kingdom. They took Huaisang's side willingly after that. The people's shock from seeing this foreign prince manage the fortress reminded him for the first time after his brother's disappearance, that he was not all alone in the world.
There were others who could resent Meng Yao with him. So close your heart and keep shedding tears, he had told himself.
But Meng Yao was no monster at the time. He never had his father's backing, no Lanling Jin would come to wage war with the Qinghe Nie over a useless prince. But all the same, he knew he could get the same results parading alone in his resplendent robes emblazoned with the blooming peony of his Clan. Once that was settled he threw over his golden vestments a grey mantle, so that only Huaisang would shine in his funeral white.
His brother's funeral, a funeral without a body, had been the most notable event of the year. Talked about not only for its splendor and its many mourners, but also for the kindness of the remaining sworn brothers who supported the new king of Hejian. A king! His brother had been a king, much like those of old. Huaisang had no idea what he was.
“Eat a little. It's not doing your brother any good if you are starving.” Meng Yao had said and tried to feed him.
Huaisang looked at the food in the private banquet and had wanted to laugh. If he had been the man his brother was, he would have throttled Meng Yao, or like those kings of old, he would have taken a sword and cut his head off at that very instant. But instead he had taken his chopsticks.
“Thank you, third brother” he had said.
He had fallen asleep directly afterwards from exhaustion and numbness. Meng Yao had led him into his new chambers, he had even set his bed for him. Before he could leave, Huaisang had convinced him to stay. So he had slept soundly in a feeling of encompassing safety, with Meng Yao by his bed like the old days. He remembered that was his brother's killer only after he woke up.
The difficulty of hating people you know is hating the parts of them inside you he found out that day.
“I have a secret.” he had whispered behind his fan a long time ago.
“What secret?” Meng Yao had smiled at him.
“I am in love with you.”
“That's not a secret.” Meng Yao had laughed.
“Why not? I haven't told it.”
“That's not how secrets work. A secret is something you can't say. And besides even if you hadn't told me before, I knew it already.”
“You are so clever, Meng Yao. Pray tell, how did you find out? Or is it because others think you are so handsome you now guess half of them are in love with you.”
Meng Yao had snickered at that behind his hand.
“You love me” he said. “Because we are alike.”
Huaisang had paused at that. Oh, Meng Yao thinks I am smart. He had smiled back then, only to cry bitterly later. Not smart. Soft. He had thought I was soft like him. But at some point in life Meng Yao had stopped being soft. Or he could slip in and out of it regardless of the violence he committed. Meng Yao, violent and dangerous, who would have thought.
“Young Master, you are not even paying attention!” the boy cried falling into his arms.
A small red dot was adorning his forehead. That wouldn't do. He licked his thumb and wiped it out.
“My face!” the boy exclaimed.
“I'll paint you a better one, go get your brushes.”
“You are so strange today, Young Master.” the boy complained setting his tray of things at his side. “Are you perhaps offended because of what I said about the surname Meng?”
“Of course not! Why would I be offended by something like that.” Huaisang said dabbing the boy's smudged forehead with white paint.
“The other actors scolded me. They said I shouldn't have said that because you probably liked that friend of yours from Yunmeng. And now it's as if I have insulted him.”
Huaisang smiled, licking the tip of the brush to smooth it out.
“He was a rascal that friend of mine. It's dishonorable to hold grudges against new acquaintances in order to preserve the memory of old ones”
The boy squinted his eyes in an effort to understand. He wiped the excessive ink and with careful motions he painted a crescent moon on the boy's forehead.
“What mark is that?” the boy asked with half-closed eyes.
“A crescent moon. It's the mark of an upright and just person.” Huaisang said. “You are good now, are you not?”
“Oh, yes, I uphold justice.” the boy said cheekily and run off back to the stage to fight the wicked.
Huaisang hid behind his fan, pretending to admire the mountainous landscape. Something was biting at his heart. It hurt like a venomous snake spitting its venom into his freshest wounds. He had flown all the way to Gusu to maybe laugh at Xichen. He had thought this seclusion of his was only a rumor. Arrving there it had given him some pleasure to find out the rumor had been true.
But now he realizes it was never repentance. Just common sense, the instinct of self-preservation. What person can trust themselves when they've hurt the one they love. I do not love, Huaisang had said to himself. I do not love at all. Not him. Not anyone. But the secret had been that he did.
Chapter 3: When the virtuous are wicked.
When desires become strange, when they turn inside and become tangled like the roots of old dying trees, it's best to pacify the soul with sleep. Or that's what Huaisang had always thought. Whenever something became too difficult he knew the best comfort would be in the embrace of a soft bed. Of course his desires never became so strange as to be avoided until now when he is plagued more and more often by an odd idea.
“I heard about a new play today.” the boy says. “A company in the far north is very fond of it and I think the Young Master should seek them out and ask them to play it for him.”
“Oh, what play is that?” he says catching brief glimpses of his reflection in the water. The boat glides effortlessly on the peaceful waters, floating on the very image of the heavens. It's a bright day, and other boats float around them, each filled with a host of wealthy clients, courtesans and all the divertisements under the sky of Kaifeng.
“I don't know if this will come across as rude.” the boy says. “But it's a love story.”
“Love?” Huaisang asks opening his fan. “What does someone as young as you have to do with love?”
The boy blushes, but can't help smiling mischieviously. “I have ears” he says. “People think I don't, but I do! I can't help but listen what they say.”
“Who talks of love? The other actors?”
“Yes. They say this person from Yunmeng must have been very close to your heart.”
“Why do they say that? I mentioned him but once.”
“It's because I reminded you of him and you have given me silver and watched my shows, and doted on me. They say you must have wanted to dote on him.”
Perhaps he drank too much last night, and now he will be handsomely rewarded with a headache.
“Can you ask the waitress for some water. I hardly slept last night.”
“Did this person you loved, perhaps die?” the boy asks when he returns with water.
“Actually he did.” he answers trying to suppress the violent surge of emotion.
“Then this play is perfect for you. It's about two monks from a temple in the mountains. They fall deeply in love, but their love is forbidden! One of them shunned by the other, made desperate by feelings of unrequited love kills himself. But he is then reborn as a beautiful princess!”
“Let me guess, the other monk falls in love with this princess.”
“Exactly!”
“What a depressing play. No king would wed a beautiful princess to an old monk. I guess they both die in the end.”
“My master says that people like sorrowful endings and powerful feelings. It makes them appreciate the comfort and simplicity of their lives.”
“Ah, I am already very appreciative. I do not need to see a depressing play. Oh, well, it's no good now, you ruined my morning, little delinquent. Just hearing the plot made me depressed.” he says and falls back on the many cushions of his seat.
“I thought you would like it.” the boy mumbles looking down.
“Why would I like such a thing?”
“Because the young man is reborn. He comes back and his friend returns his feelings of affection.”
“You have a point there, but if my friend came back, I would be very old by the time I could show him affection. Nobody likes an old man entertaining thoughts of love for a very young person. Such a thing is distasteful...Besides, my friend will not return.”
“Was he so virtuous?”
“His last name was Meng, wasn't it? You said it...criminals and prostitutes.”
“This person sounds more and more interesting by the moment.” the boy said sitting down and playing with his braided hair.
What an odd notion, he thinks and lies back looking at the sky. Certainly not. Not ever. Not even if it meant some form of happiness.
“Why not?” he had once asked.
“Because it wouldn't be proper.” Meng Yao had said.
He had forgotten Meng Yao was both virtuous and wicked. There was nothing he could pin on him It was tragic. The heir of the Lanling Jin slept and rose early, he didn't drink and didn't gamble, he was pious and filial, he did not letch, he did not embezzle, he protected and strengthened the weak and greeted even those who insulted him with a smile.
And he was a murderer, but the blood of his victims did not stain his blade. It had made Huaisang almost go mad. His victims didn't bleed on him. Mad, mad it had made him.
“Why wouldn't it be proper?” he had pressed.
“Your brother wouldn't approve.”
“My brother isn't here anymore.”
What does one do when the wicked are virtuous? What does one do! he had cried desperately. There was no lure to bait Meng Yao. No trap that would appeal to him. Nothing he could do.
“It's natural to feel this way” Meng Yao had said. “It's because you are grieving.”
“Then help me. Help me forget.”
What does one do when the virtuous are wicked. What does one do?
Chapter 4: A man who tears down the things his friend builds.
“Alright.” Meng Yao had said and his eyes were tired and vulnerable and guilty all at once. “If it would relieve you.”
Meng Yao had managed only to become more beautiful in his eyes. He wondered how long would this beauty last. Would it go on forever? Would Meng Yao become something of a myth. The poor boy that was cheated, beaten and abandoned, and still became king. Huaisang had never known the slightest hardship. How was it to sleep without food? He didn't know. He never had to.
“I am so alone” Huaisang had said and kissed him. He hoped that if he whispered Meng Yao's thoughts back to him that would seduce him. How many beaten children become kings? They must all feel pretty lonely.
At the time he himself couldn't discern what he really wanted as he brushed his own fingers against Meng Yao's hair, his eyes red and swollen with tears. The obvious thing would have been to kill him. He wanted to and it would be easy to wait for him to go to sleep and then smother him with a pillow, or slip poison in his mouth. Or even better sink a knife into his breast.
But if that had happened, and the body had been discovered in his bedroom, then Huaisang would be the mad, deranged prince who killed the heir of Lanling and done things to his body. The kingdom would pale and fall apart before a single soldier arrived to lay siege at it.
So what did he seek when he protested with so many tears? Was he really the spoiled prince demanding love? A love that was bitter just so he could justify to himself the onslaught of cruel emotions?
“You loved my brother, didn't you?” he had asked Meng Yao kissing his shoulder; his arm around his waist, as they both lied on the same bed with their hair sticking to each other's skin. He couldn't help but remark at how perfect, how restful their embrace was. As if there was peace between them.
“I still do.” Meng Yao had said and hidden his face in the crook of his arm.
Huaisang had known Meng Yao was seeking his brother all along. It was Mingjue he missed when he let Huaisang make love to him. It was his name he was trying not to utter when he was pressing his lips. He had loved every gentle moment, keeping his eyes open for it just as Meng Yao refused steadily to see. He couldn't help but blame Meng Yao for this selfish lust.
Of course, it had been Huaisang that hadn't observed the taboo. Huaisang who should have known better. In that moment he was as much his brother's killer, as the Meng Yao he loved.
“He hated you for what you had done in Nightless City. He never recovered from it. He said you loved hurting men, but I did not believe it.” he had whispered to him amidst kisses. “You didn't enjoy hurting my brother, did you, A-Yao?”
“I did.” Meng Yao had said and cried like a child; shedding tears and muffling his sobs behind his hand. It was the closest thing to a confession. Huaisang had loved him all the more for it. He had even kissed his scar. The scar from the blade that should have killed him a long time ago. The blade that had been lodged deep in his chest.
But the next day, all his feelings were gone. One by one they all fled as he watched Meng Yao dress himself, and comb his hair, fastening the straps of his silly hat. The courtesans that don't die with their kings are the most detestable creatures in stories.
He should make a point to ask his young friend for a story where the conniving courtesan lives.
“Does your master let you drink?” he asks.
The boy was looking openly at the expensive wine on their table with some fascination.
“The older actors drink when they think the master won't see them, but the master doesn't approve. If someone drinks excessively and he discovers them, they are kicked out of the troupe.”
“I see, a theatrical company is much like an army.”
The young waitress comes with their large order, bringing excessive dishes and refined delicacies one by one. The boy eyes the large red fish with some greed. Young actors live such disciplined lives, only a rich admirer could supply them with some luxury. The moon is rising from behind the hills, casting its reflection to illuminate the canals. A colorful crowd has been gathering all afternoon beneath their veranda.
Maybe he should have requested a private room, maybe he shouldn't parade his young friend in the same places that prostitutes and courtesans laugh at the bad jokes of their wealthy patrons. But then again maybe in the company of such people, a private room would be even more suspicious.
“Young lady, why don't you bring us also some tea, for my young friend over here.”
The young lady smiles at the actor. “How lucky you are” she says. “This is an expensive place. I would so love it if I had such a wealthy admirer to feed me delicious treats!”
“Ah, this one here is going to be a famous actor one day!” Huaisang says pointing at the young actor with his fan. “And then he'll pay me back every penny! I'll take him to tour all the noblest halls. He'll make so much money, he might even marry a princess!”
The waitress laughs, as the boy hides his face behind his hands. Even the tips of his ears are blushing.
“Are you really so good, young master?” the waitress asks the boy. “Maybe you can play something for us when the moon reaches the middle of the sky.”
“I can play now!” the boy says, getting up excitedly.
“Not now, eat first. Our expensive meal shouldn't get cold before we enjoy it.”
“That's right, young master.” the waitress advises. “Besides, many more customers will arrive later to enjoy the moon. If you play something for them when they are drinking they'll reward you even more handsomely. You will leave this place with a small fortune.” she adds in a confidential tone.
“Is that true?” the boy asks once the waitress departs, digging into the ivory flesh of the fish with his chopsticks.
Huaisang fans himself a little. “My brother was a great man. Far greater than I will ever be. He told me there is no man easier to take advantage than a drunk. Waitresses and great generals think alike. No one knows more about human nature than they.”
“Your brother was a great general?” the boy asks with wonderment. “I thought you were a rich merchant. It didn't cross my mind you came from a noble house. It's even stranger now for you to have known a Yunmeng Meng.”
“Not only have I known such a person, but I was the one to get him drunk first.”
The boy's chopsticks pause at that. “What?” he asks with surprise.
He had a real curiosity about drinking. All the men in the banquets did it. Nie Mingjue did it. In fact it was quite a feat drinking without getting drunk, and everyone who mattered boasted that ability. His brother always said that men who become inebriated while drinking are weak-willed and spineless.
He had acquired a taste for it, because he was allowed to have a little. To build up that fabled tolerance that separated men of destiny from the rest. Meng Yao had been biting his lips and flaring his eyes, saying “I do not know, young master. What if we get caught?”
“If you are smart about it, we won't get caught.” he had said
But the thing is Huaisang was very well prepared to blame everything on Meng Yao if they got caught. They had drunk themselves silly, laughing with tears in the eyes just by looking at each other. “You look so drunk!” Huaisang would snicker. “You look even more drunk!” Meng Yao would reply hiding his face.
They had fallen asleep on the same quilt that night. He had woken up in the middle of the night, next to Meng Yao's perfect face. He saw him sleeping with a faint, drunken blush. And he had kissed that blush.
“I was afraid to get drunk by myself because of my brother, the great general. My friend Meng was more courageous, he snuck the wine for me. But he didn't want to drink the master's wine, because he was only a servant. I cried so much then. I told him he was cruel. That he wanted this crime to be blamed on me...I said I wouldn't love him unless he drank as much as I did.”
“If I was a great general, I would beat you both” the boy says stuffing shrimps in his mouth.
“My brother never found out.” Huaisang says and drinks more wine. It's sweet and it reflects moonlight. There is a fragrance in the air, maybe it's the plum blossoms. His tolerance for alcohol has certainly grown since his childhood days.
“Do you remember perhaps how old you were when you left Yunmeng?” he asks.
“I was seven.” the boy replies moving from the shrimps to the oyster rolls. He picks them apart gracefully with his chopsticks before shoving them greedily in his mouth behind his hand.
“Did you know a famous temple there? It was a temple at Yunping city.”
“Guanyin temple? Everybody knows Guanyin temple! My mother and I had even gone there to pray. I remember the monks did a lot of charity work, they always gave money to people in need, and let travelers stay at the temple, they cooked meals. But there was a storm one night and the roof caved in. Many people died.”
“My friend built that temple.” Huaisang says pouring himself another drink.
“Your friend the servant!? The servant that you got drunk?”
“Yes, his fortune changed, and he became a very rich, a very powerful man. He made many public works and was kind and fair to the common people. His name is all but forgotten now...If you know a play about a man that tears down the things his friend builds, please let me know. I would surely watch it.”
Chapter 5: A passing fancy.
The boy watches the carp fight over the meager crumbs they have tossed them. When he smiles there is a very slight, an almost imperceptible indentation on his cheeks. The waters of the canal are murky, but the carp are glistening in bright colors of orange and red, reminding him of the servants at Carp Tower once upon a time.
“Do you know the poem about the lady comparing herself to a fan?”
“I've never heard about such a thing.” the boy says tossing some more crumbs. The bright reflections from the water play on his bright face.
“It's about a court lady who is very much loved by the emperor. They spend an entire summer together in bliss walking in gardens and drinking wine under the moon. But when the summer passes, he forgets all about her. So she compares herself to a fan one uses to cool themselves in the summer only to be forgotten with the first autumn breeze.”
“That's so sad.”
“It's a warning. About passing fancies. Not forming attachments. Not expecting love for love given.”
“Oh.”
“You will understand when you grow older. Or perhaps you already do, better than me.”
Huaisang fishes the little box out of his sash and gives it to the boy.
“What's this?” the boy asks wiping his hands on his shift.
“Open it.”
The boy unclasps the lid, opening the box. He reaches for the large pearl nestled inside and playfully puts it over one of his eyes.
“Is it a rock?” he asks.
“It's a pearl. A real one.”
The boy rolls it between the balls of his fingers, observing it mystified. “What should I do with it?” he asks.
“One day, when you are very tired and want to stop you can exchange it for money. And then you can build a big mansion and have many servants and you will not want for any thing.”
“It's that expensive?”
“It's a real treasure. It's not a cheap thing like a pearl button. So don't gamble it away, or drink it, or spend it on women. Do not show it to anyone and keep it always close. Don't let anyone cheat you out of it.”
“What if I lose it, or someone steals it from me?”
“Then do not come to Qinghe. And don't ask for Nie Huaisang. I don't know what kind of man he'll be by the time you find him.”
Chapter 6: She became mad.
Do you see that man. I heard he pays an entire fortune to anyone who resembles his lost love. He might not look it, but he is a great lord from Hejian. Really wealthy. I hear he gave a lavish mansion in Tanzhou to a waitress just because her smile reminded him of that man.”
“I never have luck with such things. I have such a plain face. If it were to rain money from the sky, I wouldn't catch a single coin.”
He is not that drunk that he can't hear them. In fact he is not drunk at all, despite all the drinking. This is supposed to be a refined place, but it's just another brothel. He was thinking of Meng Yao's mother lately. Everyone always said how much he looked like her. For years he avoided looking at her face, yet from the very beginning it was the one he loved. Meng Yao looked nothing like Guangshan.
His features had a womanly grace. It was how he seduced others into believing his nature was soft and pliant. When his brother had chosen Meng Yao to put him at his side, it was that supple grace that entranced him. He thought Meng Yao was delicate, loving and pure. What his mother must have been like.
But in a place like this what good did it do to her?
“How was she like?” Huaisang had asked once when he was a child.
“Oh, she was the most beautiful woman in the land.” Meng Yao had said as if he was ready to spin a fairy tale in her memory.
“That's what everyone says about their mother.” Huaisang had said. “If I had known my mother perhaps we would have been able to compare their looks”
“Huaisang is so handsome too. His mother might have been as beautiful as mine.” Meng Yao had conceded.
For many years after his brother died, he cursed Meng Shi for bestowing to her evil son the tools with which he deceived men and women and had surmised that some evil must have been in her heart as well, for kind looks to be twisted this way. But he had seen with his own eyes, from Meng Yao's tortured spirit. The kindness was real. Meng Yao had never deceived him, or his brother, or anyone else who had trusted his kind face.
How else could a person succeed so much, with so little at their disposal and ultimately be happy, unless a terrible balance existed within them. The evil had never been the aberration, it had been the poison to the flower.
“But what was she really like, aside from her looks” he had asked again.
“She was warm.” Meng Yao had said in the softness of candlelight. “She was so warm when she took me in her arms. She always whispered to me what a splendid life would await us once we got away from it all. She worked very hard for this. That's why she became very sad towards the end. It was as if the light was going slowly out of her. But even in madness and despair, she was still very warm.”
“She became mad?”
“Towards the end.”
“What did she do?” Huaisang had asked fearing the answer.
“She drunk a lot in order to go on. And she cried. She cried every day.”
Huaisang had tried many times to imagine the context of the brothel. That's why for his first visit he had chosen a popular, ugly place in a dingy port town. He had gone to take revenge on Meng Yao's mother, but looking at the women there so sickly and frail and mad, it had made his stomach turn. Surely Meng Yao's mother, a queen among whores, never saw a place like that. She could read and write, compose elegant verses and play music.
So tonight he came here, where the ladies are so elegant they might be in another life queens. But it's really the same place. Maybe the clients behave better here, but they still expect the same things.
“Young Master, you haven't said a word all evening. Don't you like me at all?”
“You've heard the stories. You don't really resemble my friend.”
“That's so sad. The mistress hoped she could make a fortune on your back. She promised she would release me from my contract. But I guess I am as unlucky as always.”
“My friend was unlucky. He had a pile of misfortunes on his back.”
“How can anyone love someone who is unlucky, they will only bring them bad luck. You, young master, you were blessed by fortune. You are lucky that friend of yours died.”
“I will drink to that.”
“Young Master, will you just drink? Don't you have any other notion of fun?”
“Not really. I told you, you don't look like my friend.”
“You are a man of poor imagination. Most young lords will just close their eyes and see clearly any face they desire. Perhaps you are not a big friend of women.”
When he sleeps that night, alone back at the inn he curiously dreams of the evil peony prince. He sees him in his costume, feeding the carp at the canal. He would have liked to ask him to come back to Qinghe with him, but then people would believe he had lost his mind.
What would he say? “This is my reincarnated friend. I need to protect him.”
He already knows no such gentle fate awaits Jin Guangyao and aches all the more for not being able to indulge even in harmless fantasy. Maybe the silver is not for the people, but for the thoughts that still plague him. Maybe he can pay them gone. When Guangyao tore his brother limb from limb, what was that about? He cried bitterly before his empty tomb and asked: “Brother, what did you do to enrange him?”
He even cursed his brother's memory for requesting revenge. “How will I do it ?” he had cried. “How?”
When he finally did, putting together his brother, just as he was putting together the final strokes of his plan, he wanted to tear apart everything Guangyao ever put together, and more importantly all that made him. “It's because you conceived him.” he had told her as he scattered her bones to be taken by the birds and the animals of the mountain.
The evil peony prince in his dream turns to him with a smile. “Where are the bones of my mother?” he asks.
“I ground them all to dust to make you this pearl” the Huaisang in his dream answers.
He wakes up in cold sweat. Even if he wanted to, he could never put her back together. Just like Guangyao's spirit. Mother and son are now nothing.
“What happens if a man scatters the bones of his enemy's mother” he asks.
“Young lord, you are all strange ideas tonight” the boatman replies. “Ask a priest. He'll give you an answer.”
Chapter 7: Someone to make you happy.
There was quite a large crowd outside of his room. He hadn't exactly advised the innkeeper to keep them away, but none of them barged through his door. A maid he had tipped to keep him company, would occasionally go outside to let them know the young lord was still unavailable, but neither would she turn them away. Then at about seven, a wonderful hour to have afternoon tea, a lady, pushing and shoving through the crowd, opened the door to his room and got in to the surprise of everyone including himself.
“Young lord, I came as soon as I found out you were in town!” she exclaimed, and taking a napkin out of her bosom, she dabbed the sweat that had collected on her brow.
“Really, for what reason?” he said waving his fan slowly. “Do you have a lookalike of my friend for me to see?”
The lady looked at him with surprise. “I am not such a person that I will make one suffer by reminding them of someone who is long dead!” she said.
“Suffer?” he heard himself say.
The lady scooted over to their table. “Please, bring me some tea as well” she said to the maid giving her a handsome tip. “And take your time.”
The maid looked at him baffled, until he waved her away.
“Don't misunderstand me, young lord.” the lady said. “I am sure some of these encounters soothe your heart, but when they come to an end, does it not bleed anew? I came here because I think it a disgrace that there are people who seek to take advantage of you.”
His mind had gone blank. It was one thing to seek pleasures anonymously in a crowd that had a similar mind, but as he moved back to the real world, such folly could spell a man's doom. Was he suffering so much that he had never taken notice others saw it as well?
“A handsome young gentleman like yourself, who does not let himself become attached, no doubt has been gruesomely betrayed. All these other people do is agitate the memory of betrayal in your heart. They repay your generosity with ingratitude, if you ask me.”
“So you are not here to make me meet somebody?”
The lady smiled. “I am here to bring you someone who won't leave. Someone who will be utterly devoted to your lordship, and entirely in your power to do with him as you see fit.”
“That sounds rather incovenient.”
“You are a rich man. You have dispersed countless treasures, but you won't need to spent as much to procure yourself a servant. And what does a servant need to be loyal to you? A plate of food, some clothes and a place to sleep. These things even I can provide, a wealthy lord like you can keep a servant like a little princeling if your heart so desires.”
“I see...Are you a pimp or a slaver?”
The lady laughed. “Neither! I do not like misery at all! I like to see people pleased and happy. I came here to make you happy, and if you agree your servant will also be happy.”
Huaisang felt utterly confused “Are you a matchmaker?”
The lady blushed and laughed again, hiding her mouth behind her sleeve. “My lord, nothing escapes your attention!” she said.
“It's common knowledge that I am indolent. I will permit you to amuse me.” He reached for his coin purse, but the lady stopped him.
“Please, do not pay me before I complete my work. And furthermore if I don't find someone to please you, then don't pay me at all!”
“It's unlikely that I will take this person with me, you know. Even if you dig up my friend's grave and bring him back to life, I will not. I am only paying to be amused.”
The lady gripped his hand more firmly. “Lord, when your heart opens up, you will pay my weight in gold, that's why I won't accept your change now.”
Chapter 8: Flowers a little wilted
He had cried all through the night. Like when he first realized what it was that Jin Guangyao had done. Because he was weak, and because killing was such a repulsive thing. I love this person, his heart had said. Shouldn't have I?
He counted the years of silence, of appearing as something he was not, and wondered how many people drift through the world like this; descending in some silent madness. It made everything bitter, especially his interactions with other people, which by then fell into two categories; people he could use, and people he'd have to destroy.
Truly no one can ever know another's heart, but when he held Guangyao's gauze cap he had to wonder if he had ever known his own. Whom could he place by his side, and not lie with his silences, not ommit awful truths with shallow pleasantries.
If his brother were to see him now, would he recognize him? Would he think, this is Huaisang. The boy that would once spend hours preparing meticulously the meals for his songbirds, while his study books lay neglected by his side, the boy who knew where each poet of Qinghe resided, who knew what flowers grew in their gardens, and was bothered by the sun of the desert.
Huaisang right now could barely recognize the boy he had once been himself. If he could see again his evil peony prince, when he too was but a boy, he would say “I am sorry.”
If only just to make it a little easier to be with other people again.
“There is something about me that the person you bring me must know” he said as the young maid served them wine. There was a man who would recite some exceptional poetry here tonight. “But I am afraid once you find out yourself, you will no longer want to serve me. So tonight you might lose our little bet.”
The lady laughed, and lifting her winecup she drank behind her sleeve. “I am no lord, I am not afraid of losing.”
He rested his chin on the guard of his fan. “That friend of mine I loved, I was the one who killed him.”
The lady set her winecup on the table a little flustered. “That's depraved!” she said. “You enjoy killing young men?!”
“He had my brother poisoned and killed for some rival lord, so I had no other choice but to do it.”
The lady regarded him cautiously “Well then, if you ask me it was your friend's fault for exceeding his station. When servants meddle in the affairs of their masters they often end up dead. But you needn't worry about the person I'll bring. They'll know their place.”
“He has to be polite.”
“Excuse me?”
“He has to be polite, but not literate. In fact he shouldn't be able to read or write. And if he were to be unlucky, if he had some great misfortune happen to him, I would prefer it.”
“You have a fondness for flowers that are a little wilted, don't you.”
“No relatives, either.”
“I suppose he should be very young and very handsome.”
“No, I don't care about his looks. If it's an ugly or disfigured person I wouldn't mind at all. And I don't want him to be younger than me.”
“But a young, impressionable boy, who will admire you-”
“Young, impressionable boys grow up, and hate the lords that raise them.”
Chapter 9: Meilin
It was drawing to noon and he was thinking about what he should have for lunch, when a missive from the matchmaker came. It read: “I found the one.”
That greatly unsettled him, mostly because he was thinking about leaving after tomorrow and never give a second thought to this affair. He also had an intense dislike for others setting the pace of his day. So instead of strolling out to find some other distraction, he fussed over his looks and had a maid tidy up his chambers. His lunch plans, he also changed. Whereas he would have had a simple meal, now he had to organize a small banquet.
His guests arrived just when he was starting to get annoyed with all the preparations. He fixed his hair and took a seat, and was only reminded that he had not requested some ethereal beauty, when the smiling matchmaker came in, with a small statured young man in tow that was so bowed he could hardly see his face.
“We interrupted your lunch!” she exclaimed. “Please forgive us, my lord! If this one over here was not so slow we would have come at an earlier time. Perhaps we should wait until you are finished and then come to see you. I fear you may lose your appetite when you see whom I brought you.”
“No, sit the both of you. Let's get this over with. Serve them wine.” he said to the maid.
Even though he felt himself exhale impatiently for giving in this folly, his eyes couldn't help but dart curiously to the shrunken form next to the matchmaker. That young man had a beautiful lustrous sheen on his hair, and when he bowed, his nape reminded him of Meng Yao when he was a young servant himself.
Perhaps actually it was not at all like this and he only thought so because that's what he wanted – which irritated him even more.
“Wine?” the matchmaker asked. “You are going to give this fine wine to one such as him? How lucky you are! Bow and drink for the young master.”
Huaisang toyed with his chopstics. “Actually, let's all start eating. I waited for you too long.”
“I certainly will, I am famished running about town to find you a good servant.”
Huaisang noticed that the young man had taken the cup from the maid, but was not drinking.
“What is his name?”
“His mother was a simple woman, she named him Li...she liked plums, I suppose. He is no beauty, but he knows how to make tea, and a bed, and also take care of clothes – which is a nice thing for someone like you, who likes to travel. And hear that, he can also rub your back when you are tired. He is good with his hands.”
“Well, Li, why aren't you drinking your wine?”
The young man didn't lift his face at all at being addressed. “Wine makes me dizzy.” he mumbled.
“My lord, he is a bit of a simpleton, you won't get much conversation out of him. But he is not so incompetent that he can't bring you a meal or wash your clothes. Why don't you try him for a few days, and if he does not please, I'll compensate him for his labor.”
“Can I see his face?” he asked.
Li bowed even more deeply, but he did not say anything. It seemed this request greatly embarassed him.
“My lord, he is ugly! I warn you!”
“I don't mind, show me your face. I'll have to see you if I am to keep you. And if it is so unbearable as you say, I'll give you at least a more pleasant name. How about Meilin? Now there's a whole grove of plum trees, isn't that better?”
The young man peered at him from under his lashes, and hesitantly he lifted his face a little. He had a harelip. The shape of his face was not bad, but what would have been the good side of his face had once been burned, making the eyelids of one eye fuse and droop comically.
“What happened to him?”
“This one has such a sad story, my lord. You must be moved to save him. His mother was a maid at a very noble house, and the lord there treated him well, but after she died, the lady of the house turned on him and beat him every day. She hit his face with a hot kettle when he was but a child, can you believe? The lord died a few days ago of old age and she threw him out and it's not easy for him to be employed with such a face. Do this kindness for me and try him out.”
Chapter 10: A carp carried it in its mouth.
“You have really beautiful hair. So if you let it down and someone sees you from behind, then they will be really surprised when you turn and they see you from the front.” he said picking up his hair, and securing it with a pin.
Meilin bowed his head coyly. For such an ugly person, he sure was proud and hated showing it.
“Most people are repulsed by the surprise, and not the actual ugliness...So which ones do you like?”
“These clothes are too good for someone like me.”
“What are you talking about? The way you look if I have to send you out to do some chores people will laugh and kick you. But if you wear really expensive clothes they'll know you belong to a wealthy master. Instead of kicks, they'll fill your pockets with bribes so that you will arrange meetings with me.”
“I won't take bribes!” Meilin argued.
Huaisang looked at the silk garments folded on the table in front of them. Some of them were too beautiful even for him. He pulled a colorful jacket with a pattern of opened fans. The quality of the weaving was truly exceptional, there were so many different colors and designs on the opened fans.
“How about this one? People will know immediately who is your master.”
Meilin hid his face behind his hands. “Can't I stay inside and serve you, master. I don't like going out.” he said with a shaking voice.
“Too embarassed to be seen by people?”
Meilin nodded bashfully. Huaisang unfolded the garment, it had a pleasing, sturdy feel.
“My brother had a servant once. He was so beautiful that he had him greet and talk with guests. I think everyone with an affection for such a thing was a little in love with him. My greatest joy was playing dress up-with him. I loved the texture of his hair, it was soft and glossy like a woman's. Your hair could be said that it's as fine as his.” he said adjusting the mirror on the table a little, so he could see the pattern of the opened fans on Meilin's shoulders.
“Of course a handsome man like him wouldn't remain a servant forever...Straighten your neck a little, you look like a turtle.”
Meilin complied, by closing his eyes and averting his face. He couldn't even bear his own sight in a hazy mirror.
“He became very rich, fabulously rich. He had even more money than me. That's why, Meilin, you have to accept the bribes, so if I ever fall on hard times I can rely on you, like I did to my old friend. Do you know what was the first gift he brought me, when he became a master of himself?”
Meilin shook his head.
“A collection of dolls, so I could enjoy myself dressing them up and combing their hair. Insolent, don't you think?
“I do not know.” Meilin mumbled.
“Well neither did I at the time. I just enjoyed the gift, like a child. They were made of very fine porcelain, and had clothes made of real silk brocade. They even had things like embroidered kerchiefs and silk gauze caps. And on their head each of them had a set of real human hair. They were extraordinary. But even though their faces were unique and painted by hand, the shape of their heads was the same. They all had come from the same mold. There was no real difference between masters and servants. What do you think about that?”
“I do not know.” Meilin repeated touching absent-mindedly the silk on his shoulders.
“You remind me a little of those dolls...My brother had them smashed and burned in a great fire. To be honest, Meilin, I thought he did it because he was jealous. Jealous people always behave erratically, they break and burn things. You can't really predict their actions.” he said looking at Meilin's burnt side of the face in the mirror.
Meilin hummed a little to fill the silence.
“Why don't you take off your old clothes and put on the new ones?”
Meilin bowed respectfully to him.
“Please, take a look at this” the evil peony prince in his dreams said. It was a misshapen pearl.
“Where did you find this?”
“A carp carried it in its mouth.” the evil peony prince replied with a smile. “Is it not the same as the one you gave me? It might not be perfectly round, but it is the same thing, is it not?”
He leaned in to look at the pearl in the prince's palm. Because of the slight indentations the colors of pink and green shimmered with a golden sheen as the reflections from the carp pond played on it.
“Yes, it's a pearl, but it's even more priceless than my own.”
Chapter 11: The cage.
Once upon a time Meng Yao had been accused of receiving bribes to promote certain individuals to the attention of Nie Mingjue. This was a serious offense in the Unclean Realm. His brother had put him in a cell until the matter could be cleared. He hadn't told anything to Huaisang – he was probably so overwhelmed it hadn't even crossed his mind.
He had just strolled out for a walk in the grounds, happy and blissful for the coming spring, and had accidentally caught glimpse of a familiar form in the cells. “Meng Yao!” he had exclaimed with childish surprise. Meng Yao had looked at him but didn't dare to speak. He bore this silently, dignified but he must have been just as surprised as him to have Mingjue do this to him.
He had brought him a meal, and wine, even though the guard in charge frowned and muttered “I don't know if the young master is allowed to” But Huaisang had been a young master, he could do things like bring wine and food to his friend. He was not some servant one could punish until it was wrong to do so.
When he was young he had thought Meng Yao's ordeal had been so great that he was too stunned to thank him. He wasn't after gratitude or passionate declarations of devotion from his servant anyway. All he had thought was how painful and inconvenient it would be for him to have to stay at a cell. Even if it was clean and adequate, the disgrace of being seen in it alone was an inhumane torture unfit for someone as delicate as Meng Yao.
But when he had been finally released he had privately raged. He hadn't tossed, or broken things, or raised his voice like Mingjue sometimes did. He had drunk himself to bitterness and cried until Huaisang thought his eyes would fall off.
“Who is this person, Meng Yao. It's certainly not you.” he had said is disbelief. He had wanted to paint something for him to congratulate him for his exonoration, but the person in front of him hardly resembled a human. It was as if Huaisang was before a ghost. A memory of a person
It had reminded him of those stories of women, whose love made them nothing, whose love had ground their bones to dust. But even that was the romantic notion of a child. He must really love Nie Mingjue, he had thought. To be in such agony, one must feel the purest form of love.
Meng Yao had fallen asleep on the floor crying inconsolably. He had painted him then, thinking that he was painting a masterpiece. He had a vague interest in painting masterpieces back then. He had thought himself talented. Then he had seen what real masterpieces looked like and lost his courage.
But that portrait of Meng Yao, who had fallen asleep in bitterness and agony, with his eyelashes wet from crying, he had valued it more than any object of art he owned. In the darkness of his room, surrounded by his treasures, he had admired it as if it had been painted by some other hand, until he finally realized this portrait wasn't his to keep. He thought how unfortunate Meng Yao was to have two masters; one who put him in jail and one who stole things from him, and then had decided to give it back to him.
Maybe even as a little lovenote. He had tiptoed over to Meng Yao's room in the early hours of morning. It was raining outside and the whole fortress was surrounded in this deep blue haze, sleeping. He would push the door silently out of the way and leave it on Meng Yao's quilt for him to find in the morning. His heart was beating so fast. “He'll finally know how I am feeling,” was his hope.
But when he pushed the door gently ajar, and peered inside he saw his brother in Meng Yao's bed. It wasn't even a scandalous scene, like those naked couples spied by a jealous maiden in his erotic novels. It was too cold to do without a quilt. They were embraced tenderly nonetheless kissing each other with tears in their eyes.
“I love you so much.” Meng Yao had whispered. “Don't ever leave me.”
He had become so resentful; he had wanted to rattle the door and frighten them with the threat of exposure. At least that's what jealous heroes did in his novels, but could he for a jealousy topple a castle? He had returned to his room and burnt the portrait in the stove of his tea kettle. Until morning came he had been consumed by the grief of injustice.
“I was the one who brought you food and wine, and tried to cheer you up. I was the one to see your pain.” How could you return to the one who treated you cruelly, he had cried until his eyes stung, and then forgot about it the next morning.
He hadn't realized Meng Yao liked being caged up. He liked having someone else holding the tether to his life. His greatest grudge had been for Nie Mingjue who had let him go. It must have confirmed to him some secret scorn, some ingratitude Nie Mingjue harbored against him, rendering his submission to him meaningless.
Meilin stirred in his sleep. After the many hours, he had leaned drowsily against him and slept with little care in the world. The carriage swayed and creaked on the narrow road, but through the blinds he could see the morning sun reflect on the stream that run through the green maples. Roaming in the city, he had missed the clear air of the mountains, the framed views of rivers amidst branches.
He was reminded again of Meng Yao, who during his days of service would never fall asleep, or absently admire a landscape. How properly he would sit across him, chattering like bird , while his attention would be diverted from one detail to another. A bird who feels the outline of its cage with pleasure, but hasn't forgotten the danger outside of it.
“He would have always protected you.” he hears himself whisper and his attention falls on Meilin's sleeping face. “Even when you left. His love, unlike mine, was not a cage.”
Chapter 12: Put your enemy's mother next to your own.
“Young master...your room is ready. Won't you come out?”
“My servant is still sleeping.”
The curious innkeeper peered into the carriage. “I can wake him up if you want.” he offered.
“No, let him sleep. I had a servant who never slept. He was a poor servant for it.”
The innkeeper eyed him with disbelief. He guessed it was a tad eccentric for a master to let his servant sleep on him. Of course if it was a beautiful or graceful person, everyone could understand. Huaisang absently stroked his hair. How funny that nothing could fix this face. All the money in the world could not purchase a fairer fortune for this one person.
“Meilin” he whispered tucking an errant strand behind his ear. “Do you want to have breakfast?”
Meilin stirred, but only slightly. As they lay embraced he thought how nice it was to have someone so utterly trusting again. The matchmaker had chosen well. “Meilin” he touched his face. Meilin gasped and woke up
“Master, I am sorry-” he exclaimed looking around stunned. “I didn't mean to-”
“Enough apologies already. I want to drink the tea you make.” he said and got off the carriage.
Meilin looked around hesitantly. “You are so coquettish! You are no great beauty, hurry up. Give me your hand. Don't you want to see our room?”
Meilin took his hand. It was so soft and tender, the hand of a servant who only folded clothes and made tea. He was so weak from crouching and bowing all his life in some dark mansion that he had to lean heavily on him to get off the carriage.
“I can't see very well, master.” Meilin suddenly said. “I am so sorry for not telling you before.”
“I guessed it already when you told me you didn't like going out. Even if someone is ridiculed for their appearance, they don't dislike going outside unless they can't do it very well...Just hold my hand.” he said and guided him inside tenderly.
“Young master, you sure are a saint.” the maid who led them to their room said.
“Meilin is a good servant, the rest of you can't see.”
The maid giggled. For some reason he disliked her already, at least just for Meilin's sake. “Do you have any pickled plums? I'd like to have them from breakfast.” he said setting Meilin at a low table in their room. “Meilin, what do you like eating? You can have anything.”
“I can just eat your leftovers.” he softly said.
The maid had to clasp her mouth in order not to laugh out loud.
“Was your previous lord so rich that his leftovers were a banquet? Then I would like to think myself as even wealthier, because I can afford two meals. Do you have quail eggs? Meilin will have them.”
He looked around. The room was truly splendid. It was exactly what he was craving. A simple rustic room with a beautiful round window and a view to the maples and the stream. It smelled clean and fresh filled with the scent of pines carried by the mountain breeze.
“Do you perhaps have any ink and some good paper? I would like to draw the view.” he said to the maid.
“I'll see what I can do.” she said and closed the door with a big, amused smile on her face.
“Has anyone ever drawn your portrait before, Meilin?”
Meilin peered at him from beneath his lashes with something that to Huaisang resembled ire. Like a person who couldn't put up with anymore cruelty in his life. “Don't waste paper on me.”
“I don't intend to draw you as you are. Have you seen the pictures of beautiful women? Well, they are not as beautiful in real life as they are in the imagination of the artist that drew them. I will draw you as you should be.”
Meilin lowered his head again to hide his face. “Quail eggs are so slippery” he muttered.
“I will feed them to you.”
“My lord...don't do nice things for me. I do not understand them.”
“Alright, I'll paint and you will air our clothes. How does that sound? And if you want, you can eat after I eat.”
Meilin breathed relieved. “It's what I know.”
“But it makes you a bad servant not to do what I ask. It's as if between us I am the ugly one.”
Meilin didn't answer. It ruined the taste of his tea.
When he picked the brush again that same afternoon it felt heavy and foreign in his hand, as if it was made of iron. Despite the very slight sway of their clothes, hanged from the ceiling, in the breeze, his mind felt utterly empty before the clean paper in front of him.
He had promised Meilin beauty but he had no idea what that looked like even by the sound of a stream and the rustle of the maples. He had reached greater profundity drinking tea in a noisy teashop back in Kaifeng, talking to prostitutes and porters. Yet here in the calm of the country he was devoid of anything, much like the paper waiting for his pen.
Meilin sat beside him and poured wine. He had pretty, doll-like hands. Meng Yao's hands were rough from practicing swordmanship, even when he was young. Despite being quite small in appearance, they were quite strong; they could easily break things.
“Give me your hand.” he asked Meilin. “I want to teach you how to draw. Have you ever held a brush?”
“No.” Meilin mumbled.
“Writing and painting are closely linked to swordmanship, you know. First you have hold the pen from a high point. This gives you a wider range of movement. It takes quite some time to learn to control things like gesture. Just like wielding a sword you have to have a clear intent and go in with a strategy.”
Meilin was uncomfortable, he could feel it on the surface of his skin right underneath his fingertips. “I'll ruin the paper.” he said.
Huaisang felt strangely emboldened by that. “Well, before you ink the brush, you dip it first in water. You dry the excess water, and draw a sketch of the image with the water trail...Let's do a scene with the moon.” he said gesturing at the view from their window. The moon was just rising from behind the mountain, behind a branch of maple leaves.
“When my brother died I had to rely on others, just like you rely on me to draw this picture. No one was telling me of course what picture they drew using me. I had to guess that for myself. But I knew something of painting. ”
Meilin hummed, as he usually did when he didn't know what to say. Huaisang noted how easier it was to paint holding someone else's hand, he thought. Any mistakes could be attributed to the person holding the brush, instead of the one who guided the hand.
Meilin's hand was perfectly limp in his own as he clasped it and moved it above the paper. He didn't know what annoyed him more. The fact that he could see a ghost of Meng Yao's features on his face, or the effect his carefully crafted servility had on him. What would it take for this person to be honest with him? To reveal their true self?
But perhaps like those ghosts of Meng Yao he kept seeing in others' faces, a true self was also some sort of illusion.
“See, it's not that scary. The picture vanishes just as soon as you draw it.” he said. “You try it now with ink. I'll drink wine, and you will draw. The only thing we are missing is some music.”
Meilin put the brush down. The moon on the sky was just shy of four quarters, but it shone so bright, it looked almost golden. Meilin looked at him, asking with his eyes “What is it you want?” He noticed then that his harelip had been extraordinarily treated.
“Your master took you to a surgeon.” he said touching it. “His work is very skilled. He cut up the edges and sutured them with silk thread. He put a paste to prevent infection...He must have loved you very much. Is that why the mistress hated you?
Meilin covered his face as if struck.
“Were you his son, or his lover? I think you were his lover. You put poison in his tea and killed him.”
“I do not know what you are talking about.” Meilin cried. He got up, upturning the cup with the water on the table, and run to the corner of the room, before collapsing in tears. Like a bird that doesn't remember where it came from.
“That matchmaker must have been a fox spirit. Of course, she would find someone as bad as me.”
For a while nothing was heard in the room except for Meilin's wet breathing. Huaisang looked at the water soak the paper and spill from the edges of the desk. He really didn't know what to do with his judgements. They lived now within him, honed like a polished blade. They could only hurt people. And he could never again grasp things like the beauty of the moon, without its glare exposing crimes.
“I didn't mean to upset you.” he said, touching Meilin's shoulder tenderly. “I won't mention such a thing again. Come sit next to me like you did in the carriage.”
Meilin sobbed for a long time, as the moon rose in the sky and the room darkened for it. Then he turned around finally and fell in his arms. His tears soaking through their clothes.
“I love you so much. I will never leave you.” Huaisang said squeezing him tightly, as a lark sang in the night.
The next morning Meilin was gone.
“He run away this morning.” the maid said while sweeping. “They often do. There's a monastery a at the end of the road. That's where he went. The monks take in frequently runaways.”
He dressed, modestly, put on his shoes and walked all the way to the temple. At the hour of his arrival the monks were offering meals. There were quite a few visitors praying, or just generally enjoying themselves out in the yard. An old man separated him from the crowd.
“Are you looking for your servant?” he asked pointing at his fan.
“Actually” he said. “I would like to ask some other thing.”
The man, a temple servant of some sort took him to the monastery's abbot. A very old frail man, who was probably hard of hearing. He was meditating, while his assistant was having tea.
“Very soon, he'll begin fasting for his departure.” the assistant explained. “If you need help with some thing, you better ask me.”
Huaisang sat with them and drank the tea the assistant offered him. It was so strange, but he felt the whole room vibrate with prayers, even if it was utterly silent inside.
“I had an enemy that I killed.” he said. “I desecrated his mother's shrine as well. I took her bones and scattered them. I would like to know what happened to her.”
“You seem to know very well what happened to her.” the assistant said, not a hint of judgement in his voice.
“I mean I would like to know what happened to her soul? Did my actions interfere with her afterlife.”
“What do you think?”
“I do not know. That's why I ask you.”
The monk looked at him mystified. “Do you wish to punish this person further?” he asked with some concern.
“No. I regret what I did. I want to know how to make it better.”
“Better for whom? Your enemy, his mother, or yourself?”
He snorted. Monks were such obstinate minds. “For everyone involved.”
“I think you are confused. If you look at the stars and wish to move them from their place, can you do that? Absolutely not. Actions are fixed and cannot be altered. That's why it's best to detach from things.”
“But there must be something I can do. At least for her.”
“Where do you worship your mother?” the monk asked.
“How do you know my mother is dead?”
“If she were alive she would have better advised you.”
“My family's ancestral hall.” he said confused.
“Then put your enemy's mother next to her, and offer her the same rites. There are some sutras you can transcribe to allow yourself to reflect on things like piety for your elders, and mercy. I can pick them for you.”
He stared at the monk for a long time without having something to say. Then finally the chirps of the birds outside brought him back. “How much do I owe?” he said taking out his money purse. The monk regarded him coolly.
Walking out into the temple's courtyard under the sun he felt utterly lost. There was infinite beauty and grace around him, but it could not penetrate his soul. He noticed then that Meilin stood at the steps behind him. He had already been tonsured. In his hands he held a broom and with it, he swept the steps of the shrine.
“I would have always protected you.” he explained.
Meilin stared at him as if he wanted to say something. He dropped the broom and run back inside.
After a few days he had arrived at Qinghe. “There is a matchmaker in Yiling.” he said to the treasurer. “Go ask her how much she weighs. And then pay her that sum in gold.”
Chapter 13: Treasure.
It was easy enough to avoid a marriage when he was an incompetent boy. Every father in his court fretted at his sight, and every now and then he could hear someone mumble: “I hope he never asks for my daughter.” It had not sounded awfully impertinent to him at the time - he had graver matters on his mind.
But once he had aged a little, different rumors soared under the sky: “Just like his brother, he has little interest in that.”
An aunt became livid, and took it upon herself to procure him a noble spouse for the benefit of the Qinghe Nie. He did then the one thing he could to prove himself an unmarriageable idiot. He took a concubine. Or rather he made it appear so, for truly he had little interest in that.
He found a young girl, recently orphaned, whose family was ruined, and before she was ruined herself, he installed her in luxury at the women's quarters in his home. He left her there with all the appropriate tutors, and a considerable allowance, and remembered her only when he received a guest and needed someone agreeable to make the tea, or sing, or read a difficult poem.
If you asked him to draw precisely the features of her face, he would refuse for he had no idea what those were. As for what thoughts, and feelings inhabited her, those too were to him abstract and vague.
Once when he had returned from his exhausting excursion to Kaifeng, with Meilin's disdain for him in mind, he had finally considered her. He had called her and asked her if she would have been happier to leave the Unclean Realm and go live as a nun in some secluded monastery on the mountains.
He did not realize how this would not appeal to a young woman, who wore fineries, and was bestowed on charming little gifts, perfumed herself lavishly, and had every material need met in excess.
“How did I displease?” she had cried, folding in tears on the floor. “Why do you want to get rid of me?”
He had hurried then to dispel her worries, to soothe and console, and dry tears, and hold close. He did these things naively – naivety being perhaps his most natural instinct. He forgot all about the affair the very next day, and carried on putting it entirely out of his mind. Except that sometimes, he would remember Meng Yao; his tears and his entreaties and felt bitterly guilty somehow.
Not for what happened in the end, but for what had happened in the very beginning.
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